GRRRRRRRRR Beware A Vent

[Hound dog]

You know, I've put up with alot of major **** out of husband for the past 25 yrs. I made excuses for about the first 2/3s of the marriage. The first 1/3 of it I was blind to alot of it.

Now I wonder what I ever saw in him.

The man digusts me. He makes me furious. I don't like talking to him. I don't like being in the same house with him. He's a rotten husband, and an even worse father.

He is being a major horse's arse over the whole stepdau issue. Oh, he likes hearing the news, but then he's all........I'm never forgiving her. I never want to talk to her again. I don't ever want anything to do with her again bs.

I'd like to say that K hurt him when she left. But I seriously doubt it. I've doubted he gave a darn even at the time. As soon as husband figured out not pretending to be the perfect Daddy didn't have conscequences with his parents.......K was out of sight out of mind. I made him call her. I made the visitation happen. I made sure the child support got paid. I made sure she got xmas and birthday gifts. And even when she visited, he never spent any time with her.

In all honesty, husband isn't any better with the kids here either. If he's not accusing them of something stupid, he ignores them. He has a tantrum if I'm watching the grands, or invite the kids over. He has a fit if I go do something with them. I could go on and on.

easy child told me not long ago she suspects her Dad is schizophrenic. When I look at hiim objectively........as I've been able to the past 6+ yrs now, I can see that it's highly possible. And I just don't care. I'm sick of the antisocial behavior. I'm sick of the I know everything about everything. I'm sick of the grumpy old man routine to the nth degree I've put up with since he was 35 yrs old. I'm sick of the hypochondria. Sick of the laziness, not wanting to work, not paying the bills (yes that's started again), making money disappear, and sneaking to borrow form payday loan places. husband cares for no one except himself. Period. He is the center of his universe.

The difficult child who never grew up.

And before my well meaning board family tells me to get rid of husband........I'm in the process and have been. That's why I'm in school. The SOB owes me that much just for sticking 25 yrs to the most one sided marriage in history.

In just a few minutes I'm going to call this man's daughter he hasn't seen or talked to in 6 years. I'm going to talk to his first born who may not even be alive come this same time next year. And he throws a tantrum. He's smart enough not to tell me I can't do what I want as far as K is concerned. But that doesn't stop him from being a major arse when there is something going on that involves her.

easy child and I've both talked to neuro back here. The behaviors and symptoms she displayed while here are consistant with her condition. She is no difficult child. We were wrong.

Now I'm calling her. husband can go straight to h*ll.

 

[flutterbee]

Tell him you have a lawn that needs mowed and he'd be wise to get out there and do it and leave you the hell alone about this. The last thing K needs is hearing her dad being a major - well, I can't say - in the background.

(((hugs)))

 

[susiestar]

I am so sorry. I hate hate hate that heis being so terrible. I am so very sorry that your daughter is sick. Get him OUT of the house to do a chore while you call. Or send him to the store or somesuch.

sending hugs for all of you, including your daughter.

 

[mom_to_3]

I'm sorry he's being a jerk too! Grrrr! I would NOT shoo him out of the house. Why should YOU have to play any games in your own home? I would never even have a discussion with him that allowed this kind of talk. I would stand right next to him and make that phone call. I would bet money that he shuts his trap! Bullies, bully in private. He probably doesn't have the b***s to speak that way when his daughter can hear him. And if he does..... she has a right to know and hear with her own ears who her father really is. I don't think he will. By doing this, he has to *OWN* his own behavior. The less talking you do the better. You know he knows better and doesn't act this way in public or at his job. I wouldn't allow it in my home or around me either and the way to do that is to EXPOSE him. I think he'll striaghten up right away. Good luck!

 

[TerryJ2]

You are right to stay in school. Way To Go.

I feel your anger emanating from the screen. Whew. He does sound like a piece of work.

So, was easy child having PTSD? And she's fine now? I'm missing something.

Anyway, please try to stay calm and stay away from your husband. You owe yourself good health and normal blood pressure. Take care.

 

[Hound dog]

Terry easy child and I talked to two different neuro's back here about K's diagnosis. The symptoms and behaviors caused by the neuro condition she has (none of us knew she had it 6 yrs ago) had K classified as a difficult child. We suspected drug use or severe mental illness. We were wrong, it was the chiari malformation. That and after speaking with K over a longish period.......she's returned to easy child statis. A horrible misunderstanding due to miscommunication of all parties.

Hence husband being a major arse because he refused to admit being wrong.

However, after the phone call I lit into him again. I was far from kind. After much "talking" he was forced to admit he was wrong. (we all were) And he is now open to communicating with her and the grands.

Sincere? Who knows? He's a good actor when he wants to be. But if it will make K feel better to believe her Dad has forgiven her, that's all that matters to me. He can fake it all he wants.