gotta have more of these!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Feb 3, 2011.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I am happy to say that today was a really good day. It wasn't an easy day yet it was a good day.

    i watched myself all day long how i handled her and yea difficult child was def. rough. my approach changing doesnt' totally change her, yet this remove the emotion thing if i can keep it up is awesome.

    she also ate. not alot but consistently. yea she carried on, etc. etc. yet i ignored each and every behavior resulting in her eating. slowly and with alot of liquids yet still this is huge progress!

    easy child, difficult child and i had dinner together zero meltdowns, had the kids share washing dishes and drying together that went well too. i just sat in amazement. we even looked at pics together after.

    difficult child is now downstairs with easy child looking at basement husband and i decided to let easy child take over (it's unfinished) so her and her friends have somewhere to hang out together. they even got a free couch from somewhere. lol

    i just had to share it there has been sooo much negativity. to have a day like today and yea like i said still junk happened. the car broke down lol, dogs peed on floor. yet my approach to it all was different. i just let it roll.

    sat down with difficult child and made a schedule for bedtime and wake up with her. she seemed pleased making it. let's see how implementing will go. we're ordering a bunch of hand held things hard to explain that therapist said to get to assist with sleep when she's laying in bed. i am doing chore list next and letting them pick their chores for the week.

    so far soooo really really good. husband even got up today made me a pot of coffee and drove easy child to school when she ran late and than hung out with-me till 12 and went to work late.

    wish everyday could be this good.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Awesome! What a GREAT day for you! Welcome home! Glad you are finding a less stressful approach for when life happens. :)
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

  4. Jena

    Jena New Member

    ok currently listening to difficult child scream from the room lol. not totally perfect and easy child melted down a little. yet i'm clearly on my way. i've always handled the stress well for someone that has zero support from family and friends except from here and husband when he's not being his needy self. yet it's more about thinking before i react to difficult child regarding this eating thing, and some other let's say not to great behaviors. like right now lol.

    easy child is a whole other thing, going to main board for that..... LOL :)
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    wow and it worked again last night. i don't know why i'm lucking out yet i'm not going to question it. maybe i've changed more than i realize with her. last night she screamed my name a few times i kept that door closed to my bedroom, told her i loved her etc. she'd be fine. same approach i've taken a million times that hasn't worked and boom she went to sleep again.

    i have to say i think the zyprexa is helping. she doesn't seem to obsess as much as before either and it's not an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) medication either. and shes' fighting me yet not as thick as before. here's hoping for continued improvement. this is great actually i dont' even have the team of ppl in yet and i'm getting fairly good response from her so far.

    sure she's fighting each meal time etc. yet by simply ignoring her it's working out well. or redirecting the conversation.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad the new (and not new) methods are working. It seems that zyprexa may just be the right medication to help her. Isn't it just AWESOME when you can combine a medication and techniques to handle behavior and get a good outcome? Esp when the methods were not useful before!!

    I am glad that she is getting sleep now. It can only help her with everything. And help YOU and husband get some sleep too! Heck, with difficult child not screaming for a long time every night maybe easy child can get some sleep and work out her problems better also.

    Thanks for the positive update. Low emotion parenting isn't easy, but it is super helpful at reducing the drama. Screaming into a pillow can help when you just HAVE to scream. It keeps the reward of knowing they upset you and caused more drama and chaos away from the kids.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911

    GLAD to hear there is positive news coming from the Jena house! You need a break!

    -Funny - wonder how many of us have a screaming pillow?
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I am so glad things are feeling better, and you are feeling more empowered. Re-read this post on the days that are not going so well, and know that you have the tools in your arsenal that you need to make this work - you just have to maintain the emotional energy needed to implement them. For me, that was always the hard part - I would just flat run out of emotional energy - and even though I knew what to do - I would crumble out of fatigue. I think it is so important to try and set up as much you time as possible, and really talk to the in home help about how to give you breaks.
  9. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Hope it continues working! Zyprexa held in kiddo's anxiety pretty well, too.
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member

    yea i just keep pulling from areas that are empty at times. i gotta be honest for me transitioning back into this home was hard for me, still is. its' been easier for difficult child which im glad for.

    i was so "on" all the time in portland and i can't find my breaks for here now if that makes sense. last night i slept like 5 hours i'm hoping that tonight will be the night i go down for the count. i have nightmares since i returned home of falling, slipping all sorts of weird junk. i never feel shakey yet the other day i felt shakey. that's when husband stayed in the a.m. for a bit.

    yes i need a break each week more than ever. i dont' care what school tutors can't come or doctor appointments have to be on another day. it's gotta be each week starting this week. otherwise i wont' survive this and get to my eventual goal which is a functional difficult child a repaired easy child and a healthy marriage and a better life.