Going to see her this Saturday!

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AnnieO, May 19, 2014.

  1. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I haven't seen my Belle since the end of December... She was sent to prison in February and it's taken this long to get everything worked out for a visit.

    We've been emaling. There were a few calls, but she really doesn't have any money and the rates are atrocious, so we'd rather email. Plus, it is very hard to hear her voice without being able to see her.

    The visit is from noon to 3:45 PM... I don't know what we are going to talk about for nearly four hours! Or if it will even be that long... It may not. I don't know how it works. Pretty sure it's not through glass though! I've never understood how all this stuff works... Never knew anyone who went to even jail before.

    I'm excited to see my girl, clean & sober, safe, and without her boyfriend... I am also super nervous, though I know she will be on her best behavior.
     
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Congrats! I wil be prattling that all goes well!
     
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'll be thinking of you, I'm sure it will be difficult to see her there but also good to see her clean & sober. Are you taking M?
     
  4. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    Annie I will start praying today that you have a good peaceful visit with her.

    Please let us know how it how. Hugs.



    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
     
  5. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    They let prisoners email? I have never heard of that! Sounds like a much better visit than county jail - we got 15 minutes on a phone through glass.

    Please update us after the visit! Her board aunties are praying for her... <3
     
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Nancy, yes, we are ALL going. I know Belle will be on her best behavior, plus there are monitors, and, well, I think knowing she has Rose and Pat on the outside will do MUCH more for her than me and her Dad. Just sayin'.

    DSTC & COM, thank you!

    PG... LOL... When she was in county we got 30 minutes on a phone through glass, and we shared it between husband, Pat and me. I hated it. I'd been there before, many years ago when a boyfriend had gotten in serious trouble. I guess prisons are different. Heck I get the impression they even let her send letters back and forth to her boyfriend. Ugh.
     
  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Speaking of which, need to start a new thread about a letter...
     
  8. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Annie - sending lots of good juju vibes for the visit.


    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
     
  9. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope that you have a great visit!

    ~Kathy
     
  10. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hi Annie,
    Yes, I am sure she will be on her best behavior. My young difficult child in prison was so clear-headed and positive regarding the future.

    Don't forget a $10 roll of quarters. They will likely have vending machines and you can buy treats and drinks with change only.

    Hoping for a good visit.
    LMS
     
  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good luck today!!

    sent from mobile phone
     
  12. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    I hope it goes well!!!
     
  13. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well??

    sent from mobile phone
     
  14. Terryforvols

    Terryforvols Member

    Good luck and happy visit!

    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
     
  15. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So . . . how did it go?
     
  16. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    The roll of quarters wouldn't have worked... LOL bills only, and we had to put them on a facility-specific debit card that only works THERE.

    Here's how it went...

    We live very near a state route which also runs right past the prison so it was a very easy drive. husband's family farm is about fifteen minutes from the prison... LOL... the SR kinda runs into it, then curves around it. So we found food in the town (there's the prison AND an auto plant so lots of stuff to choose from), then off to see the girl...

    Arrived, emptied pockets etc. into the trunk, took transparent diaper bag and IDs and paperwork in. Paperwork was birth certs for Pat and Rose and a current utility bill. So... We find out I am denied... Because we don't have mail in my name. Just husband's. Well what about car registration? Nope, has to be mailed to the house. (Well, mine is, but...) FRANTIC search through the glove box - nada. But then - light bulb! - I paid a couple of bills last week and never took the invoices out of my purse. Woohoo, ONE of the three had my name!

    husband had to make another trip out though because we had a change of clothes for Rose - not allowed - and her sippy had water in it - also not allowed. The sippy cup was OK, not the water so I poured it out. We could purchase a debit card from their kiosk - only works there, no money allowed inside. Machine only took cash and the card cost $2 - and we had $5 between us in cash (husband used the rest to get us drinks on the way up... If we had known...). So we ended up with $3 to spend.

    Hands stamped with invisible ink, and we were on our way in. The room was an old gym/theater type room with a stage - which is where we had to leave the diaper bag. There were outdoor tables but they were already taken, and once you're in, you're in. So OK. We sat at our designated table and waited... And waited...

    Inmate has to sit in a specific seat, facing a specific way. Not allowed to use the vending machines. Separate restrooms for inmates and visitors (pretty sure theirs has a camera). Inmates NOT allowed to change diapers. In play and coloring areas, inmates and children only allowed. Well, husband went to get a drink because Rose was waving her sippy around and the 12 oz can of V8 fruit juice was $1.50. (OWWWW!) - and the machine took the card and spit it out without the drink the first time. Most expensive can of fruit juice ever, $3.00... NO REFUNDS. There's also food and a microwave - next time we're loading like $30 on the card! (They also take pictures - 2 copies, one for the inmate and one for the visitor - they are $3 and, well, no money today.)

    Rose had fun with the toys and coloring though she was very wary of Belle at first. This is normal with her, she's iffy about strangers, and Belle IS one. I got the first hug though.

    She had the left side of her head corn rowed up and the rest was left down - no straightening so it looked gorgeous. Her hair is pretty dark now, naturally, but that's no surprise - husband and his sister and niece were blonde as kids and now it's darker. And of course biomom had VERY dark hair. At first we thought she'd shaved her head - phew!

    They are apparently allowed some makeup - she did look good. Not overdone, but some. The thing that threw me the most though was her weight. Holy koi. I knew they feed them a lot of carbs and they don’t get much exercise but WOW. She must weigh at least 170 now. It's going to be hard to get off, too, as she has her mother's build. Well, when she gets out maybe we can walk together. Nice, healthy, low-key, no-stress.

    She has PLANS. She wishes she could be transferred to the facility near us because they would help her transition (I'm sure the town has something like that, too, just not in her preferred neighborhood). She is going to take classes, just on a waiting list right now. Then when she gets out she will get federal aid for college. She has an apartment complex she thinks will let her move in being a felon... It's notorious around here for drugs and crime.

    She did *finally* bring up boyfriend... I guess they're still communicating... Says he is completely Straight Edge, shaves his head every day, has a tattoo of a bear on the side of his head (GREAT for job hunting...) and apparently has told her she has to promise no drugs when she gets out or it is over. She's concerned because he's never given her an ultimatum before. But she LUUUUVS him. Ugh. As husband put it... He has nothing against boyfriend per se, but the two of them together are toxic. I kept my mouth shut. boyfriend isn't good enough for her. But that's MY opinion.

    But... Something was different about the way she talked about him. I am HOPING and PRAYING that he loses his shine with the ultimatums.

    She also agreed to write my BFFs’ kid J, who is heading toward the same path... We all hope it might help... It can't hurt. She adores J, so hopefully it will shine through her letter.

    Pat did great! He said she wasn't the same Belle, even if she was the same. I agree... But I don't know how different that might be.

    When we left... We almost didn't get back out because they had a hard time seeing the black-light stamp on Rose's hand! And I was having a hard time not crying, leaving my oldest baby behind all that razor wire and electric fencing.
     
  17. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a good visit - I agree - the hardest part is leaving them there..:(
     
  18. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Wow. Thank you for sharing your experience! Sounds like it would be very difficult emotionally. ((((Hugs))))
     
  19. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    I'm glad you all got to visit with her. I am sure it was hard to leave.


    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
     
  20. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It sounds like a good visit. I wouldn't have known about bringing cash, either. The things we learn when we have difficult children.

    ~Kathy
     
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