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<blockquote data-quote="jcs" data-source="post: 223998" data-attributes="member: 6482"><p>Well, after seeking counsel with a few different sources my wife and I created a non-negotiable - zero tolerance list for my sons return. He told us that he would like to come back home. We met with him at a restaurant and was 'stone cold sober' - an impression that my pastor told us we need to exhibit-poker face if you will. He asked for our help. We had a good meeting. Did not pull any punches and told him to live in our house was a privilege not a right. For the first time in an awful long time he had remorse in his face. He tried to barter with some of the rules but we stood steadfast. We then told him to think about it for a day. (Hard part-I told him he couldn't come home for at least another day). We wanted to make sure he truly understood that we were changing the song and dance routine. He came home yesterday BUT he did not accomplish the first non-negotiable rule--that being an apology to his sister. I told him without this he could not stay. What he wrote to her BLEW me away. There was REMORSE in his words. Something that he has NEVER really done before. I know it's only a baby step but at least it's a step in I think the right direction. He has said that he had an appointment with an Air Force recruiter this Friday. I know I am rambling on but THANK YOU to all of you who replied to my fears... One day at a time. I am also going to seek counseling after the first of the year to address some of my weeknesses. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all. John</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jcs, post: 223998, member: 6482"] Well, after seeking counsel with a few different sources my wife and I created a non-negotiable - zero tolerance list for my sons return. He told us that he would like to come back home. We met with him at a restaurant and was 'stone cold sober' - an impression that my pastor told us we need to exhibit-poker face if you will. He asked for our help. We had a good meeting. Did not pull any punches and told him to live in our house was a privilege not a right. For the first time in an awful long time he had remorse in his face. He tried to barter with some of the rules but we stood steadfast. We then told him to think about it for a day. (Hard part-I told him he couldn't come home for at least another day). We wanted to make sure he truly understood that we were changing the song and dance routine. He came home yesterday BUT he did not accomplish the first non-negotiable rule--that being an apology to his sister. I told him without this he could not stay. What he wrote to her BLEW me away. There was REMORSE in his words. Something that he has NEVER really done before. I know it's only a baby step but at least it's a step in I think the right direction. He has said that he had an appointment with an Air Force recruiter this Friday. I know I am rambling on but THANK YOU to all of you who replied to my fears... One day at a time. I am also going to seek counseling after the first of the year to address some of my weeknesses. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all. John [/QUOTE]
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