We had a good week this week. She made it to school on time all week. She even did a little bit of homework. (Not much but I am taking what I can get at this point.) She had a psychiatrist and therapist appointment., and talked during both. (normally she just sits and refuses to answer.) She even asked the psychiatrist to increase her Celexa because she was still feeling anxious. She was somewhat helpful around the house by feeding the dogs and cleaning up after dinner. She even hugged my mom when she left on Thursday to go home. (she NEVER hugs people.) and she genuinely wanted my mom to stay longer. Friday night she want to a poetry reading at one of th elocal coffeehouses. This is the first time she has been out with friends in a long time. But one of the biggest things is that she has been going to sleep somewhat regularly. I think the latest she was up was 11:30. For her that is wonderful. And last night, she went to sleep around 10:15. ON HER OWN!!! She is finally listening to her body. So, why is it that I am sitting here waiting for the other shoe to drop? I look at everything she does with an ulterior motive. That she has to be doing all of this for some other reason. I hate feeling like that, but after everything, I just can't believe that she is wanting to be better. I sit there wondering, if she wakes back up after I go to sleep, and then stays up all night. Is she doing some chores because she wants something? I just have aboslutely no trust in anything she says or does. And, I know she can sense that. And, on one hand, I feel like she will quit trying, but on the other, I am just not ready to be hurt again. And, then I wonder, am I just letting her get away with things because I want her to not have conflict. I hate second guessing every single parenting step I take. It s%^ks. Sigh.