husband's sister A, whose daughter L that we have never met is to be married in the fall 100 miles from home and they wanted us to drive stinky grandma because they didn't want to include her until the last minute, called this morning to say she wanted to invite us to her birthday party this weekend. You might remember that their sister in law T made a big stink (pardon the pun) when I told A wouldn't attend. "Don't even bother sending a present!" "Obviously you don't care about family!" Drama, drama, drama. I apologized profusely - I hadn't meant to offend, we heard nothing back from anyone. Oh, well. No skin off my nose. Anyway, I told A I was a little uncomfortable about seeing T there, and she said, "Oh, don't worry, T's forgiven you." What? I told her I was glad that T had done so, although I couldn't tell what it was I was to be forgiven for, and that I was awaiting an apology or at least an acknowledgment from T and not certain I was welcome within the group. It went downhill from there. She demanded that I give her husband's cell phone number and needed to call him right now at work. I told her to call at home tonight when he was here. She called me sick and controlling. I told her she should have a nice birthday, and she could see if she could work something out with husband. I swear to you that I have spent the last 28 years trying to make husband have at least a somewhat cordial relationship with his family; forcing him to buy Mother's Day and Christmas gifts, inviting them to celebrations and holidays only to be told "we have other plans", which by the way is what T told me I should have said about why we couldn't attend the wedding rather than "we've never met your daughter and won't be traveling but will send a gift instead." That was before we learned that they were spending an entire week at the resort and not including their mom, their big goal was for us to bring mom. This time I did send A a note saying that I have nothing to apologize for, that I didn't appreciate being called names, and that I was done trying to make husband have a healthy relationship with his family. If he forgets mom on holidays from now on, it's because I stopped telling him he had to do something for her. I'm done! Then I blocked their email addresses from my servers, took them out of all of my databases, and that's the end of that.