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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 392803" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>A young man at difficult child 3's drama class had serious problems a few years ago, with "falling in love" with various pretty girls he saw. It happened every flippin' time we were at a get-together and his parents were going crazy. An example - he and his parents would arrive at the party. The purpose of the party - either a seasonal get-together, or a birthday party for one of the drama kids. ALL the drama kids are difficult child in some way, mostly with autism, some with developmental delay. Because it's a party, a lot of siblings, friends and family are there too. Non-difficult child with lives they have got on with. This guy would see a pretty girl who was either someone's sister or sis-in-law and then would convince himself that she was the one. Then he would find out that this girl was already attached - and the bottom would drop out of his world. His mother would generally have to take him home, him threatening suicide because "my life is over - she will never love me, she loves someone else."</p><p>This guy is actually very good-looking but also a bit vain. He's actually a nice guy, but his mother looks and dresses like Posh Beckham and so he has his own very high standards. In vain did we try to say to him, "You need to get to know a girl first and get to be friends, before you fall in love for real." He said, "I don't WANT a friend, I want a girlfriend!"</p><p></p><p>We saw an amazing change in him when his parents found an anti-anxiety medication that calmed down the obsessive side of this. He still looks around for girls, but no longer catastrophically falls in love within seconds of seeing a pretty girl across the room. Meanwhile without realising it, he has a lot of female friends who he is close to. He just doesn't really understand yet what romantic love really is. He never did - he was instead, in love with the idea of being in love.</p><p></p><p>I suspect your daughter is doing the same - in fiction, all our problems are solved by the end of the book (or movie) when love finally blossoms. She knows she has problems, but love will cure it. And likely-looking lad will do. It's pure fantasy, and also a childish attempt at problem-avoidance. Pure immaturity. </p><p></p><p>We need to remember sometimes, that our difficult children can take a lot longer to reach their emotional milestones. In the meantime, they reach for the goals and miss by a mile.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, it's going to be a bumpy ride. But possibly a change in medications might reduce the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) side of things.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 392803, member: 1991"] A young man at difficult child 3's drama class had serious problems a few years ago, with "falling in love" with various pretty girls he saw. It happened every flippin' time we were at a get-together and his parents were going crazy. An example - he and his parents would arrive at the party. The purpose of the party - either a seasonal get-together, or a birthday party for one of the drama kids. ALL the drama kids are difficult child in some way, mostly with autism, some with developmental delay. Because it's a party, a lot of siblings, friends and family are there too. Non-difficult child with lives they have got on with. This guy would see a pretty girl who was either someone's sister or sis-in-law and then would convince himself that she was the one. Then he would find out that this girl was already attached - and the bottom would drop out of his world. His mother would generally have to take him home, him threatening suicide because "my life is over - she will never love me, she loves someone else." This guy is actually very good-looking but also a bit vain. He's actually a nice guy, but his mother looks and dresses like Posh Beckham and so he has his own very high standards. In vain did we try to say to him, "You need to get to know a girl first and get to be friends, before you fall in love for real." He said, "I don't WANT a friend, I want a girlfriend!" We saw an amazing change in him when his parents found an anti-anxiety medication that calmed down the obsessive side of this. He still looks around for girls, but no longer catastrophically falls in love within seconds of seeing a pretty girl across the room. Meanwhile without realising it, he has a lot of female friends who he is close to. He just doesn't really understand yet what romantic love really is. He never did - he was instead, in love with the idea of being in love. I suspect your daughter is doing the same - in fiction, all our problems are solved by the end of the book (or movie) when love finally blossoms. She knows she has problems, but love will cure it. And likely-looking lad will do. It's pure fantasy, and also a childish attempt at problem-avoidance. Pure immaturity. We need to remember sometimes, that our difficult children can take a lot longer to reach their emotional milestones. In the meantime, they reach for the goals and miss by a mile. Hang in there, it's going to be a bumpy ride. But possibly a change in medications might reduce the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) side of things. Marg [/QUOTE]
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