Guess what I get for Christmas?

[muttmeister]

A difficult child in jail till February. difficult child#2 was on probation (long story: some of you will remember - wife said he elbowed her in the eye by accident; then was mad about something else so called the cops and said it was on purpose; then changed her story again and admitted it was an accident but it was too late to have charges dropped then). He refused to comply' didn't go to AA or NA, didn't go to rehab, etc., etc., etc. So his probation was revoked. I have no problem with that; natural consequences....it's about time he learned them. BUT, with three little kids, ages barely 4,
2 1/2, and 2 months, I think it's more punishment for her than for him.
So it looks like grandma will be doing lots more babysitting. Really, not my favorite thing.
They just can't keep from skrewing themselves and everybody around them, can they?

 

[susiestar]

I'm sorry. It is a shame that the kids and everyone else gets skrewed along with him. It may actually be worse for the rest of you than for him. Poor kids.

 

[meowbunny]

Okay, I'm mean and vindictive. Given that it wouldn't have happened had wifey told the truth and not accused him of abuse, I'd tell her to find another way to take care of her kids. I'd be willing to sit the amount of time I would have pre-arrest but nothing extra. Sorry, she put herself in this situation. Why should you get her out of her mess?

 

[Wiped Out]

So sorry to hear this. Hugs to you and the grandkids.

 

[flutterbee]

So sorry.

 

[muttmeister]

meowbunny- I was mad at daughter in law but I just got done giving difficult child a lecture when he tried to tell me it was all her fault. What I told him is that, yes, it was her fault that he was on probation but it was HIS fault that he chose not to obey the provisions of that probation. And if I don't babysit she can't even go to the grocery store as all three kids won't fit in their car. We live in a town of under 300 people and she has no friends or relatives so, even if she could get the money to hire a babysitter, there isn't one. So, I either bite the bullet and step up or else I punish the kids too.

 

[Hound dog]

I'm so sorry everyone else is being punished right along with difficult child. That really stinks.

I understand where you're coming from helping daughter in law. But I agree with MB. Oh, I'd babsit, but I'd make darn sure it was only when vitally necessary. Out of curiousity, why won't 3 kids fit into her car?? I drove 3 kids around in a teeny metro with carseats and all forever....even managed to fit 3 teens in the back of the darn thing. lol

I guess I'm mean. But the way I see it, she's just as much to blame. If she hadn't said he did it on purpose because she was mad........well, he wouldn't be there. She needs to learn what you say, even in anger, can come back and bite you in the arse.

Not saying you shouldn't help her at all. Just that I'd be making darn sure it's something she can't manage herself first.

((hugs))

 

[muttmeister]

It's a fairly small Buick; even the oldest one is not big enough to legally use a booster seat and all three car seats will not fit in the backseat of the car no matter how you try to wedge them in.
There really is more to the story. I'm not 100% sure what happened with her black eye; if it was an accident or not. I hope so, but difficult child does not treat her as he should in any case. She is not who I would have picked for a daughter in law but she is a good mother and she has put up with more from difficult child than I would have. I swore that, as a mother in law, I would keep my mouth shut and that's what I'm going to do.

 

[Abbey]

Good advice, Mutt. Mouth shut. The only thing you need to watch for is the grand kids. They're not old enough to make choices. Your son and daughter in law are...consequences happen.

It's hard to watch it all happen.

Abbey

 

[goldenguru]

I understand your need to help out with-the kids. Just remember that you are making a HUGE investment into their lives.

Hopefully, both adult learn some very needed lessons.

 

[Star*]

Well I wanted a sweater for Christmas -

All I'm getting is a moaner........(ohhhh my knees, Ohhhhh my back)

Knowing you always do the best you can I'm sure the grands will need you more than ever - with Dad at day care.

Hugs