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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 309776" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>When my difficult child 1 was younger, we had similar battles. It was driven by his anxiety, not by willfulness (that's just how it was expressed). As we sought treatment for his mental health issues, we also learned some parenting strategies that have helped. The books mentioned above are very helpful and I recommend you look for them in the library. You can also get them on Amazon. </p><p> </p><p>For some kids the feeling of having no control over a situation can be a big trigger. There are so few things they get to decide for themselves, sometimes it's helpful if we can structure their day so that they feel they have some say in what's happening to them.</p><p> </p><p>Clothing issues can be worked on the day before. "Let's figure out what you'd like to wear tomorrow." Or, "Which outfit do you want to wear tomorrow: A or B?" </p><p> </p><p>And sometimes we have to just let clothing issues go. That's also an option. You've probably heard the expression about "choosing your battles wisely." That applies here.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe she's feeling rushed in the morning -- that can be a trigger for some kids, too. Maybe there's something going on at school that has her worried or anxious: another student, the teacher, an assignment. We learn to be good detectives with kids like this.</p><p> </p><p>Some kids can respond to positive reinforcements. Making the morning routine a rewarding one, and turning it into a game can work for some kids. "Let's see if we can get breakfast finished before the big hand gets to the 3!" "If you can get dressed before the clock gets to 7:30, you can pick out a treat to take to school today." You get the idea.</p><p> </p><p>But ultimately, you'll want to find out what's driving your daughter's resistance in the morning, and to do that you may need to seek some professional help.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 309776, member: 3444"] When my difficult child 1 was younger, we had similar battles. It was driven by his anxiety, not by willfulness (that's just how it was expressed). As we sought treatment for his mental health issues, we also learned some parenting strategies that have helped. The books mentioned above are very helpful and I recommend you look for them in the library. You can also get them on Amazon. For some kids the feeling of having no control over a situation can be a big trigger. There are so few things they get to decide for themselves, sometimes it's helpful if we can structure their day so that they feel they have some say in what's happening to them. Clothing issues can be worked on the day before. "Let's figure out what you'd like to wear tomorrow." Or, "Which outfit do you want to wear tomorrow: A or B?" And sometimes we have to just let clothing issues go. That's also an option. You've probably heard the expression about "choosing your battles wisely." That applies here. Maybe she's feeling rushed in the morning -- that can be a trigger for some kids, too. Maybe there's something going on at school that has her worried or anxious: another student, the teacher, an assignment. We learn to be good detectives with kids like this. Some kids can respond to positive reinforcements. Making the morning routine a rewarding one, and turning it into a game can work for some kids. "Let's see if we can get breakfast finished before the big hand gets to the 3!" "If you can get dressed before the clock gets to 7:30, you can pick out a treat to take to school today." You get the idea. But ultimately, you'll want to find out what's driving your daughter's resistance in the morning, and to do that you may need to seek some professional help. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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