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Grateful to read others stories and NarAnon
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 762768" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I wonder perhaps if you are getting too involved in the adult man you are addicted to, your son. Think about it! So what if he has to live without WiFi? A tragedy?? So what is his grandma is 81? So what if he's scared if bugs. Really? It's time he get over that...he is not a child. We forget they are not kids. Too often we see the child when they are adults. It's a bad habit we need to break. They are tall with hair in their faces. They have muscles. They are grown.</p><p></p><p>Because of his own choices he is LUCKY to live in a house and not in the streets. Even a home that had an outhouse would be lucky. The fact is that if you don't work consistently, stay sober always, and follow societal norms your life then your life WILL be horrible. Your son still has a place to stay and people willing to drive him to work. That will not last if he doesn't change his ways. People, including you, may get tired of doing anything for him if he won't help himself... five years down the line you will be in a different place, trust me. So I consider your son very lucky right.now.</p><p></p><p>If you keep going to NarAnon and work the program it does work. You only went.once and are still addicted to your son's chaos. The relief for us comes when we realize that hmtheir problems are NOT ours and that it doesn't help to help.</p><p></p><p> As long as we do not realize for certain that we can't help or change our addict, we suffer and keep playing the useless fix it game. I put ten years into the fix it game. It is not winnable. It put me on medications. I almost lost my husband and other kids. Kay did not get better or appreciate how I never gave up.</p><p></p><p>I cheer you on as you ease toward letting go and giving your son to God. God can do what you can't. This Walmart job is your son's issue. His not having wifi with grandma is a big "so what?" Grandma is 81? She is a person who lioves him. He is very lucky to have someone like her. How dare he complain.</p><p></p><p>At his age the only person who can give him the life he wants is himself. So your sweating is a waste of time. Every time you start sweating, change your thoughts. Watch a comedy. Call a friend. Go out for coffee. Window shop. Meditate. Pray. Work out. Every time you addictively focus on your son do something that breaks your addiction. Refuse to think about the son you are addicted to! I do this!</p><p></p><p>This is from Nar Anon and it's true: "I can choose what to think." "I can change my thoughts." Do you have SESH book yet?</p><p></p><p>by the way I am an empath but we still have to take care of ourselves.</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 762768, member: 1550"] I wonder perhaps if you are getting too involved in the adult man you are addicted to, your son. Think about it! So what if he has to live without WiFi? A tragedy?? So what is his grandma is 81? So what if he's scared if bugs. Really? It's time he get over that...he is not a child. We forget they are not kids. Too often we see the child when they are adults. It's a bad habit we need to break. They are tall with hair in their faces. They have muscles. They are grown. Because of his own choices he is LUCKY to live in a house and not in the streets. Even a home that had an outhouse would be lucky. The fact is that if you don't work consistently, stay sober always, and follow societal norms your life then your life WILL be horrible. Your son still has a place to stay and people willing to drive him to work. That will not last if he doesn't change his ways. People, including you, may get tired of doing anything for him if he won't help himself... five years down the line you will be in a different place, trust me. So I consider your son very lucky right.now. If you keep going to NarAnon and work the program it does work. You only went.once and are still addicted to your son's chaos. The relief for us comes when we realize that hmtheir problems are NOT ours and that it doesn't help to help. As long as we do not realize for certain that we can't help or change our addict, we suffer and keep playing the useless fix it game. I put ten years into the fix it game. It is not winnable. It put me on medications. I almost lost my husband and other kids. Kay did not get better or appreciate how I never gave up. I cheer you on as you ease toward letting go and giving your son to God. God can do what you can't. This Walmart job is your son's issue. His not having wifi with grandma is a big "so what?" Grandma is 81? She is a person who lioves him. He is very lucky to have someone like her. How dare he complain. At his age the only person who can give him the life he wants is himself. So your sweating is a waste of time. Every time you start sweating, change your thoughts. Watch a comedy. Call a friend. Go out for coffee. Window shop. Meditate. Pray. Work out. Every time you addictively focus on your son do something that breaks your addiction. Refuse to think about the son you are addicted to! I do this! This is from Nar Anon and it's true: "I can choose what to think." "I can change my thoughts." Do you have SESH book yet? by the way I am an empath but we still have to take care of ourselves. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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