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General Parenting
grieving loss of future dreams...
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<blockquote data-quote="tryinghard" data-source="post: 153284" data-attributes="member: 4570"><p>I am so sorry for your hurting heart.</p><p> </p><p>I really really really (I could type really a millon more times and it would be an understatement) believed that I would have perfect (could type perfect two million times) children. My husband and I are very high achievers, very successful, have lots of friends........</p><p> </p><p>So, when I got pregnant I did everything right...slept well, exercized, took prenatal vitamins before I got pregnant (you got the picture!) I did everything "by the book".</p><p> </p><p>Oh yeah...let's talk about books and magazines!! I read them ALL! I even cut out articles that applied to future things and saved them.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, I was going to have PERFECT children!!! Smart, cute, well behaved, good at sports (my husband played professional football)....</p><p> </p><p>Guess what I found out....almost from the time they were both a few days old.....they are their only little people, with their own genetic makeup and they are far from perfect!</p><p> </p><p>It took me until a few years ago to let go of the "what did I do" "why me" "why them" and celebrate just who they are. They are my children and i am their mom! I do the best I can everyday to help them and they decide what they want to listen to and what they do not! I have told them both they are in control of their life. I am here to give them directional advise and they make the decisions where to go.</p><p> </p><p>I HAVE SPENT MANY DAYS AND NIGHTS CRYING AND CRYING. This year I have resolved no to wallow in what is wrong but focus on what is right. Even if that is ONLY one thing.</p><p> </p><p>For this Mother's Day (and every day going forward) I wish you peace in your heart. You and husband are wonderful people to have opened your hearts and homes to your two children. It sounds like you are a GREAT parent and love them with all your heart. The only way for your heart to hurt is if you care!</p><p> </p><p>Our lives are so complicated and challenged compared to many others....and so blessed compared to some others. I wish I knew why...</p><p> </p><p>I know this is a little pollyannyish...but I have felt much better since I have adopted this attitude.</p><p> </p><p>Peace and Love to you...HUGS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryinghard, post: 153284, member: 4570"] I am so sorry for your hurting heart. I really really really (I could type really a millon more times and it would be an understatement) believed that I would have perfect (could type perfect two million times) children. My husband and I are very high achievers, very successful, have lots of friends........ So, when I got pregnant I did everything right...slept well, exercized, took prenatal vitamins before I got pregnant (you got the picture!) I did everything "by the book". Oh yeah...let's talk about books and magazines!! I read them ALL! I even cut out articles that applied to future things and saved them. Yes, I was going to have PERFECT children!!! Smart, cute, well behaved, good at sports (my husband played professional football).... Guess what I found out....almost from the time they were both a few days old.....they are their only little people, with their own genetic makeup and they are far from perfect! It took me until a few years ago to let go of the "what did I do" "why me" "why them" and celebrate just who they are. They are my children and i am their mom! I do the best I can everyday to help them and they decide what they want to listen to and what they do not! I have told them both they are in control of their life. I am here to give them directional advise and they make the decisions where to go. I HAVE SPENT MANY DAYS AND NIGHTS CRYING AND CRYING. This year I have resolved no to wallow in what is wrong but focus on what is right. Even if that is ONLY one thing. For this Mother's Day (and every day going forward) I wish you peace in your heart. You and husband are wonderful people to have opened your hearts and homes to your two children. It sounds like you are a GREAT parent and love them with all your heart. The only way for your heart to hurt is if you care! Our lives are so complicated and challenged compared to many others....and so blessed compared to some others. I wish I knew why... I know this is a little pollyannyish...but I have felt much better since I have adopted this attitude. Peace and Love to you...HUGS [/QUOTE]
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