Since all I had been doing was venting lately, I thought I would give a positive update on me. I went to my therapist on thursday, I was such a mess that I called on Monday and told her I was not doing well and needed to see her. She fit me in, on what I think was her lunch break. It was all I could do to keep from crying during the visit, I had to go back to work afterward so I did not want to go back looking like I had been crying, it is not pretty. She called my primary doctor who handles my medications but she wasn't in. Left a message. Called dan's psychiatrist to find out if he could go anywhere for a few days as I needed a break. His psychiatrist called me back that evening. Asked me what was going on, I explained how I had been feeling, I won't go into details but it was clearly my depression rearing its ugly head hardcore. Asked me what medications I take and the dosages, I told him. He upped my zoloft to 200mg. I was worried about my primary doctor being upset that I was following his directions when he is not even my doctor, though I do trust him. He said he knows her and they get along and to just tell her I am following doctor's orders. I am taking Tuesday and Wednesday off. Tuesday will be a completely me day. My mom gave me some money and told me I can only use it on me, and that is my plan. I am going to get the stereo from my kia, the one that was totalled, installed in my focus. I love that stereo, it has a port to plug my mp3 player into, and with the speakers and subwoofers in the focus it will rock. I might go for a hike or a drive or both. I can already feel the difference from the increase in zoloft. I respond quickly to dose increases, thank god. Just wanted to give a positve update since everything else I have posted has been so negative.