Grandson Update

[mom_to_3]

I thought I'd let you all know that our grandson has been with us for two weeks tomorrow. Everything is working out fine. We've had our moments, but I think we have the kinks worked out now.

Our grandson did have a psychological evaluation done and it stated, ADHD and opposition defiance disorder and to see a psychiatrist for possible medication. At first, we did see the ADHD and the defiance. He acted up on me two times pretty badly when told to sit on the time out stool. It was pretty unbelievable to me as I have never seen that kind of behavior out of him. Grandpa had to step in and give a "man growl" to get things to settle. Whew! We have a pretty structured home life, it's calm and predictable here, he gets three meals, naps, stimulation, exercise, and attention. Last Monday he started daycare and he absolutely LOVES having other children to play with and has done really well there.

Our 4 yr. old grandson wakes up nicely in the mornings, gets his clothes on, puts his jammies in the hamper, makes his bed and comes out to eat. He does this UNSUPERVISED! He takes a nice nap at daycare and.................... goes to bed here at 8pm willingly and with a smile on his face.

This week his diagnosis's are not showing themselves. My husband and I think we may hold off on medication and see how this plays out. Could it be that since his life is calmer, his behaviors are too? He has other issue's but I don't think there is a medication for that. He's been such a loving, good kid and wants so badly to please. He told us that he wants to stay here for ever and ever! I don't know what the future holds, but he really likes it here.

On a sad, angry note................... His mother visited count them ONE TIME (because I hounded her) in two weeks time and has talked to her son on the phone three times. His father????????? Has not visited nor called even once. What losers! Who could do that to a child? I know now.

 

[everywoman]

Glad it's working out. Sometimes love and attention are enough. Sometimes they are not and medication is needed. He could be honeymooning....he could thrive in structure and saneness. I am happy that he is with you. He deserves so much more than the parents life handed him!!! God bless from an adult who thanks God everyday for the grandparents who raised her.

 

[susiestar]

I agree with everything everywoman said, except that I was not raised by my grandparents. I do have a child being raised by my parents, and thank God for them daily. with-o them the other 2 kids could not be safe and sane, and neither could he.

Hugs,

susie

 

[Hound dog]

As long as you're not seeing the behaviors, I'd hold off on the medication. You may discover his dxes are actually the result of the environment he was in instead of being true dxes. It's not like you're ignoring it, more of a holding pattern til it may be needed. Nothing wrong with that.

Glad you've gotten into a groove and things have settled. It sounds as if grandson is flourishing.

As for being raised by grandparents, most of my raising was done by my grandmother. I am who I am because she loved me. I shudder to think of what my life would've been like without her.

(((hugs)))

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

M23, "Goes to bed at 8 pm willingly and with a smile on his face" -- that is outstanding! Sounds like he is thriving with you. The stability of your home and the attention he's receiving seem to have benefitted him a great deal. At two weeks it is still quite new but the signs are good. I agree about taking a wait-and-see approach on medication. Congratulations on the job you are doing with him!

 

[WhymeMom?]

Glad your grandson is blossoming under your care......it's amazing how human behavior can respond to receiving love and attention........hope the progress continues and as far as medications go I agree with your wait and see attitude. No need to mess with them if you can go without......

 

[Star*]

M23

I am glad that your grandson has found a place to be himself with support, love, stability, rules and happiness.

The fact that his mother and father are not in the picture? Since we're old and can actually be a few feet from the situation and see how that could affect him? Sad isn't the word. BUT the fact that he's doing what he should and has you to get him in a routine? I'd hold off on the medications as well.

Maybe some play therapy NOW so he won't have to do it when he's older??? I think he sounds like an awesome little boy!

Sending huge hugs - YOU ARE ONE HECK OF A WOMAN AND THAT husband OF YOURS? bravo g'PA!

 

[witzend]

I'm glad to hear that he is adjusting so well! It sounds like you all are on the right track. I would also be tempted to hold off on medications given the circumstances.

It's a long road, and he's an awfully little boy. I know that you will do a good job keeping him happy and healthy.

 

[Steely]

SO happy for that boy. He is luck to have gparents as amazing as you guys.

Many kids do just need structure and boundaries - and when those are in place - their presumed diagnosis go away.
Have you read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene? I would highly recommend it in parenting a child of special needs.

Hugs.

 

[Abbey]

Ditto, ditto and ditto again.

He's found his groove. It's predicatble, loveable, and makes him happy.

I'm not a doctor, but I would hold off on medications while he is doing well. Maybe he just needed some stability.

Four year old boys can be quite a handful. I'd hate medicating them just for that fact. My oldest was recommended for medications and I said no. Now, at 25, he's a slug.

Energy is good (although it might be annoying). Distructive energy is not. You have to decide which is which.

Abbey