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General Parenting
Had an interesting, if gutwrenching therapy appointment
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<blockquote data-quote="mattsmom27" data-source="post: 9168" data-attributes="member: 50"><p>Janet, I feel your pain in realizing you haven't been perfect. I also see such a gift you have given yourself, realizing that you had to parent without the role model of a good parent yourself, with your history and abuse and desire to do better for your kids. So you weren't perfect, that is a hard thing for most of us to finally realize, what is perfect? I haven't seen it in anyone. </p><p>You are a courageous woman. You realize your difficulties, you realize that they impacted your children, you acknowledge this to yourself and your children, and you want even better for them and their children.</p><p>So really what has been accomplished in these hard to realize realizations? That you have overcome! You had no parenting, you have a history filled with pain and abuse and yet you did better. Not perfect, but better. You changed the legacy, despite any flaws in your parenting. Your kids will do even better, they learned from your efforts not that you made mistakes, but that despite mistakes you did better and they benefited from your efforts, and they can learn from your mistakes the way you learned from your mothers.</p><p>I have only on a few occassions discussed my life, my childhood, in detail. You and I are very similar Janet, our lives, our mothers for sure. I felt every painful word of your description of the way you were mistreated. I could almost hear the echos of my own mothers voice saying some of those things. I could see your life parallell to mine with the physical abuse, right to the burns. We are kindred spirits I believe Janet.</p><p>You have done amazing for yourself. You are battling your own history, your own parenting, your past. You are coping with your own mental health issues. You are trying to break a pattern with your children. And Janet, you are doing it!!! Your children were gifted with you as a mother Janet. You love your children, and mistakes made are just that, mistakes. They do NOT define you Janet. Your motives, your honesty, your desires for your childrens lives to be wonderful and prosperous and happy are what define you Janet.</p><p>I define you Warrior Mom and Warrior Woman. You may doubt your own strength sometimes, and I know you are having a hard time right now dealing with beauracracy for helping yourself etc. But you keep going every day. You are a force to be reckoned with Janet, your strength is inspiring. I often read your posts and wonder "can she leap tall buildings too?". Because Janet, you truly define "parent". You have your own issues going on but your kids remain forefront in your mind, in your heart. </p><p>Don't ever sell yourself short Janet. You are a remarkable woman and you are not defined by your history or your mistakes.</p><p></p><p>Melissa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mattsmom27, post: 9168, member: 50"] Janet, I feel your pain in realizing you haven't been perfect. I also see such a gift you have given yourself, realizing that you had to parent without the role model of a good parent yourself, with your history and abuse and desire to do better for your kids. So you weren't perfect, that is a hard thing for most of us to finally realize, what is perfect? I haven't seen it in anyone. You are a courageous woman. You realize your difficulties, you realize that they impacted your children, you acknowledge this to yourself and your children, and you want even better for them and their children. So really what has been accomplished in these hard to realize realizations? That you have overcome! You had no parenting, you have a history filled with pain and abuse and yet you did better. Not perfect, but better. You changed the legacy, despite any flaws in your parenting. Your kids will do even better, they learned from your efforts not that you made mistakes, but that despite mistakes you did better and they benefited from your efforts, and they can learn from your mistakes the way you learned from your mothers. I have only on a few occassions discussed my life, my childhood, in detail. You and I are very similar Janet, our lives, our mothers for sure. I felt every painful word of your description of the way you were mistreated. I could almost hear the echos of my own mothers voice saying some of those things. I could see your life parallell to mine with the physical abuse, right to the burns. We are kindred spirits I believe Janet. You have done amazing for yourself. You are battling your own history, your own parenting, your past. You are coping with your own mental health issues. You are trying to break a pattern with your children. And Janet, you are doing it!!! Your children were gifted with you as a mother Janet. You love your children, and mistakes made are just that, mistakes. They do NOT define you Janet. Your motives, your honesty, your desires for your childrens lives to be wonderful and prosperous and happy are what define you Janet. I define you Warrior Mom and Warrior Woman. You may doubt your own strength sometimes, and I know you are having a hard time right now dealing with beauracracy for helping yourself etc. But you keep going every day. You are a force to be reckoned with Janet, your strength is inspiring. I often read your posts and wonder "can she leap tall buildings too?". Because Janet, you truly define "parent". You have your own issues going on but your kids remain forefront in your mind, in your heart. Don't ever sell yourself short Janet. You are a remarkable woman and you are not defined by your history or your mistakes. Melissa [/QUOTE]
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Had an interesting, if gutwrenching therapy appointment
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