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Parent Emeritus
Going to be a mother-in-law, again.
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 281675" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi Crazy,</p><p>I sure understand what you mean about not being able to celebrate "normal" events like other parents do! My difficult child 1 had a baby in November and I haven't even gone to see him. I can't risk it. I'm happy about his birth because I think he is making a good difference in difficult child 1's life but I have to keep my boundaries intact and also I don't really want to know all the details of difficult child's life so I can't just hop on a plane like a "normal" grandparent and go visit them. People always ask when I'll go see him and I have to say I don't know if or when I will.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 2/easy child is graduating from high school which I am thrilled about. She had such a rough time of it but not for the "normal" reasons kids have a rough time in high school. She associated doing well in school with the abuse she got from difficult child 1--it had been her escape when she was young. When she got to high school anytime she did well she would get angry and tear up her work or smash something. She felt better when she did not do well. It has taken a lot of therapy to get her to a place where she is sort of okay with doing well. You can see that this would cause problems in getting through school. </p><p></p><p>Wow, I should have started my own thread, did not mean to highjack yours. I just want you to know that I empathize and it also helps me to know there are other parents who feel that way!</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 281675, member: 3450"] Hi Crazy, I sure understand what you mean about not being able to celebrate "normal" events like other parents do! My difficult child 1 had a baby in November and I haven't even gone to see him. I can't risk it. I'm happy about his birth because I think he is making a good difference in difficult child 1's life but I have to keep my boundaries intact and also I don't really want to know all the details of difficult child's life so I can't just hop on a plane like a "normal" grandparent and go visit them. People always ask when I'll go see him and I have to say I don't know if or when I will. difficult child 2/easy child is graduating from high school which I am thrilled about. She had such a rough time of it but not for the "normal" reasons kids have a rough time in high school. She associated doing well in school with the abuse she got from difficult child 1--it had been her escape when she was young. When she got to high school anytime she did well she would get angry and tear up her work or smash something. She felt better when she did not do well. It has taken a lot of therapy to get her to a place where she is sort of okay with doing well. You can see that this would cause problems in getting through school. Wow, I should have started my own thread, did not mean to highjack yours. I just want you to know that I empathize and it also helps me to know there are other parents who feel that way! Hugs, Jane [/QUOTE]
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