Hi everyone...read a lot of your posts this morning and I think I'm in the right place, unfortunately.
Our story now varies a LOT from where we were six years or so ago...six, seven years ago we had a typical teenager, graduated high school, ready to start college... at 17, decided he'd move in with his dad, which had never been in his life since the age of two...found out that there were rules and regulations at dad's house, just like at our place, didn't like rules and stuff, so moved out on his own.
I don't want to get into all the particulars of the next few years, but will give you the highlights--he spent over ten grand in less than six months in his first few months on his own, starting working various jobs, started going to college, moved back and forth, got involved with a girl, got married, had an abortion, broke up, all in the span of less than a year, came back home a few months ago with a serious pot addiction, an attitude problem, and just as lazy and shiftless as he wanted to be at fourteen.... we encouraged him to get back into school, get on with his life, but the thing is, his attitude has changed so much.....
He decided he would go back to school, but also made another decision...he's not going to work. Apparently work interferes with getting high (he told me he can't get a job because they'll drug test him...you think?)... so he figured he'd just go to school and live off his student loans (despite it not being enough money, despite me and dad telling him it's not enough money and won't work)...In the past few months now, he's bounced from couch to couch of anyone who will take him in, use them for however long they'll tolerate him... was selling drugs to make money, now is no longer doing that (dealer cut him off)...and is broke, has now dropped out of school, and called me the other day to tell me he doesn't know what to do anymore, so he's going to kill himself.
I told him he needs to get his head out of his rear end and get a job...I didn't respond to the suicide threat...actually I expected the threat, and told my husband so when he called the last time, trying to emotionally blackmail us out of more money. We're done throwing money at him.. he uses it for whatever and not for what he needs to use it for. The last time he lived here, my nerves were so shot, I had lost 20 lbs. and I was ready to go to the doctor and medicate!
Guess I just need the support of knowing I'm not alone. There are a lot of kids like mine out there...and plenty of parents like us, who tried to provide a good example of how to be a responsible adult in this world, but whose children are hell-bent, literally and figuratively, on doing things their own way, no matter how ignorant, misguided, or delusional they may be....
The worry is horrible...like a big black cloud in the pit of my stomach, always there, always... worried now that he may actually do something stupid to up the ante further... but he's 24 years old, and he's got to figure out his way, doesn't he? We all did...
Our story now varies a LOT from where we were six years or so ago...six, seven years ago we had a typical teenager, graduated high school, ready to start college... at 17, decided he'd move in with his dad, which had never been in his life since the age of two...found out that there were rules and regulations at dad's house, just like at our place, didn't like rules and stuff, so moved out on his own.
I don't want to get into all the particulars of the next few years, but will give you the highlights--he spent over ten grand in less than six months in his first few months on his own, starting working various jobs, started going to college, moved back and forth, got involved with a girl, got married, had an abortion, broke up, all in the span of less than a year, came back home a few months ago with a serious pot addiction, an attitude problem, and just as lazy and shiftless as he wanted to be at fourteen.... we encouraged him to get back into school, get on with his life, but the thing is, his attitude has changed so much.....
He decided he would go back to school, but also made another decision...he's not going to work. Apparently work interferes with getting high (he told me he can't get a job because they'll drug test him...you think?)... so he figured he'd just go to school and live off his student loans (despite it not being enough money, despite me and dad telling him it's not enough money and won't work)...In the past few months now, he's bounced from couch to couch of anyone who will take him in, use them for however long they'll tolerate him... was selling drugs to make money, now is no longer doing that (dealer cut him off)...and is broke, has now dropped out of school, and called me the other day to tell me he doesn't know what to do anymore, so he's going to kill himself.
I told him he needs to get his head out of his rear end and get a job...I didn't respond to the suicide threat...actually I expected the threat, and told my husband so when he called the last time, trying to emotionally blackmail us out of more money. We're done throwing money at him.. he uses it for whatever and not for what he needs to use it for. The last time he lived here, my nerves were so shot, I had lost 20 lbs. and I was ready to go to the doctor and medicate!
Guess I just need the support of knowing I'm not alone. There are a lot of kids like mine out there...and plenty of parents like us, who tried to provide a good example of how to be a responsible adult in this world, but whose children are hell-bent, literally and figuratively, on doing things their own way, no matter how ignorant, misguided, or delusional they may be....
The worry is horrible...like a big black cloud in the pit of my stomach, always there, always... worried now that he may actually do something stupid to up the ante further... but he's 24 years old, and he's got to figure out his way, doesn't he? We all did...
