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Substance Abuse
Good vibes needed. girlfriend broke up with difficult child. difficult child reached out to H...+
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 546933"><p>It's so flipping frustrating.</p><p></p><p>H just told me that one of the reasons difficult child wants to work elsewhere is because working for M is "too close to home." He went up to M's brother's and stayed overnight for a while to do some work and was treated like family. Apparently, M got to know the girlfriend pretty well - girlfriend started babysitting for them, and M did some work for girlfriend's family. Plus M has done work for us and a lot of our friends - which is how difficult child got the job 4 years ago. And let me be clear - M has been great to difficult child. difficult child was without transportation this summer, so M picked him up (at the girlfriend's house) so he could get to work, EVERY day.</p><p></p><p>So it sounds like difficult child's world has gotten too small and it's hard to be a BS'er when everyone knows each other. The gig is up. </p><p></p><p>And as much as I write it with a smirk on my face, my heart is aching. difficult child always had too much self esteem. He wanted to be the "golden boy", the "special snowflake" all of the time - from the day he was born. We used to jokingly tell him "we are a FAMILY; this is NOT<em> The <insert name> Show.</em>" And in a lot of ways, he was a young man who SHINED. Great manners, nice looking, good grades, well spoken, decent athlete. He isn't that golden boy anymore. Being perceived as below ordinary or "a loser" will be an enormous blow to his psyche and his downfall. </p><p></p><p>I know I don't mention it often, but H has a brother a lot like that. He's 46 now, a HS dropout, spent some time in prison for forgery/identity theft and is basically an <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> yet a total braggart. Drug user, a one time dealer, a total con artist. He constantly put H down publicly and privately, except for those times he is asking for money. Every time life doesn't work out for him (basically every 6 months to a year), he pulls up stakes and starts over elsewhere. Nothing is ever his fault. He completely fails to see that he is the common denominator in everything that has gone wrong for him. He's 46 years old and owns nothing but the clothes he wears. H hasn't spoken to him in 3 years or so - he finally decided he was no longer welcome in our lives. I am so afraid that my sweet boy is following in his uncle's footsteps and yet I am POWERLESS to stop it.</p><p></p><p>And I am scared for where he will land.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 546933"] It's so flipping frustrating. H just told me that one of the reasons difficult child wants to work elsewhere is because working for M is "too close to home." He went up to M's brother's and stayed overnight for a while to do some work and was treated like family. Apparently, M got to know the girlfriend pretty well - girlfriend started babysitting for them, and M did some work for girlfriend's family. Plus M has done work for us and a lot of our friends - which is how difficult child got the job 4 years ago. And let me be clear - M has been great to difficult child. difficult child was without transportation this summer, so M picked him up (at the girlfriend's house) so he could get to work, EVERY day. So it sounds like difficult child's world has gotten too small and it's hard to be a BS'er when everyone knows each other. The gig is up. And as much as I write it with a smirk on my face, my heart is aching. difficult child always had too much self esteem. He wanted to be the "golden boy", the "special snowflake" all of the time - from the day he was born. We used to jokingly tell him "we are a FAMILY; this is NOT[I] The <insert name> Show.[/I]" And in a lot of ways, he was a young man who SHINED. Great manners, nice looking, good grades, well spoken, decent athlete. He isn't that golden boy anymore. Being perceived as below ordinary or "a loser" will be an enormous blow to his psyche and his downfall. I know I don't mention it often, but H has a brother a lot like that. He's 46 now, a HS dropout, spent some time in prison for forgery/identity theft and is basically an :censored2: yet a total braggart. Drug user, a one time dealer, a total con artist. He constantly put H down publicly and privately, except for those times he is asking for money. Every time life doesn't work out for him (basically every 6 months to a year), he pulls up stakes and starts over elsewhere. Nothing is ever his fault. He completely fails to see that he is the common denominator in everything that has gone wrong for him. He's 46 years old and owns nothing but the clothes he wears. H hasn't spoken to him in 3 years or so - he finally decided he was no longer welcome in our lives. I am so afraid that my sweet boy is following in his uncle's footsteps and yet I am POWERLESS to stop it. And I am scared for where he will land. [/QUOTE]
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