grandmother of a 23 year old schizophrenic needs help

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Magsweet, May 3, 2016.

  1. Magsweet

    Magsweet New Member

    I am the grandmother of a 23 year old schizophrenic who has tried to help in every way possible, to no avail. My grandson again was rescued by strangers and taken to the hospital as strangers just happened to come by to find him bleeding, then rushed him to a hospital an hour away from me. I have tried to detach after years of struggling to get him help from psychiatrists, therapists, hospitals, ECT, MRI's, etc. My funds are exhausted. My daughter thinks he is just trying to get attention. He used drugs 6 yrs ago which I think ruined him. He is totally dead inside, no feelings, no desire to live, does not care for himself. He has had horrible experiences with his medications from psychiatrists and none has helped one bit. This article is very helpful for someone who is just self destructive but what about those who are so helpless mentally that someone must take care of them? A person with cancer can find sympathy and a team to help them so why not a person with such limited mentality. He lives alone in an apartment, no one to oversee because everyone has given up on him. I honestly cannot see the benefit to him of having everyone just casting him out their lives. I feel I must be there for him because no one else will. It is so sad to see so many people here suffering the same way; what has happened to our sons, daughters, and grandchildren in this day and age. Society is in denial
     
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  2. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    Hi Magsweet, I am so sorry for your heartache. I'm glad you found us here.
    I do not know that much about schizophrenia but wanted you to know I care. Others will come along and share.
    I would think your grandson would be eligible for social security or other benefits. Perhaps he would be eligible for a nurse to come once or twice a week.

    I think you are correct about society being in denial. People will discuss every topic under the sun but when it comes to mental illness no one wants to talk about it.

    Sending you warm ((HUGS)) tonight......
     
  3. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome, Mag.

    There are services for your grandson, if he is willing to access them. Since he has been diagnosed, he is probably eligible for a group home living situation, and he can get free medical services through the state. He should also qualify for food stamps, SSI, Medicaid, a whole range of things. Is he willing to try? That is the hard part for most of us, getting our mentally ill loved ones to accept what is available for them, and doing what it takes to make it happen.

    Stay with us, Mag.

    Keep posting.

    Apple
     
  4. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    National Alliance for Mentally Ill (NAMI) has been helpful for me, Magsweet. When we love someone who may be mentally ill, one of the hardest things about it is understanding how to help either them or ourselves. There is a NAMI presence in each state, and there are local chapters.

    Here you go, Magsweet.

    https://www.nami.org/

    I am sorry this is happening to your grandson.

    Cedar
     
  5. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Hi Magsweet. Is he on SSI or some kind of governmental aid for mental illness? Does he work? Is he involved with the Adult division of the County Mental Health where he lives?

    County mental health (in USA) will have programs for chronically mentally ill adults where there is some supervision, therapy, help with daily living activities (grooming, eating, etc.), and group activities.

    If he is not safe living alone and cannot take care of himself without supervision (and he is diagnosed as mentally ill, with aid) there is the possibility of living in a board and care home.

    If he cannot take care of himself the government (through Counties) has ways of supplementing the care they can give to themselves. Mothers and grandmothers are not equipped to do this and we will not always be around.
     
  6. so ready to live

    so ready to live Active Member

    Hi Magsweet. Such pain and heartache. We're glad you are here but it's not a fun club.
    Many of us know this feeling...but you have said "funds exhausted" and you sound exhausted also. Mental illness is many times hallmarked by people who become more stable on medications only to have them feel so good that they stop medications "because they are better" so they think. A vicious cycle. I agree with contacting NAMI as soon as possible. He needs help and so do you. Getting services for someone with mental issues can be daunting but could relieve you of so much worry. Hang in there. You are strong-you must be or you couldn't have dealt with it thus far. Do something nice for your self today. Prayers.
     
  7. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    Hi Magsweet and Welcome.

    I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this heartbreak and it appears as you are carrying the load yourself. You are amongst friends here who understand and share your pain of having a loved one with mental illness/addiction ect.. This is a safe place where your battered soul can be at ease and be provided with comfort and guidance from friends. Please return here time and time again and slowly you will learn to heal your wounded heart.

    You need to do something for yourself as most of us have learned that we can't help those we love if we ourselves are falling apart. You are a strong woman but denying yourself simple pleasure will only deny you to see things more clearly and being exhausted 24/7 you will not have the energy you need to function in your own life. I know all too well the voice inside your head that ask, "how can I back away when my grandson doesn't realize he needs help?". I too agree with the others that reaching out to professionals is the way you may want to start. Please take care of yourself. Hugs from me.
     
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