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General Parenting
had a GREAT time......then I came home...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 220330" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Bran,</p><p></p><p>I am SOO sorry your daughter is doing all of this. It is WONDERFUL that you were able to have a short getaway and enjoy yourself. IF we don't do things like that we soon find we have lost ourselves in our kids' problems. I am glad the baggie idea worked. Feel free to use it anytime, heck, even if you just want a bubble bath or a trip to a coffeehouse.</p><p></p><p>As for your daughter, unless you are willing to pay a small fortune for a private tranport firm to find her and drag her out to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), well, there really isn't much you can do. Even if you DO drag her to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) she will be able to sign out at 18, unless you can somehow get the court to give you guardianship of her.</p><p></p><p>IF you become her guardian then you are responsible for her indefinitely. I know NY says until age 21, but it doesn't sound like she is going to choose to be home during that time.</p><p></p><p>I think it is time for you to go to Al Anon meetings and learn how to cope with her choices. Check out <a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/</a> for some suggstions.</p><p></p><p>Detachment does NOT mean you don't care. It means you care, but you realize you ahve no control over it so you will try to have the best life you can anyway. I am pretty sure I didn't explain it well. If you search "detachment" on this site you will find some ideas about it. </p><p></p><p>It isn't healthy for you to keep yourself worked up about your daughter and her involvement in gangs, prostitution, drugs, or whatever. BE concerned, even worried, but since there is almost nothing you can do to change it, then you need to focus on things you CAN change and the other people in your life, like your son.</p><p></p><p>Many gentle hugs, This is just a nightmare for you to go through.</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 220330, member: 1233"] Bran, I am SOO sorry your daughter is doing all of this. It is WONDERFUL that you were able to have a short getaway and enjoy yourself. IF we don't do things like that we soon find we have lost ourselves in our kids' problems. I am glad the baggie idea worked. Feel free to use it anytime, heck, even if you just want a bubble bath or a trip to a coffeehouse. As for your daughter, unless you are willing to pay a small fortune for a private tranport firm to find her and drag her out to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), well, there really isn't much you can do. Even if you DO drag her to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) she will be able to sign out at 18, unless you can somehow get the court to give you guardianship of her. IF you become her guardian then you are responsible for her indefinitely. I know NY says until age 21, but it doesn't sound like she is going to choose to be home during that time. I think it is time for you to go to Al Anon meetings and learn how to cope with her choices. Check out [URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/article-on-detachment.53639/[/URL] for some suggstions. Detachment does NOT mean you don't care. It means you care, but you realize you ahve no control over it so you will try to have the best life you can anyway. I am pretty sure I didn't explain it well. If you search "detachment" on this site you will find some ideas about it. It isn't healthy for you to keep yourself worked up about your daughter and her involvement in gangs, prostitution, drugs, or whatever. BE concerned, even worried, but since there is almost nothing you can do to change it, then you need to focus on things you CAN change and the other people in your life, like your son. Many gentle hugs, This is just a nightmare for you to go through. Susie [/QUOTE]
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