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General Parenting
grieving loss of future dreams...
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 153444" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>Oh hun...I can just feel the hurt in your post. I have a feeling most of us have had our dreams for those tiny babies we held long ago dashed into a million pieces. But I do want to give you some encouragement. I could have been your child...or most of the kids on this board. I spanned the board in my difficult child activities until I was a young adult. Oh yeah, I stole, was rebellious, promiscuous, defiant...etc. I am sure that my parents had dreams of me graduating high school, going off to a prestigious university (I got a 1350 on my SAT), marrying a nice man, buying a nice house and having 2.5 kids and a dog. </p><p>I couldnt see those dreams for me until it was far too late. I had 3 kids by two different guys...and only married the first one because I was scared. That didnt work out too well...lol. I did end up meeting the guy I live with now...father to my last two kids...when I was 21. I ended up getting my GED and going to college in my 20s. I never had that lovely wedding most parents dream of seeing. </p><p></p><p>But you know what, I have accomplished a lot even though I messed up early on. I am disabled now but I had a career I really loved. I have raised my kids to the best of my ability. My kids all adore me. I have two grand daughters who are the apple's of my eye. I do think I made some dreams come true. Maybe they werent the ones my parents imagined but maybe these dreams were more realistic for me. I will always have problems and limitations because of my mental and physical problems but that is ok. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes we just have to look to the child to mature a bit and see what dreams they can make for themselves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 153444, member: 1514"] Oh hun...I can just feel the hurt in your post. I have a feeling most of us have had our dreams for those tiny babies we held long ago dashed into a million pieces. But I do want to give you some encouragement. I could have been your child...or most of the kids on this board. I spanned the board in my difficult child activities until I was a young adult. Oh yeah, I stole, was rebellious, promiscuous, defiant...etc. I am sure that my parents had dreams of me graduating high school, going off to a prestigious university (I got a 1350 on my SAT), marrying a nice man, buying a nice house and having 2.5 kids and a dog. I couldnt see those dreams for me until it was far too late. I had 3 kids by two different guys...and only married the first one because I was scared. That didnt work out too well...lol. I did end up meeting the guy I live with now...father to my last two kids...when I was 21. I ended up getting my GED and going to college in my 20s. I never had that lovely wedding most parents dream of seeing. But you know what, I have accomplished a lot even though I messed up early on. I am disabled now but I had a career I really loved. I have raised my kids to the best of my ability. My kids all adore me. I have two grand daughters who are the apple's of my eye. I do think I made some dreams come true. Maybe they werent the ones my parents imagined but maybe these dreams were more realistic for me. I will always have problems and limitations because of my mental and physical problems but that is ok. Sometimes we just have to look to the child to mature a bit and see what dreams they can make for themselves. [/QUOTE]
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