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Gotta love their way of thinking
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 83881" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Oooh, so sorry...</p><p></p><p>He's not going to register the stuff about counseling or whatever happened b4 he was 9, until he's middle aged ... just a random FYI, LOL!</p><p></p><p>My difficult child did that this a.m., too. But I tried some diff things and it worked out. Yay! I don't know if your difficult child is too old for this kind of thing ...</p><p></p><p>He was waiting for a friend to call and he never called back. I suggested he make his bed and wash a frying pan. You can imagine how well that went over. Generally, that's enough to get him looking for things to do on his own.</p><p></p><p>I then told difficult child to get his backpack so I could check his Friday Folder. (Ea wk's papers get sent home, plus notes, and you sign it.) I have learned not to say, in general, "Give me your backpack," because he'll have a hissy fit like I'm intrusive. So I say something specific--I'd like to see xyz book--and that works out much better. After I got the backpack, inside it, I found a new sudoku puzzle book and asked him to show me how to do it. He said No, but added that he didn't want to do it at the kitchen table, he wanted to sit on the couch in front of the TV.</p><p></p><p>Many moons ago, I would have taken umbrage with-his definitive "No," and the situation would have deteriorated. But this time, I went with-the couch idea, despite his "No," and he actually showed me several puzzles (which I still have a hard time understanding!) and we spent about 20 min. having a good time.</p><p></p><p>I've discovered that "NO" and "I'm bored" are my son's way of talking, no matter what the situation is. They are not carved in stone, they're qualifiers. So now I work around them.</p><p></p><p>He finally decided to call an entirely diff friend, and everything worked out fine.</p><p></p><p>Good luck this weekend! Looks like he'll be underfoot.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 83881, member: 3419"] Oooh, so sorry... He's not going to register the stuff about counseling or whatever happened b4 he was 9, until he's middle aged ... just a random FYI, LOL! My difficult child did that this a.m., too. But I tried some diff things and it worked out. Yay! I don't know if your difficult child is too old for this kind of thing ... He was waiting for a friend to call and he never called back. I suggested he make his bed and wash a frying pan. You can imagine how well that went over. Generally, that's enough to get him looking for things to do on his own. I then told difficult child to get his backpack so I could check his Friday Folder. (Ea wk's papers get sent home, plus notes, and you sign it.) I have learned not to say, in general, "Give me your backpack," because he'll have a hissy fit like I'm intrusive. So I say something specific--I'd like to see xyz book--and that works out much better. After I got the backpack, inside it, I found a new sudoku puzzle book and asked him to show me how to do it. He said No, but added that he didn't want to do it at the kitchen table, he wanted to sit on the couch in front of the TV. Many moons ago, I would have taken umbrage with-his definitive "No," and the situation would have deteriorated. But this time, I went with-the couch idea, despite his "No," and he actually showed me several puzzles (which I still have a hard time understanding!) and we spent about 20 min. having a good time. I've discovered that "NO" and "I'm bored" are my son's way of talking, no matter what the situation is. They are not carved in stone, they're qualifiers. So now I work around them. He finally decided to call an entirely diff friend, and everything worked out fine. Good luck this weekend! Looks like he'll be underfoot. [/QUOTE]
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