Ha ha. I love the way this works.

[Shari]

easy child 2/difficult child has never been allowed to have friends over at her mom's.

Seriously, I think she was allowed to have 1 friend attend her family birthday party for an hour or so once. She's never had anyone spend the night.

Last year, we let her have a birthday party. She had 8 or 9 girls over. They spent the night and had a ball.

I just got an email from her mom. She wants to trade weekends in April so she can have a birthday party with friends over (when she doesn't have to deal with her step-kids at the same time).

ROFLMAO

Seriously. This has been going on FOR YEARS. We asked to take easy child 2/difficult child with us to my company picnic on a Friday that wasn't our usual weekend 2 years ago (she'd gone before, her mom just didn't know it cause it was on "our" weekend). Its held every year at an amusement park. Last year, her mom and step-dad took them to an amusement park for a day. They had never done that before.

The broom's put up a carport. She had a carport by the end of that summer.

Her first ex-husband traded his pop-up camper for a new travel trailer. One month later, she got rid of her 1979 14ft camper and had a 5th wheel (her parents bought it for her).

I bought a truck. Two months later, she had a truck.

I put a horse sticker in the side windows. She put a giant horse sticker on the rear window.

I bought a horse trailer. Within 2 months, she had a horse trailer.

She even tried to trade her sorrell horse for a paint when I started riding my colt (a black and white paint - she even said what she was doing)!

The list goes on and on....seriously...its sad. But I'm happy about the birthday. If easy child 2/difficult child is having one at mom's, we won't have to host a friend party here! And while I don't mind doing it......YEAH! that I don't have to! I like to sleep on the weekends, not stay up with 13 year old girls!!!!

Besides....its easy child 2/difficult child that wins in this game. But its still funny. And rather sad that she's that....I don't even know what. Someone has a saying at the end of their sig that says "Its better to be a first rate version of yourself than a second rate version of someone else." So true....

 

[totoro]

She sounds so lost. Almost makes you feel bad for her, little bit. tee-hee.
But you win and so does easy child/difficult child 2! Hopefully she sticks to the plan.

 

[Shari]

She is lost and I've always felt bad for her, but there's a point where you just give up. I tried....REALLLY HARD...to be friendly with her for years....long before I was divorced and she and husband were still together...but she's just so....nothing is her, you know what I mean?

After she and husband split, she never rode the horse again. Even admitted when they were together, she didn't even care to ride, just did it to always make sure she was with him (she wouldn't do anything without him and he couldn't do anything without her). Two years after they split, the boyfriends that she had weren't campers, so she doesn't camp. Camper is now permanently parked at a lot that her parents own. She cut the horse trailer up for scrap.

Her hubby now is 10 years younger than she is and a metal head. She now dyes her hair funky colors, and is into serious gaming.

Nothing is truly "her".

She even emailed me once, she was talking about not liking husband very much. They were still together, probably 2 or 3 years before they split. She said that even tho she didn't like him much, he was better than being alone.

And after he left, anytime she was without a man, she'd put easy child 2/difficult child in her bed. In the 3 years that she was "single" before she met her now-hubby, she had at least 4 guys live with her....she was never without one.

 

[trinityroyal]

That is very sad. Sounds like she has no idea who she is and can't stand to be in her own company long enough to find out.
However, she's picked a good person to emulate in you, and easy child 2 does end up benefiting.

 

[gcvmom]

That is sad. She seriously suffers from an identity crisis! Your last name wouldn't be Jones, would it? 'Cuz she sure is trying to keep up with you!

 

[Shari]

I don't know that she's emulating a good person in me, but easy child 2/difficult child certainly wins because of it...otherwise, it would just plain p*ss me off. lol

Money is no object for her. Her parents are loaded and they pay cash for her older daughter's private college (she lost her scholarship because she refused to do community service projects) and pays for all of easy child 2/difficult child's clothes, school supplies, dr visit, etc. She makes about $10 bucks an hour, always has, and lives in a $250k house, drives $20k vehicles, has a $2k tv hung on her wall, xbox/ps3/game cube...all of them.

She has everything one could possibly want except happiness. And for that, I feel bad for her. But I could never convince her before, and probably never will, that happiness comes from within yourself...no one else can make it for you, and no one else can take it away. And that's sad.

I've posted to some about the Dr Phil book that helped me a lot...Self Matters. The premise of it is that you change the way you act and react to people and things in your life and that will change their actions and reactions to you. You work on yourself first and people around you will change...I gave her that book years ago. She did read it. And then decided on a few things she was going to do a few things differently because those would impact husband the most and make him change the fastest...

It is sad. But its her life.

 

[AnnieO]

Yeah... That is sad. I don't mind picking up one thing here, another there from others if I like the idea. But mostly I'm my own mishmash. And I think that's "normal". To "have" to have what everyone else does to be "happy"... That's awful. And I doubt she's actually happy.

I don't like being alone, but I did just fine before husband. And I would again, if I had to.

Sigh... Too many people like that. Wish her parents were not loaded, because it would push her a bit. Maybe.