TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
I went to the child psychiatric dr today with-easy child. She had her say. She really needed to be heard. I took up a lot of time the other day just filling in the dr. with-info and nothing was really resolved. Today the dr. came up with-some concrete suggestions. (I will post these on the watecooler, too, since I had posted about husband there.)
The dr suggested that until summer camp happens (it's too much of a rush to do a placement in Sept., get a loan, etc., and we still don't know exactly what we want) we rotate one person out of the house for breaks on a regular basis, just for our own mental health. It can be a visit to a friend's house overnight, a diff. city, etc. Ea person needs his/her own time and space and a break from difficult child. He liked the idea of camp and/or boarding school because it would place difficult child in a highly controlled, professional environment, and we have reached an impasse, where we have all made enormous strides, but for whatever reason, difficult child just cannot see his impact on others and his changes seemed to have plateau'd.
He needs huge consequences, not the things we are doing, aka no computer (i.e. Big Hairy Deal ... no real impact there. A yr ago, I saw a post here where a mom said she felt she wasn't doing any good by sending her son to his rm for discipline, because he had so many toys, it was like saying, "You're in Time Out. Go to Disney World!" LOL.)
He also said husband has to cut back on his activities such as speeches, weekend activities, etc. and be much more hands-on with-difficult child, which will give difficult child more male authority (sorry to be chauvinistic but it's true in this case, because difficult child does not respect me or many other women), and it will give husband more one-on-one time with-difficult child, which will be good for both of them.
He said he thinks we can find a local military school that may accept ADHD kids (which is a slight departure from what he said b4, because he was thinking it was totally ADHD/ODD but he is now seeing that difficult child CAN control himself in certain situations and needs more training and constant reinforcement.)
He said we were clearly running out of steam and he didn't want us to get to the point where difficult child's 16 and we just let him take over.
easy child felt much better about it and said it was very productive.
By coincidence, husband suggested that I p/u difficult child from school and take him straight to the ofc, where husband would keep him busy (he loves the shredder), and then he'd take him to some mtng tonight with-free food. Don't know if that's where they went but they should be home any min.
I will drop difficult child off at the ofc tomorrow afternoon, too.
Then I get a turn, taking him to his baseball game Sat, which I like doing because it's the one high point of difficult child's life.
If we can keep husband in the action like this it will really help.
I have not had a chance to broach the subject of a nanny or live-in with-husband yet. I will do that tonight. I can pretty much guarantee he'll nix it.
I'm having lunch with-S tomorrow, our carpool friend who has an autistic son. She had a morning nanny who helps get her autistic son ready for the bus in the a.m. She gets her 4th grader ready, as well as herself (she's a dentist) and she feeds the dog and cat, etc. We will talk a blue streak! I am so grateful.
The dr suggested that until summer camp happens (it's too much of a rush to do a placement in Sept., get a loan, etc., and we still don't know exactly what we want) we rotate one person out of the house for breaks on a regular basis, just for our own mental health. It can be a visit to a friend's house overnight, a diff. city, etc. Ea person needs his/her own time and space and a break from difficult child. He liked the idea of camp and/or boarding school because it would place difficult child in a highly controlled, professional environment, and we have reached an impasse, where we have all made enormous strides, but for whatever reason, difficult child just cannot see his impact on others and his changes seemed to have plateau'd.
He needs huge consequences, not the things we are doing, aka no computer (i.e. Big Hairy Deal ... no real impact there. A yr ago, I saw a post here where a mom said she felt she wasn't doing any good by sending her son to his rm for discipline, because he had so many toys, it was like saying, "You're in Time Out. Go to Disney World!" LOL.)
He also said husband has to cut back on his activities such as speeches, weekend activities, etc. and be much more hands-on with-difficult child, which will give difficult child more male authority (sorry to be chauvinistic but it's true in this case, because difficult child does not respect me or many other women), and it will give husband more one-on-one time with-difficult child, which will be good for both of them.
He said he thinks we can find a local military school that may accept ADHD kids (which is a slight departure from what he said b4, because he was thinking it was totally ADHD/ODD but he is now seeing that difficult child CAN control himself in certain situations and needs more training and constant reinforcement.)
He said we were clearly running out of steam and he didn't want us to get to the point where difficult child's 16 and we just let him take over.
easy child felt much better about it and said it was very productive.
By coincidence, husband suggested that I p/u difficult child from school and take him straight to the ofc, where husband would keep him busy (he loves the shredder), and then he'd take him to some mtng tonight with-free food. Don't know if that's where they went but they should be home any min.
I will drop difficult child off at the ofc tomorrow afternoon, too.
Then I get a turn, taking him to his baseball game Sat, which I like doing because it's the one high point of difficult child's life.
If we can keep husband in the action like this it will really help.
I have not had a chance to broach the subject of a nanny or live-in with-husband yet. I will do that tonight. I can pretty much guarantee he'll nix it.
I'm having lunch with-S tomorrow, our carpool friend who has an autistic son. She had a morning nanny who helps get her autistic son ready for the bus in the a.m. She gets her 4th grader ready, as well as herself (she's a dentist) and she feeds the dog and cat, etc. We will talk a blue streak! I am so grateful.
