Goodness Gracious...how many years can this last?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Apr 10, 2013.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I am really sorry for all the "mega" posts but "darn it" I am running out of patience and appropriate parenting input. Yes, I "know" the girlfriend is monitoring my posts and I don't give a xxxx. Yesterday I found an awesome home purchase possibility. girlfriend is "unsettled" (my word not easy child/difficult child's) because she does not want ME to be in control. OMG...today I find out that she was stoned and doesn't remember that the kitchen has a "pantry". "It does???", says the girlfriend. I don't remember that. For those of you who have been my friends for over a decade..........I x'ing can't believe how messed up this is! Call it a whine. Call it whatever you want to call it. MY KID (yeah, the one with the titanium plate in his head) is greatly attached to an ignorant, pot smoking low life! YIKES! DDD

    Yeah, I know this is going to cause flack but I don't give a Rat's. It's like watching a MAJOR train wreck from a few feet away. Sorry but I just have to vent!
     
  2. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Well too bad so sad for girlfriend if she is "unsettled"...You have done everything in your power to make a home purchase possible...she gets NO SAY!

    Vent away, DDD, How incredibly annoying that she's reading your posts...she needs to butt out!!!

    I love ya!
    Your friend,
    LMS
     
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thanks, Tammy. My nerves are getting frayed. I just want my kid to be squared away when I'm no longer able to influence him. I know that you know what I mean. It's grating on my old people nerves!
    Your friend, DDD
     
  4. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I do know what you mean...Where was this "woman" when you took over after bio mom was not able to properely care for her son? Where was this woman during the darkest days...rehabs, arrests, probations, jail, injury, recovery etc?
    She has just steppped into your lives and thinks she gets to call the shots now? I don't think so!!! Not so fast...You are the one who will love this "man/boy" through thick and thin...who know's how long she'll be in the picture.

    You are his mother by all accounts. She should be applauding your efforts to help him be settled and succeed in life instead she doesn't appreciate your efforts and influence.

    Can you talk to easy child/difficult child about all of this...Have you told him point blank, "I want you to be okay when I am no longer able to help?" I think he would be receptive...I think maybe he could talk to his girlfriend and let her know that you have only his best interest at heart...this is not a competition...but an act of love.

    LMS
     
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Tammy, he knows the difference. on the other hand........sigh........he knows that I am not going to be around forever and he has bonded with her. They have a puppy who is "their baby". He is not 100% aok due to the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and I'm really trying to keep as low a profile as I can. Truthfully it would darn near kill me if all this effort were for naught. She insists on using his last name on Facebook EVEN THOUGH I have "nicely and politely" explained that he has to be seen as a single disabled buy for SSD to keep him on the rolls. She is SO VERY "proud" that she has lassoed one of the best "catches" in our area that she just can't stop herself. She is not evil....she is just you'know'whattin' stupid. I am sure that she is ADHD (as he is) but likely has some other diagnosis's. It is MEGA frustrating. He is no longer playing the field and she has gotten him to block all the females who used to pursue him. Honestly, even though I can't believe it, she has literally convinced him that "couples share ALL their texts and emails". He is getting more and more isolated. The GOOD part is that she has managed to block all the major undesirables. The BAD part is that she has taken control of his life. SIGH! He is on SSD and can not keep his benefits if he marries or presents himself as in a committed relationship. Her "frequent" posts refer to "we are getting a new house" etc. etc. and it is scaring me to death. easy child/difficult child tells me "Mama SSD doesn't care about FB and texts." She is not 100% evil. She just is DUMB !DDD
     
  6. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry DDD.

    Mixed blessing it sounds like. Am really glad to hear the "undesirables" are out of the picture but sorry to hear that girlfriend has taken such control of easy child/difficult child's life. Do you think because of the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and the fact that she is an older woman is causing him to trust her "good judgement"?

    LMS
     
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yeah...I do, Tammy. on the other hand I have a good news post that is awesome...........with NO whine, LOL! DDD
     
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    DDD....I am going to write you a PM and I would like you to print it out and give it to your grandson. I know that he knows about this site obviously. You can tell him it is from a woman who cares but who knows a great deal about some things. Okay?
     
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