Goodness Gracious....difficult child#2 has been hired by the State Prison!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DDD, Jun 4, 2013.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yes, I am detached as much as I can be. Sigh! difficult child#2 (the 22 yr. old that lived with me for eight years or so before GFGmom claimed his back again) is a sensitive a/k/a complex kid. He has a string of diagnosis's including Aspergers, BiPolar (BP), ADHD and SA. His Mother has really tried to get him working since he graduated from the high school. The only "regular" job he had was at McD's...part time...and he "couldn't take the pressure" and quit. The young Manager made a fine effort to be supportive. He just couldn't multi-task and thought he needed to correct other employees whom he believed were not doing their jobs right. Sigh!

    He is officially hired by the State as a CO. He will be working the nightshift. He has NO clue how to get along with people. He is really naive. New Mantra for me "I AM detached! I AM detached!" etc. In case you all forgot I LOVE this strange kid! DDD
  2. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    Well that is a really good job! Many people I know from where I am from consider that a fabulous job good pay and benefits!

    I can understand your concern! Hopefully he will get used to the nice pay check and have a reason to work hard to keep this job, even though it will be hard without the social skills most people need to keep a job.

    It could go well! It could, good luck to your difficult child!
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Okay, I am sorry, what is a CO? Sounds good? :)
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, it's been a while since the last job..........and perhaps it will work out for him. It would be great pay and benefits if he could manage it.

    I understand your concern and need to detach, however. The thought of Travis in such an environment would set me off into a full blown anxiety attack and I'm very good at detachment.

    Saying a prayer, keeping fingers crossed for him.

  5. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Wow, I'll cross fingers it meshes for him.

    I find it so funny that in the US you don't need to go to school to be a CO. Here you must take a two year college program in order to apply for CO jobs (I took the program about 16 years ago). The same program enables one to also work as a probation or parole officer, work in young offender facilities, and either provincial jails or federal penitentiaries.

    I hope they train well, it's a highly detailed job for obvious reasons (security paramount reason).
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Wow. If I recall, that requires passing classes for it and getting certified as well, or it used to.
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    This might be a sign of maturity in him! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he does well in his new job.
  8. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    I know what you mean, about wishing him well and staying detached. That's hard to do! There must have been something about him that made him stand out from the other applicants. Sending good thoughts that he can do this ~ and that you are able to relax and enjoy the fine job you have done with him.

    That's the thing with our difficult children. We just NEVER know what's coming!


  9. DDD - Wow, I can understand why this would cause a lot of anxiety for you. A strange job choice for a young man that has a difficult time handling pressure. Is it possible he has learned some coping skills recently? Has a lightbulb one off in his head? That happens sometimes, especially with boys, and they make a huge leap almost overnight.

    It's difficult because on the one hand you want to be happy for him in his new career and job and on the other hand you're afraid of how this is going to turn out. I say be happy for him and put the rest in the hands of a higher power.

  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm hoping that somehow he is meant to be a Correctional Officer because it would be awesome for him to have a stable career. Obviously it's time for the Serenity Prayer AGAIN! He starts the job, then takes a training course at the local college
    and then YIKES gets firearm training. Fingers crossed. Thanks for understanding. DDD
  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD, i laughed at your last post...firearms argh! Did your difficult child daughter put the word in for him? Didn't she work on the police force or something? Fingers crossed he is successful, safe & happy!
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yep, Wend. GFGmom worked there in the past and she has been determined to get him hired so he could earn a good income. Sigh. DDD
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    So he can help "support" her? (hope not)
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You all, sadly, "know" GFGmom. Maybe or maybe not.......only time will tell. DDD
  15. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    You know DDD,
    I find it interesting that difficult child #2 is going to work as a CO for the prison system. My young difficult child and your difficult child #2 have some things in commen as you know with their Aspie tendencies. I think they work better in structure and where the lines are rigidly and clearly drawn.
    I hope this will be a really good fit for your difficult child #2. What an awesome opportunity...No more flippin burgers! ;-)

  16. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    As I read this DDD, I had the thought that maybe since you are now 'officially detached', his gears shifted, he changed and he got a job! I so hope this works out for him and especially for you..............hugs........
  17. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Got my fingers crossed for him that he does well. It might vary from state but our Correctional Officers go through very vigorous training before they are ever actually allowed to work around inmates. We have a training academy where they go for the first six weeks. They take all kinds of classes in policies and procedures, self-defense, how to handle inmates, first aid, CPR, safety, legal issues - anything and everything. They will be expected to follow the policies and procedures to the letter! They also receive both physical and psychological exams while they're there so his diagnoses may become a problem. With ours, when they finish the academy, they then return to the institution and go through another six weeks of closely supervised on-the-job training.

    I hate to sound too discouraging and who knows, he may turn out to have a real knack for it. But the job of Correctional Officer in a prison is extremely stressful and a huge responsibility. If you're careless or make a mistake there, someone could die. CO's are under constant pressure, both from the inmates and the administration. Dealing with inmates all day is about as stressful as it gets and would try the patience of a saint! They will be disrespectful, call him names, throw things and sometimes try to spit on him - or worse! They try to "test" the new employees and will attempt to run every game in the book on him. Some people can handle it and some people can't. Again, I don't want to sound discouraging. He just might find his "nicht" there and do very well. Much luck to him.
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I know you are worried but my ex was about as idiotic as they come and has since been dxd with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). He actually did well as a CO at a maximum security prison. Now he only worked there until I had Billy because he quit thinking my parents should take care of all of us then but before that he did well.
  19. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Around here they hire first, issue uniforms and get them acclimated to the prison. Then they have to take a course at the local college and have firearms training before they work alone. I'm always rooting for him but he doesn't "get" other people easily and if someone acts friendly...he thinks he has a friend. Sigh. Gods will be done. DDD
  20. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    difficult child quit his prison job today....three days was two too many. He said it was "scarey" and "he didn't like it" so "he quit".
    GFGmom is now reapplying for Disability for him. He never should have been denied in the first place. He is such a vulnerable kid and he and his Mom have sought employment that is "beyond" his capabilities. I'm sad AND I am relieved at the same time. Sigh. DDD