Good signs for 2012

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by toughlovin, Dec 31, 2011.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Hi all,

    Here is hoping you all have a good year in 2012 and that your difficult children figure some things out this coming year!!!

    I am seeing some good signs with my difficult child. Small steps and I really don't know how he is doing because his communication is pretty sporadic but he has sent mem two poems which I really liked. He has said he would like us to visit. And today he texted me and told me he is writing a lot about his life and is starting from his early life and so wanted some reminders of things that happened while he was growing up. I don't know if this is some assignment he is doing in the rehab program or just him doing it... but I think it is kind of cool and a good sign.

    He did not get to move over to the less restrictive sober house today like he hoped. Apparently they do not have any beds but will have one on Monday.... so he is still at the more restrictive place but did not seem overly upset by that.

    The poems touched me.... and were about moving on. So what feels different this time around is it seems he is really starting to look at some stuff and starting to do some inside work. That makes me hopeful.

    TL
     
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    That's very hopeful. Isn't it wonderful when they start to look at themselves, I mean really look at their life. I am still amazed at things my difficult child tells me that she has thought about. I don't think she ever looked inside herself until just recently. It sounds like your difficult child is doing a lot of work and the best part is once that is done it will always be with him. He will no longer be able to hide from the things he is learning about himself.

    I hope 2012 is a good year for our difficult child's, a new sober life with goals and dreams and many opportunities.

    Nancy
     
  3. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TL, I think your difficult child is on the right track. Here's hoping it continues into 2012.:wine:

    My difficult child is here spending the night after turning down her boyfriend who invited her to go out with him and his friends. Since she knew they would be drinking, she made the decision to spend the night here instead. She also has a job interview on Monday.

    So I am cautiously hoping for a better year ahead.

    ~Kathy
     
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Kathy I meant to tell you how happy I was that your difficult child is spending the night with you. That made my heart feel so good because I know what it means to you. For your difficult child to choose to do that instead of going out with the boyfriend shows a lot of growth. Enjoy your evening together ;).

    Nancy
     
  5. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Me too Kathy... I think it is huge that she decided to stay home. Meanwhile I got some texts from my difficult child tonight that make me wonder....I think he is sober but am wondering about other mischief.
     
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Mischief or more serious?

    Nancy
     
  7. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Nancy, I don't know if I should be happy or not. She is lying in bed with me subjecting me to episode after episode of Big Bang Theory.
    :hammer:

    Of course I am kidding. I would much rather her be here than out doing who knows what with who knows who. The director of the halfway house told her that he thought it was a great idea that she spend the night here.

    ~Kathy
     
  8. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Not sure...i am wary but it could be absolutely nothing....and of course once i started asking too many questions he topped texting...maybe he is in a meeting? I can hope. And it could totally be me jumping to conclusions.
     
  9. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Kathy I am jealous, what a nice way to spend the evening.

    TL I know, I started thinking the worst today when she wouldn't answer her phone and we had been trying since 11 am until she finally called at 2:30 pm. husband was sure she was hung over. Turns out she slept in and then took a shower and didn't look at her phone. When we saw her an hour later she looked perfectly fine but of course our imagination was running wild on us. I don't know when that goes away.

    Nancy
     
    Last edited: Jan 1, 2012
  10. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TL, my imagination runs wild whenever I can't get ahold of my difficult child or I think she is acting strangely. Usually, it turns out to be nothing at all. I hope that is all it is in your case.

    Keep us updated.
     
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Its probably nothing. Either he fell asleep or was watching tv or hundreds of other things. I know lots of times when Tony is out of town he is playing one of the game consoles at night when I cant reach him.

    We kept McKenzie last night so Cory and Mandy could have their NYE party at their house. Everyone stayed over so no drinking and driving. All of their friends are of age now so they were pretty responsible about it.
     
  12. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    The problem is he sends us snippets of info but never the whole story. So yesterday he sent me some pictures via text that made wonder... but he did not answer all my questions... which could be because he gets tired of my questions (true) or because there is some piece he doesn't want to tell me or because he gets tired of my always assuming he is somehow guilty even when he isn't.

    So at this point I am just assuming he didn't do anything, no news is good news, and if he was really in trouble I know he would call us.

    And he just texted me to see if I would add $20 to his grocery card because he ran out of hygiene stuff.... I texted him back and said he needs to learn to budget and he would get more on Wednesday. Pat on the back for me for not falling for it this time. :)

    TL
     
  13. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good job, TL!! There is no hygiene product that can't wait until Wednesday.
     
  14. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You got that right! Good job TL.

    Nancy
     
  15. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Good signs and good thoughts that they keep on coming!!!
     
  16. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Yeah I figure he probably has access to soap... and probably could borrow a little toothpaste! LOL.

    TL
     
  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Doesn't even need toothpaste - for a few nights, plain water is fine.
    Doesn't even need toothbrush... Damp washcloth polishes those pearlies pretty good - but that assumes there is laundry soap to clean the washcloth...

    Unless he has a job interview Wed morning... in which case deodorant might be a tad more important...
     
  18. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Got a text from my son... he has moved over to the less restrictive sober house. Now he can get a job etc. This is good news. It also must mean my previous worries from the other night were unfounded. Phew.

    TL
     
  19. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Whew/phew! That is good news.

    Nancy
     
  20. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Phew -- very good news!!! So glad things are looking up! :)
     
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