Gosh I Hope this is a Non-Issue!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Apr 17, 2012.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    If you can, shake a little bead or send a good thought our way about 4:30 or so...

    That's when difficult child gets home from school and will be receiving a little bad news.

    Her little brother keeps entering writing contests at the local library and doing well - earning certificates and prizes. difficult child is jealous, but has never actually entered the contests herself. Instead, she just makes snide comments that she *would've* won - but didn't feel like entering, or didn't have time or that sort of thing.

    Well, this latest contest was for writing poetry. difficult child considers poetry her specialty - so she picked out a poem and entered the contest. (Yay!!) So both kids entered the contest...and because they are in different grades they are in two different divisions. It is possible that they BOTH could have won awards for their poetry.

    Results are in today.

    DS won a prize. difficult child did not.

    Please cross your fingers that difficult child handles the news well and can say something nice to her brother...instead of having a meltdown.

    Thank you!
  2. My thoughts will be with you!! Hope it goes well.
  3. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Wishing you luck.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Wishing you luck.

    Congratulations!!!!! :hapydancsmil::bravo: to DS!!!!

    Is there a way to talk to her about this before you tell ds, and threaten her to within an inch of her life if she isn't nice to him??
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I hate contests.
    Especially "anyone can enter" contests.
    Because... the results can be skewed so many ways.
    - maybe only a few entered DS's division, so it was easier to win
    - maybe one or two real shining literary stars entered difficult child's division and left everybody else in the dust
    - maybe DS is close to the top of his age-category, and difficult child is in the middle of the pack where there are "senior" individuals entering
    - maybe DS's poem struck a chord with the adjudicators, and difficult child's did not... but that can be a very personal thing and does not reflect on ability or the "value" of the poem.

    Personally? I'd be guessing it's more #4 than anything (and partly #3)
    It's like adjudication in any form of art - I'm more familiar with music, but same issues.
    As you get to more advanced levels, you have to learn "what to present" so that you float higher up the list. There is music (classical) that everybody loves... and that you should never ever play for an adjudicated performance, because... everybody has their own favorite interpretation and you will never know which way the adjudicator wants it.

    So much in life is about learning the "rules" and the "systems"... and those who can do this well, make far better progress than those who do not. Even though the ones who do not... often have more talent.

    So, you can tell difficult child... that I, for one, believe her. I believe that she IS a poet, and has talent that needs to be nurtured. I also believe that those who write to somebody else's rules, are not true artists. Not all winners play the rules... sometimes you get lucky. But it's more important to be true to your own talent.

    (note... this does NOT mean that DS is playing the system... the whole "systems" thing comes more into play the older they get).
  6. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Thank you! Thank you!

    (And thank you, Susie, for the congrats to DS!)


    We explained to both kids that you choose a work to enter in which YOU feel you did your best - something that you are proud to share. How well you do depends upon the other competitors and the preferences of the judges...and those things are not ours to know or control. Your placement in a contest is not a rating of your worth (good or bad) - it is just a mark of how well you were judged in the midst of those particular competitors.

    difficult child *is* a good poet. Her entry was in the top six. (And believe me - there is some STIFF competition in these parts. Many English teachers encourage their students to enter.)

    Unfortunately, prizes only go to the top three.

    So difficult child has nothing to be ashamed of - nor does DS have anything to "gloat" about (although he is very proud!).

    I am very proud of both of them!
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Well sounds like both should be very proud then! I hope difficult child can give a genuine high five to her bro. but since that may not happen at least hoping she can just let it go and let him be happy about his prize.

    Maybe instead of talking to her, talking to DS about how proud he should be and you of course are, but, that he knows his sister, and she may not feel very good about losing so not to worry if she doesn't handle it well. It means nothing about him and he can be happy about the event.....????????
  8. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Top six?
    I'd suggest you come up with a reward for each of them... just getting short-listed is an accomplishment.
  9. keista

    keista New Member

    Wishing you luck the results are received without incident.

    Congrats to DS. Kudos to both of them for entering.
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You can count on my support. DDD
  11. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    They both did so well. You must be very proud. I hope that fact that comes through to difficult child and is enough for her. Just trying is a huge accomplishment. So many kids today couldn't be bothered. -RM
  12. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    My fingers are crossed for you.
  13. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Both kids should be proud of themselves for entering and congrats to DS !!! I sure hope difficult child doesn't flip out ! been there done that too many times to count ... UGH !!

    Please let us know how it goes ...
  14. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Congrats to both of them. Top 6 is nothing to be upset about. That is a great accomplishment. I hope she handles it well.
  15. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Well, only you fellow parents of difficult children will understand this....

    I waited until difficult child got off the bus and saw that she was fairly calm. The I told her that I had some good news / bad news.

    YOUR POEM WAS IN THE TOP SIX!!! I know you don't get a prize for that but TOP SIX!!! WHOO-HOO!!!! I THINK WE SHOULD ALL GO OUT AND CELEBRATE!!! WHOO - HOO!!!

    I could tell by difficult child's face that she was processing this. She *really* thought she was going to win and you could see the disappointment on her face. DS helpfully chimed in that Top Six was AWESOME because he bet that this one particular girl entered and her stuff is practically professional and she pretty much ALWAYS wins so...

    difficult child took the bait and agreed that she couldn't have been expected to win against THAT girl so really.....it's LIKE a win anyway....and besides....we get to go out and celebrate....WHOO-HOO!!!

    But then, you could almost see a dark cloud cross her face and she scowled and asked what about DS?

    Oh well, top three, but - WHOO-HOO!!! WE ARE GOING TO CELEBRATE!!!

    There is always an awards ceremony at the library and all the entrants are invited to present their poems. So we've decided that both kids will read their poems to the audience and then we will take them out for ice cream or something to celebrate. And difficult child seems to be looking forward to it! So....thankfully, crisis averted!


    So now I can be proud....and relieved!



    Thanks so much for all the positive thoughts!!!
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2012
  16. keista

    keista New Member

    YAY! AND difficult child is partaking in and enjoying a wholesome activity! Loving it all.
  17. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Yes - how cool is that???
  18. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Best of luck to you. I hope things go smoothly for you!
  19. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    All I can say is...

    Way To Go, Warrior Mom - well prepped, headed it off...

  20. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Great job!!!