Had a Eureka moment with-difficult child last night

[StressedM0mma]

I about ran outside shouting I was so happy. When I went to tell her goodnight, (why is it always at bedtime?) she was super stressed. I asked her what was going on and she actually talked to me! She has been freaking out about her spanish class since the first quarter!!! Why she didn't tell me I have no idea. I guess the class is full of all the "popular" kids. And, when it is time to get partners for group work, guess whose kid is left sitting alone with no one to work with? And she said she has to go up to a group of 2 and ask to be in it, because she is always left out. And, she said she has actually had girls tell her no!!!! I just wish they had assigned partners for the year. Basically these girls have ostracized her since day one. No wonder she has not wanted to go to school. (spanish is first period.) what a way to start the day. So, we told her to drop it too, and she can make it up over the summer or next year.

 

[buddy]

she is a bully victim! It is more to it than that clearly but she has been bullied if she is being told no to group activities. I wonder if you have an IEP... you could have an accommodation that in classes with group work, the teacher assign partners/groups. They can use methods like picking names from a sack etc.

Maybe in future you can approach each teacher once you get her schedule and ask for this accommodation regardless of whether she has a 504 or IEP. I still wish they would put her on an IEP so you could have in school true understanding support and accommodations from staff who specialize in her kinds of issues.

 

[HaoZi]

I'm glad you have an answer and solution, and I can't blame her either. Assigning partners wouldn't have solved that problem (I speak from experience) it would have created different ones. I often ended up with art at the beginning of the day in high school.

 

[AnnieO]

I'm glad you told her to drop the class, because even with assigned partners... That would stick her with some "popular" girl. Let me tell you, as an outcast in HS - popular = snooty & stuck up & downright nasty.

This made me smile. You go Warrior Mom!

 

[Bunny]

I'm so glad that she finally told you what was stressing her so badly. How did she react when you told her to drop the class? I think that you did the right thing in telling her to drop it. The less stress that she has right now, the better off she will be.

Plus, if the teacher assigned her to a "popular" partner, the partner would probably think that she is better than difficult child and let difficult child do all the work. Ask me how I know.

This is a breakthrough for her. I'm glad to hear it.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Well, difficult child was refusing to go to school this morning, but I pushed and pushed and pushed. I finally said OK, I will get dressed, and go in with you to talk to your guidance guy about making Algebra 2 be a study hall, and that you will not be coming in until 2nd period because we are getting rid of spanish 2. She got up bushed her teeth and got in the car. I walked in to the school and went to his office. G.C. was not there of course and the secretary tried to tell me to come back. Um, no you can go find him, I am not leaving. So, they hunt him down, and difficult child and I go to his office. I didn't even give him a chance to talk. I told him that difficult child would be going to study hall today and that starting tomorrow morning she would be coming in at the start of 2nd period. He tried to tell me that he would have to get it approved, and administration bla blah.... Told him we tried his way, and I was all done with him. So, difficult child has study hall and late start as of now.
And, the school psychologist called this morning, and he was horrified that they have not given her a 504. So, he is setting up that meeting ans we should here from him by Thurs. Thank you ladies. All of you that let me borrow your armor. It has a few more dents after this morning, but It served me well.

 

[busywend]

You go girl!!!!

 

[HaoZi]

Dents pop out, tarnish gives character. A shiny new suit is for the snobs to put in the corner, working warrior moms have armor that shows its worth and wear.

 

[InsaneCdn]

HaoZi: <LIKE> <LIKE>

 

[StressedM0mma]

I love that HaoZi! What a great explanation.

 

[TerryJ2]

Excellent!!! What a great evening and follow-up day. I know you're a war-weary soldier, but you have won this battle, and are soon to win the war. Good for you and difficult child!