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Substance Abuse
Going to file charges on 16 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 663023" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I understand. No contract I ever wrote up with my Difficult Child was worth the paper it was written on.</p><p></p><p>His bad times started when he was 19 and went straight off the cliff. I used to write these long elaborate contracts and it was all for naught---I guess it made me feel like I was trying to get some measure of control over an uncontrollable situation. It's also a process. You want to try EVERYTHING before you start taking actions that seem so big and final.</p><p></p><p>The last contract I wrote up was one page and I think it had 5 things on it. He tore it up in my face and walked out the door.</p><p></p><p>That was his first bout of homelessness. If there was anything good about it, I knew I had tried everything under the shining sun to get through to him.</p><p></p><p>Nothing worked.</p><p></p><p>Drugs and alcohol had control of him and he had no desire to give all of that up. </p><p></p><p>I was "whistling in the wind." </p><p></p><p>My son now is 26 (today is his birthday) and he has two felonies for selling drugs and multiple misdemeanors on his "record." He has been homeless multiple times. He has been to rehab multiple times. I had six years of pure hell.</p><p></p><p>This last year, he has been rebuilding his life. It's been more than 12 months now since he has been arrested or in jail. He has paid off on probation and is working on another. </p><p></p><p>Finally, something, a bunch of somethings (I have no idea what they all were) got through to him, and he decided to work for change in himself. It certainly was not on my timeline and I believe me and my "help" were of little to no value in him making a decision to start working for a better life.</p><p></p><p>There is simply no figuring this out. I have laid awake in the bed for nights on end thinking, thinking, thinking of what in the world I could do to change the course of his life. Nothing, I mean nothing, I tried ever worked, and I kept on and on for years.</p><p></p><p>Finally, I let go of it all, and after that (not immediately) is when he started to change. </p><p></p><p>I pray every single day that he keeps walking forward on this better path. You never know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 663023, member: 17542"] I understand. No contract I ever wrote up with my Difficult Child was worth the paper it was written on. His bad times started when he was 19 and went straight off the cliff. I used to write these long elaborate contracts and it was all for naught---I guess it made me feel like I was trying to get some measure of control over an uncontrollable situation. It's also a process. You want to try EVERYTHING before you start taking actions that seem so big and final. The last contract I wrote up was one page and I think it had 5 things on it. He tore it up in my face and walked out the door. That was his first bout of homelessness. If there was anything good about it, I knew I had tried everything under the shining sun to get through to him. Nothing worked. Drugs and alcohol had control of him and he had no desire to give all of that up. I was "whistling in the wind." My son now is 26 (today is his birthday) and he has two felonies for selling drugs and multiple misdemeanors on his "record." He has been homeless multiple times. He has been to rehab multiple times. I had six years of pure hell. This last year, he has been rebuilding his life. It's been more than 12 months now since he has been arrested or in jail. He has paid off on probation and is working on another. Finally, something, a bunch of somethings (I have no idea what they all were) got through to him, and he decided to work for change in himself. It certainly was not on my timeline and I believe me and my "help" were of little to no value in him making a decision to start working for a better life. There is simply no figuring this out. I have laid awake in the bed for nights on end thinking, thinking, thinking of what in the world I could do to change the course of his life. Nothing, I mean nothing, I tried ever worked, and I kept on and on for years. Finally, I let go of it all, and after that (not immediately) is when he started to change. I pray every single day that he keeps walking forward on this better path. You never know. [/QUOTE]
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Going to file charges on 16 year old son
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