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Substance Abuse
Grateful to read others stories and NarAnon
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 762765" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I wonder if you were at our meeting! Probably not but ours is wonderful and we did have two newcomers on Thursday. At any rate, I also love the Nar Anon literature and this forum is nice but NarAnon is what helped us the most. Helped more than therapy.</p><p></p><p>In NarAnon I learned not to ask myself endlessly why Kay's dysfuncton happened. I will never know. Kay doesn't even really know. It just is. I can't waste time trying to know the unknowable. I realize now that even a two parent, white picket fence, loving family does not guarantee happy kids. In the strange game of life, 1+1 may not equal 2. It could equal 9 or P or ?. Theories about childhood are just theories. A theory could be wrong. This one is OFTEN wrong. A difficult child is NOT our faults. That I learned in Nar Anon. Genetics are stronger than nurture (ask any adoptive parents, especially if they eventually met the birthparent,). Often their child walks, talks and thinks like the parent he has never met. Genetics are shocking and strong. We give ourselves too much credit, good or bad, regarding how our children turn out. We forget about inherited personality traits, the lure of peer pressure, young culture. Tv, and teachers/coaches/ X factors. We forget what WE were like thatb was different from our parents. How did we rebel? How important were our parents to us as we became adults? Did we follow their lead? Or did we fly from the nest on our own journey? Parents are hardly the biggest influence our kids have. So "why" isn't about us and is something we won't ever know. Does it matter,? It takes up too much time in our heads. And there is no answer.</p><p></p><p>in my opinion keep going to Nar Anon. You will progressively get better. There is continuity and comforting structure in NarAnon. The members become friends. Most members report feeling better (not cured but better) early in their arrival.</p><p></p><p>This particular online forum is a source too but it is not that consistant. It is random, depending on who wants to post and when. I hear it used to be a lot busier. It in my opinion is not enough to give us real relief fast enough and we all need relief. Not years from now either. Years is wasted time. So use this, but Nar Anon is predictably there 24/7. Even on Christmas there are meetings. Some people go to five meeting a week. It's up to you. It is always there. I love that.</p><p></p><p>I hope you keep going to Nar Anon. My meeting is Thursday at 6:30. Probably was not the meeting you went to....but if it was....wow!!!</p><p></p><p>Love and hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 762765, member: 1550"] I wonder if you were at our meeting! Probably not but ours is wonderful and we did have two newcomers on Thursday. At any rate, I also love the Nar Anon literature and this forum is nice but NarAnon is what helped us the most. Helped more than therapy. In NarAnon I learned not to ask myself endlessly why Kay's dysfuncton happened. I will never know. Kay doesn't even really know. It just is. I can't waste time trying to know the unknowable. I realize now that even a two parent, white picket fence, loving family does not guarantee happy kids. In the strange game of life, 1+1 may not equal 2. It could equal 9 or P or ?. Theories about childhood are just theories. A theory could be wrong. This one is OFTEN wrong. A difficult child is NOT our faults. That I learned in Nar Anon. Genetics are stronger than nurture (ask any adoptive parents, especially if they eventually met the birthparent,). Often their child walks, talks and thinks like the parent he has never met. Genetics are shocking and strong. We give ourselves too much credit, good or bad, regarding how our children turn out. We forget about inherited personality traits, the lure of peer pressure, young culture. Tv, and teachers/coaches/ X factors. We forget what WE were like thatb was different from our parents. How did we rebel? How important were our parents to us as we became adults? Did we follow their lead? Or did we fly from the nest on our own journey? Parents are hardly the biggest influence our kids have. So "why" isn't about us and is something we won't ever know. Does it matter,? It takes up too much time in our heads. And there is no answer. in my opinion keep going to Nar Anon. You will progressively get better. There is continuity and comforting structure in NarAnon. The members become friends. Most members report feeling better (not cured but better) early in their arrival. This particular online forum is a source too but it is not that consistant. It is random, depending on who wants to post and when. I hear it used to be a lot busier. It in my opinion is not enough to give us real relief fast enough and we all need relief. Not years from now either. Years is wasted time. So use this, but Nar Anon is predictably there 24/7. Even on Christmas there are meetings. Some people go to five meeting a week. It's up to you. It is always there. I love that. I hope you keep going to Nar Anon. My meeting is Thursday at 6:30. Probably was not the meeting you went to....but if it was....wow!!! Love and hugs. [/QUOTE]
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