got the school involved......

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hi

    So, i'm sorry i'm eating up the boards lately and thank you so much for everyone's help, thoughts, tips and guidance and calming on this one regarding easy child as of late.

    So, I got the school involved again. We have only met purely on academics, team meetings all last year, etc. Yet I said ok I need help finding a teenage support group thing. I spoke to one of her counselors, he was really nice, and i shared it all and laid it out to him.

    He stated that the way things were done, was not a "loving act" yet more of a servicing of sorts, with the ongoing instructional texts from friends during the it, and he was concerned as I was. To boot the continued failing grades, and now cutting classes. by the way he spotted her today cutting 8th period already!

    So, he's going to help, yea! I find the high school so much easier to deal with than the elementary school here. Their so much more willing to get their hands dirty, and try new appraoches and take responsiblity for these soon to be adults.

    He's going to talk to easy child first to try to gage her and what type of support group would be best for her. Than we'll get the list of names and places and go check them out. He also thought the volunteer work would be good, and the school holds certain things so i may just be able to incorporate it that way. We also discussed the extra cirricular actiivties and he agreed pulling her would be bad, that's a positive and we want to hold onto those right now.

    He said that years prior, at least here this sort of thing was not going on the "oral sex" , he said it's become so much more these past 5 years now. It's what girls do to avoid having regular sex, to please the guy, to "keep" the guy. He counsels a majority of the girls there in her grade. He said well we have a shot if no drugs are being used yet. I said nope i dont' think so, past two drugs tests returned clean.

    So, here's hoping. At least it's a start. It's difficult now with the holidays upon us to get anywhere with stuff, or line it up. This will all have to be implemented after the new year i'm guessing.
     
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That sounds hopeful!! I can't believe you discussed the sex part with him though! But, that's ok- I have heard the same as far as oral becoming the norm for teenagers. Do you think she's willing to pursue other constructive interests- whether it be a support group or volunteer work or anything else?
     
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    klmno i can't believe i discussed it with him either!!! wow me! Yet I spoke to her other guidance couselor the woman with whom she and her don't mesh well and she said "hey you have to be totally upfront about what's going on right now" so he can help her and help you find things for her.

    How will she receive all of this?? probably not well i'm guessing. yet she knows at the end of the day I absolutely adore her and it's in her best interests. I said to her i'Tourette's Syndrome good your hating me right now, that means i'm making some hard good decisions on how to proceed with you. It's when your loving me i question my parenting :)
     
  4. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Jen, the most positive thing you've said and have going for you is the fact you adore and she knows it! You're going to have some very rough patches ahead and she's going to truly hate you. As strange as it sounds, don't take it personally when she does. Much of what she and you are going through really is part of the growing up process. She'll grow up and be your loving daughter again. She just won't be for the next few years.
     
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    The oral sex thing doesn't surprise me in the least. It was going on when I was in highschool 20-"something" years ago. Because of immature reasoning, kids didn't equate it with traditional sex.
     
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    What politician do we have to thank for that one?? LOL that's actually what my Mother mentioned to me. hmmm.....

    I know she will be, and I totally do adore her, its what will get us thru. Once she knows it's out in the open she's going to be totally floored. Looking for my Mom protective gear!!! :)
     
  7. Good for you. Keep us posted on how it goes.

    Christy
     
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