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Going out of my mind
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<blockquote data-quote="STRESSEDTOMAX" data-source="post: 573211" data-attributes="member: 3512"><p>Thank you all for your responses. Buddy...everything you said was so helpful. What you said about my husband is true...it was abusive. I am so heartbroken over HIS behavior because he has always had a rage problem but it had been dormant for years and years before this and I feel like it's so unfair that he is CONSTANTLY pushed so far that he reacts like that. He actually called while I was writing this and he could tell I was upset, which I am, because I know it's abusive but to see someone else say it was just upsetting. Which has nothing to do with you - I'm glad you said it. It's just that I don't know what to do with it. This kind of thing has been going on since difficult child was about four and this horrible dynamic developed where I had to step in between them and it gave difficult child the impression that it was me and him against husband. All I want is when difficult child sees husband is at his limit...to STOP...but I guess he can't. I wish I could say I KNOW he can't but sometimes the defiance seems so manipulative. I mean...we're asking him simple things. It seems to me like he's baiting husband and taking pleasure in it. On the other hand, I know he is scared of him at times abnd I would think if he did not have the condition he has, he would stop. difficult child has begun taking this stuff into school and telling teachers and I told husband that we are going to wind up losing him if this behavior continues. But it is not under husband control just like it is not in difficult child control so the only thing I can think of is for husband to get anger management and I'll have to search for somewhere free since he has no insurance. I am just plain overwhelmed. Believe me when I tell you that husband tries SO hard not to get to that point with difficult child and after difficult child calms down, husband feels absolutely awful.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="STRESSEDTOMAX, post: 573211, member: 3512"] Thank you all for your responses. Buddy...everything you said was so helpful. What you said about my husband is true...it was abusive. I am so heartbroken over HIS behavior because he has always had a rage problem but it had been dormant for years and years before this and I feel like it's so unfair that he is CONSTANTLY pushed so far that he reacts like that. He actually called while I was writing this and he could tell I was upset, which I am, because I know it's abusive but to see someone else say it was just upsetting. Which has nothing to do with you - I'm glad you said it. It's just that I don't know what to do with it. This kind of thing has been going on since difficult child was about four and this horrible dynamic developed where I had to step in between them and it gave difficult child the impression that it was me and him against husband. All I want is when difficult child sees husband is at his limit...to STOP...but I guess he can't. I wish I could say I KNOW he can't but sometimes the defiance seems so manipulative. I mean...we're asking him simple things. It seems to me like he's baiting husband and taking pleasure in it. On the other hand, I know he is scared of him at times abnd I would think if he did not have the condition he has, he would stop. difficult child has begun taking this stuff into school and telling teachers and I told husband that we are going to wind up losing him if this behavior continues. But it is not under husband control just like it is not in difficult child control so the only thing I can think of is for husband to get anger management and I'll have to search for somewhere free since he has no insurance. I am just plain overwhelmed. Believe me when I tell you that husband tries SO hard not to get to that point with difficult child and after difficult child calms down, husband feels absolutely awful. [/QUOTE]
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