Had it with the way Hubby treats difficult child!!!!!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by whateveryousay2007, Dec 17, 2007.

  1. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    I'm just going to say it.....I've had it with the way hubby treats difficult child!!!!!!!

    I'm at wits end. I understand that difficult child can be trying sometimes. Actually quite a bit. But....it's almost all social. He becomes impatient easily.

    we went to a Christmas Party saturday. difficult child went upstairs with the other kids (to play by himself). Dinnertime I had to drag him downstairs. He had to wait in line. He began complaining...then he wasn't hungry. I expected it...it didn't bother me. Oh...no....hubby starts huffing and tapping his foot. So me and difficult child gets out of line and goes in the living room while everyone else eats.

    Then yesterday hubby was gone all day. It was just me & difficult child at home. He comes home and picks & complains the entire night about difficult child. Quit making that noise, quit doing that....

    I finally told him to stop it....difficult child can't help it. Maybe he should go to the doctor next time with me to see & understand that he can't help it. Hubby just yells out No!!!! He has this attitude that he knows everything and I'm supposed to deal with everything to do with difficult child. he's supposed to be quiet & never get on his nerves.

    Oh...and after everything he doesn't do for me...help with the house, difficult child, etc. He still expects me to perform my wifely duties...(never mind I'm to the point of wanting to punch him in the face....really....) when he wants it.

    He refuses counciling....I really am to the point of taking my child and moving in with my parents. talking to him does no good....he'll do better for maybe 2 days.

    I'm always left wondering if he resents "our" child because he is the spawn of my ex-hubby or because he's so different. He adopted him when he was little....my ex wasn't in his life much...

    He won't read any books about autism, ADD, Asperger's....nothing. He won't go to any of the appointments. He won't do anything...except criticise.....

    Any ideas....PLEASE.....I know I'm venting here but I've really had it!!!!!!!
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    My husband was like that, til I drug him to every single doctor appoint. I'm not sure if he finally "caught on" or if he learned to keep his thoughts to himself. lol Either way he improved. Not the least bit perfect, mind you, but it's better.

    I so understand your frustration. Maybe you could time his "two days of good behavior" so that it hits on a doctor appoint day and get him to go?

    Til husband got a clue (he swore Travis was out to drive him insane) I made him butt completely out of the parenting role. His methods were only making things worse anyway.

    I'm sorry. It's an uphill climb when both parents aren't on the same page with difficult child.

  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Sweetie I am so sorry. Sending heartfelt hugs.

    Sigh. Brace yourself. Time to really sit down with husband and tell him exactly what you need from him. Then it is up to you (and you alone) to decide if you can continue to live with him if he does not live up to your expectations. Write a list. Include going to the doctor or reading up on your son's diagnosis. Include looking for sex after spending the evening complaining. Who would want that?

    I'm not saying that you need to give him an ultimatum. Just tell him what YOU need in the relationship. And he will either agree or not. He just might. Then, he may not.

    Then you need to decide. Is it so bad? Or maybe it is better to go to mom & dad's. And that is where we come in. This board, this wonderful board, will be here to support you no matter what your decision. Come here to draw strength from us.

    Prayers for your situation.
  4. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    I've talked with hubby before over the years that he had to change. I couldn't take it. The first few times he would cry and say he'd change. (Prior to the autism diagnosis)

    Last time I told him that I wasn't happy anymore. (I was referring to his attitude) he told me that if I wasn't happy I could leave. Excuse me? So I told his mom that he was acting irrationally and explained the situation. They came over and spoke with him and things got better for a little while. He told me that's not what he meant....he meant I could leave to go cool off....whatever....

    He has never been a hands on daddy....I've done everything. And it's not like we've had this discussion a lot. Like 4 times in 8 1/2 years.

    About a week and a half ago difficult child was complaining of not feeling well. He sat in my lap and would start crying. I knew he had to throw up...stomach bug. Hubby was actually irritated because he was throwing up....give me a break!

    He's 8....it's scary to throw up. It's worse when you're sensory is amplified.

    I'm just aggrivated in general....talking to him doesn't do any good. I told him last night that he better start treating difficult child better...I've had it. Of course he didn't say anything in response to it.

    The only good news in the whole mess is his teacher called me yesterday and was telling me that I need to call difficult child doctor and get a letter stating that he has ADD so she can get his IEP moved up since he would be considered disabled.

    It being the holiday's does not help either.!!!!!
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Soooo been there!

    I really feel (no insult to the men on here - you wouldn't be on here if you were part of this particular catagory!) that men have a hard time accepting what's going on with our difficult child's.

    Remember: most of us grew up in the era in which "spare the rod, spoil the child" was the absolute when it came to raising your children. Unfortunately, in between our upbringing and our difficult child's existance, everyone was supposed to raise their kids as if they were going to be their friends.

    My husband didn't understand either. He thought that I was being driven to make excuses for our kids. When difficult child 1 went into a day treatment school, we were required to attend family therapy or difficult child 1 couldn't attend the program. It made me wild that he could talk out of his butt at these sessions. He spoke as if he knew and understood exactly what was going on with our kids (paraphrasing everything that I told HIM) and was the "involved dad".

    Then, the summer before last, he went into a tailspin depression. Through the course of the summer, he withdrew more and more from everyone. Finally 2 days before our anniversary, we exploded. What an arguement. I took the kids across the street to my dad's and we had it out. It came down to a change or move out. I'd had enough.

    Not for nothing, I kind of blame myself for allowing him to "armchair quarterback" because I didn't have the energy to constantly explain my actions to him.

    It's been a slow road, but we're moving on. He's taken a much more active role with the kids, he still slips up from time to time, but I have to admit, I was ready for him to leave. Once you've reached that point it's all in his hands. If he can't be a help and is actually a hindrence, then tell your story walking, pal, cause I've got kids to raise.

    This was the only way that we could survive. He didn't read the books, articles, websites, notes from teachers, go to therapy, anything. And I had hit my limit. I basically told him that: you are doing more damage being an absentee father that LIVES IN THE SAME HOUSE. There's nothing more brutal to a kid than to be constantly reminded that they aren't important.

    Thankfully, we came out ok. But it's work, boy is it work!!

    I so sympathize with you kiddo!

  6. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    The thing is husband won't change because he refuses to see and tells me that he doesn't have a problem.

    Last night difficult child was in the tub (he makes noises constantly) and husband kept on telling him to be quiet.

    difficult child had a remark back after a while. husband kept threatening to spank him. He yells at him which makes difficult child yell back....so on...and so on....

    I told husband I'm not condoning what difficult child does but he can't help it. Just leave him alone! I get so tired of him always threatening to hit him because he's getting on his nerves. I have really had it.

    Does anyone else have a difficult child that just has to get the last word in? Mine just always says "you" at the end of every episode. Which sends husband over the edge. I'll turn it back at difficult child and say "you..." back at him and try to tickle him to make him laugh. It's hard to do when you're frustrated but most of the time it'll put him back in a so/so to good mood.

  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think this is a fairly common scenario in a difficult child household. DHs typically handle things quite differently than moms.

    You may never get him to see it like you do. in my humble opinion, the place to start is asking for more patience with difficult child. Keep that theme going for a bit and see what happens.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Although I think it's VERY common, I don't think it's acceptable for any husband to make a child with problems seem "bad" OR to not participate in treatment. If it were me, I'd probably sit him down and tell him what *I* needed from him (recently did that with my hub). Then, if he sputtered or made promises I knew he'd never keep OR told me to leave) I'd leave and only return if he met my conditions. It's hard enough to deal with our "different" children than to have to deal with difficult child hubs too who make things worse. Sounds like you've had lots of patience with hub and he refuses to bend his mindset. Sometimes it takes something drastic to happen to get inflexible people to see outside their own little mindset. And sometimes that drastic action also lets us see that the relationship is in such sorry shape that it can't be mended. I think you need to do what's best for YOUR mental health as well as your son's. husband should be helping you around the house. I won't even go into the "wifely duties" thing...lol. I swear, men think they can treat us like dirt and that, just like them, sex is seperate and still desired. (((Hugs))) Take care.
  9. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    It's funny that you used "inflexible"....I've become accustom to that word. Funny how reading "The Explosive Child" can change the way you look at things.

    difficult child's teacher called yesterday...bless her heart.....she thought about difficult child and had to call me. She remembered that they were swapping classes today and wanted to let difficult child know ahead of time so he wouldn't stress out from the change in routine. She wanted me to talk about it with him through out the day so he'd get used to the idea.

    Passport around the world. Each class is themed for a different country....the kids get their passports stamped for each hour they're in a different "country" (classroom).

    But...I've found something extra with his teacher...we both are affected by difficult child and she really cares about him and wants him to do well. She told me that I'm miles ahead of where other parents are at that school with their children. It's nice to know that someone out there understands and has the patience to deal....

    I think that part of husband problem is that the behavioral problems are significantly worse since we've been having him tested. I think he views it as difficult child knows he can act up and not get in trouble. That's not the case. They won't up difficult child medication's until all testing has been done. It takes time and it's hard for everyone.
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Hi - we've never spoken, I'm glad you found us!

    First and foremost - Hugs - your whole family sounds like it could use one.

    Next - What is it that you would like to see happen in your house?
    Do you want to have a relationship any longer with DF? Or do you think after so many years of trying you feel you already know the outcome of continued trying with outside help?

    If you answered either - then from what I see in your posts and hear in the tone of your letters - It's time to make a move for you and difficult child. That doesn't start with just packing a bag and pointing out every mistake you feel DF has. Believe it or not it involves YOU going to therapy and finding out what YOU can do for yourself. Whether that is learning how to communicate effectively with your son and your husband, or learning to draw a line in what behaviors you will and won't tolerate from others - regardless if you live with them, work with them or just know them as casual friends.

    The reasons I'm telling you this aren't as 'finger pointing' (at you) as you may think. You are more than obviously overworked, over tired and feel under appreciated. In a marriage home those feelings are a recipe for disaster. When you add in difficult child and his behaviors, and DF's seemingly or apparent unwillingness to bend - why WOULD anyone in your house be happy? What do you have to be happy about? You, DF and difficult child - all <u>not</u> happy. So you have a house full of unhappy people, not communicating, and getting worse day by day. No way for successful things to happen.

    You've already said DF will not go to therapy. Why can't you? Why can't you start going and see what it is that YOU could change about you - (nope not saying you are wrong - or right) just saying something and someone has to change and if you know it isn't going to be DF - the it HAS to be you. When you learn to love yourself, and find out that you are incredible, that you are to be cherished - appreciated, loved - you start seeing what you will and won't tolerate in your life. If you don't value yourself - how can you expect anyone else to do the same?

    I had GREAT self-confidence, I had NO self-esteem. You have that combination - I didn't want to continue my relationship but the last step I gave my marriage was to take myself to counseling to see IF INDEED it was really ME (as I was told 100 times a day by x). What I found out was that I did NOT deserve to be treated like an inanimate object, I wasn't supposed to be a cook or a maid. The husband WAS supposed to be faithful, help with the children, and above all protect and keep me from harm - NOT treat me like the abused hired help. AND what I was supposed to do = was be a good wife, and SHARE in the responsibilities of raising our child, be happy, love him back and if all that was in place? The rest just isn't such a struggle.

    I'm not talking about money or finances, owning big houses or fancy cars - I'm talking about knowing when you lay your head down at night - that there is someone beside you that has the same goals, dreams and cherishes you regardless if you put on weight, get sick, have a bad day (or twelve) - WE ALL deserve that.

    And if you aren't getting THAT - you need to find out why. And if you can't get DF to go to therapy - then YOU GO. Take your son, learn from the therapist HOW to communicate with them both and once you have done that if you still get no reply - you won't have to ask us what to do - you'll know what you need to do. Somewhere along the way - you'll learn not to pick the same types of men you had in the past and why. Finding out ALL about me in therapy made this crystal. Rather someone will pick YOU because you have it together, and you are so full of energy and love and caring - about yourself - THAT person will want to continue the same for you. And you for him.

    It all starts with Y-O-U - really it does, at this point you can't depend on anyone else to make a move - so YOU go for it. You won't regret it.

    BIG hugs - for you, because YOU deserve the best. You just need to believe.


  11. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's really hard to be the constant mediator, that's how it is in my house as well. However, it is getting better. My husband needs to know that I am on his side especially when difficult child is wrong, but, our situation is a little different because my difficult child is older. Which brings me to my concern about your situation.

    If you're having this much trouble when your son is eight. Wow! Watch out!! The teen years are even more challenging! I agree with the others that you really need to figure out what is best for you and difficult child. I wonder if your husband's constant nagging is contributing to your sons behavior? It's not like difficult child can't tell that husband is annoyed with him and it seems that nothing difficult child does is right, that's pretty hard on an eight year old.

    My husband used to threaten to leave me whenever there was a problem with difficult child. I told him very clearly not to make me choose between him and difficult child because I would choose difficult child. I don't want our little ones growing up without their dad, but I brought difficult child into this world and I am the only one he can rely on, I will not let him down. husband has finally come on board and understands better now that difficult child has a disability and is not always in control of himself, feelings, or moods.

    In my house, as long as husband knows I'm not "against him" that I'm for unity of my family, we have a lot less problems. But, it is a work in progress!!! I'm hoping you're able to find some peace very soon.
  12. shaile

    shaile New Member


    It is much the same now in this house. After 3yrs of Sig Other and I being together..the behavioral episodes from difficult child are really taking their toll. S.O. has gone from trying to understand, to feeling he understands it more than me, and now does not seem to care to listen or even try to have continued discussions about what we might try next or differently. It is if he has gone from trying to understand and help to just not caring if difficult child is happy or not, and it keeps me on the defensive for difficult child more so than I should be.

    I feel quite often literally trapped in the middle trying desperately to make them both happy, and constantly feel I am failing both. It is a pressure that frequently leaves me just sitting crying with feelings of no hope.

    I never once asked S.O. to step up to the plate and become this hard disciplinarian for difficult child. All I have ever asked for was the warmth of his arms to run to when I became battle wary. Recharge me and send me back into the good fight.

    While S.O. has read up some on the issues, and does come to the doctor. appts. and such..it is as if none of these things they are telling us really makes a impact and on one day its the theme of "he can't do any of those normal 8yr old things because he's not normal", and the next day it's "he needs to stop doing the not normal things and act normal". He's denied the normal and at the same time denied the not normal to the point that difficult child has no place inwhich to be.

    I really feel for you here, and hope that soon your husband will either step back and just be the support and strength you need or come to understand and accept how difficult child is, and work with that along with you.

    Well Wishes
  13. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    I've told husband from the beginning that difficult child was my #1 always. I told him I wasn't saying it to be mean or hurtful but he is the reason I do what I do.

    If we were going to be married and make this family work he needed to understand it. he said he was ok with that. I would expect him to be the same way too.

    Anyway...Vanderbilt has a very long wait time on a lot of it's services. Until all the evaluations are done I can't get any "therapy" or advice. My younger brother spent years in therapy and I already know what to expect. I know that husband won't go....I don't particulary care either.

    I'm fed up in general with the way that he interacts with difficult child more than anything. It's hard to parent when I'm the understanding one and he only wants to discipline.

    I'm to the point of telling him until he gets on the same page as I am or we can come to a mutual understanding on a parenting plan I'm going to be the disciplarian.

    I can't see any other way around it. Yes....I think difficult child is smart enough to know that daddy yelling at him leads to mommy giving daddy the "leave hime alone" look.

    I've gotten better about not responding verbally to husband in front of difficult child when he's going against what I'm trying to do. Which helps some. But....I don't want him on difficult child all the time either for things that aren't his fault.

    In a perfect world difficult child wouldn't need to be corrected. But....it's not a perfect world and difficult child is far from perfect.
  14. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{hugs}} It's really difficult to raise a difficult child when both parents aren't on the same page - and most of the time they aren't.

    My H is stepdad to my daughters. He's a wonderful father to them in so many ways. When they were little, he helped with homework, ran errands with them, helped them learn how to ride bikes, play games, etc. Part of the reason I fell in love with him was because he was so loving and tender with my daughters. Knowing that their bio-dad would have limited interaction with my girls, I understood that no matter who I found as my spouse or partner, it would have to be someone who accepted my daughters as an extension of me and *hopefully* as their own; someone who was ready to be a dad to them. H is all those things. I told him that from the get go and he's never wavered.

    Does that mean he's been a perfect partner in raising difficult child? Not at all! In fact, everything you've described could have been written by me. We'd have that 'look' between us when he would reprimand difficult child for something that I thought she couldn't help or was minor. We'd argue - in fact, I always made a concerted effort to wait until difficult child was not in the room to let H know I thought he was wrong or suggest a better way to handle a situation. It didn't matter. Everytime I disagreed with H would be cause for him to blame me for something or make me feel like I was babying difficult child too much, etc. It was ugly. At times it still is. Essentially, I was trying to get my H to see difficult child through MY eyes and that's not possible. I tried to see difficult child through HIS eyes and that was also impossible for me because our relationship with her is different, Know what I mean??

    Now I'm not saying it's all good now, finally, but it is a little better. When my difficult child was 13, 14, 15, she made some awful impulsive choices that landed her in a heap of trouble, she was sexually assaulted and taking care of that legal mess lasted a year (in fact, I am going to a probation hearing next month for the predator and difficult child is going to speak at the hearing so it's not really over yeat!). These events illuminated for H that difficult child wasn't just being a baby or stubborn or lazy or careless, or stupid. A set of events/incidents helped him to understand that she simply doesn't think like him or me or her sister or other people. He took some time and reflected on the fact that over the course of her life, she'd had other difficulties.

    Also, I told him if he didn't come with me to counseling, I would leave him. And since I'd done it before (with difficult child/easy child's dad) he knew I wouldn't threaten it if I didn't mean it. I never EVER told him that my kids came first because I don't think it's that simple. For the most part, our spouses come first, in my opinion. However, under certain circumstances, like you descibe, I think that we have to put our children first.

    Your H's attitude and words are damaging to your son. And they undermine your position in helping your son. They chip away at his self esteem, as well as yours. His demeaning words and attitude force you to question your motives and responses to difficult child at ever turn. Each and every family situation takes on a new level of emotional anxiety because all three of you are wondering how it will turn out. I can recall so many dinners where neither difficult child or I ate a thing because difficult child would take her sweet old time getting to the table and then H would sit there and lecture her about how hard I worked to cook a meal and she should have the decency to get to the table ASAP when called! To me, that was a Basket C issue compared to all the other :censored2: we had to deal with, you know? Anyway, it would ruin my appetite and difficult child would usually end up in her room crying. And that left easy child and H at the table eating silently, I'm sure with a knot in their stomachs.

    Anyway, I think you should continue to ask H to read up on your difficult child's symptoms/diagnosis. I used to leave some books around, in the bathroom, the kitchen table, for H to see. Sometimes he would pick it up, other times he'd push it out of his way. Then I printed stuff off the internet and left it on the table so he'd see it. And if your H won't go to couneling, then go without him. You can sometimes share some of the things you talked about in session - even if he acts like he's not listening. Also, have difficult child go to counseling since he's likely picking up on the fact that you are arguing over him. He needs to see that he will not be allowed to manipulate that situation to his advantage. H and you, despite your differing views, should remain a team in his eyes, Know what I mean??

    And if all else fails, do leave and go stay with your mom until he agrees to go to counseling with you. But only threaten it if you're fully prepared to do it. Ask yourself, will we be better off with or without H in our lives if everything remains the same? Ask yourself why you fell in love with H, why did he adopt your son? If you can find a way to talk about those earlier decisions maybe you can draw on them to help you through this.

    Hugs and best of luck~
  15. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Your husband may be unwilling to read up on stuff, or he might be unable to take in the information. Whichever it is, don't take it as non-compliance. Some men would mask their difficulty in this with bravado and impatience, uttering, "It's all a waste of time, it's just namby-pamby rubbish." Or similar.

    That's when you say, "Then here is my summary of what it is trying to say," and either make him read a summary you wrote, or sit him down and explain it to him. Then do it all again the next day, and the next, and the next week, until he finally begins to 'get it'.

    And if he refuses to listen? This is when you have to use LOGIC. Sit him down for a Serious Talk, the kind that hints that your bags are packed and whether you go or stay will be determined by his considered response. Keep it calm and rational.

    Here is what you say: "You say that nothing is wrong with difficult child. You base this on your observations of him, on your past experience of information you've had about the range of disorders and on what you hear, read and discuss with other people in your environment. That is fair enough - you are entitled to form your own opinions.

    BUT - I spend more time with difficult child. I have more opportunity to observe him, to discuss his progress with experts in the field including his teachers and his doctors, as distinct from your information sources on the topic (your workmates and the blokes at the pub). I have read a great deal on the topic both for and against and weighed up all the information. I have had to become an expert and I am still learning. Taking all this into account - your point of view and mine, plus the knowledge base for both - please do me the courtesy of at least CONSIDERING that there might be some truth in the hypothesis that difficult child has problems."

    The outcome of the conversation should be you telling husband - "If you feel I am wrong, that is OK but you must present your arguments based on solid information and academic studies, not on what Bill next door said last time you both went fishing. Basically, as Bob Dylan said in 'The Times They Are A'Changing', 'Don't criticise what you can't understand'. So either make an effort to inform yourself so we can work as a team, or stay right out of the discipline entirely and do not act impatient, annoyed, or anything else negative in a way that will make difficult child or me feel worse about ourselves or what we are doing. If you are not happy with this, then there are a lot of other things that you clearly are not prepared to do to work at our relationship either."

    You can use this to invite him to attend the next doctor appointment. If husband wants to argue with you about either the validity of this diagnosis, or whether it applies to difficult child, then tell husband, "Don't argue with me about it, I am not the one who diagnosed difficult child. Go and argue with the doctor at the next appointment. Better still, make an appointment to see the doctor yourself so you can tell the doctor where he went wrong. If you are right then you will be doing a great service to American medicine, giving a much more effective treatment regime to the world. And if you are wrong - then the sooner you realise this the sooner you will be able to be a valuable and effective dad for this little boy."

    Not easy. But husband has to see, at some stage, that you can't change a difficult child by acting like a difficult child yourself.

  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    If you could tell husband "I need your help on this (something very small with-difficult child); this is what I plan to do," he may buy into it. Don't make it the whole big picture, make it a bitesize piece.
    For ex., you mentioned that difficult child makes noises in the bathtub ... how about redirecting the noises, like if he's got boats, make motorboat noises. Then have husband stand there and listen to appropriate noises and tell him you taught difficult child that. Make sure husband knows you can teach difficult child things and redirect the behavior instead of just telling him to shut up. Quite frankly, shut up only works briefly and then it wears off, much like spankings, and after that only causes resentment.
    So then you can tell difficult child, "Remember how we learned to make motorboat noises?" or whatever is appropriate at the time, and make sure husband is listening.
    I agree that counseling by yourself is a great idea. You can always tell husband that you're getting tools to work with and he's welcome to go. Give him a choice of going with-you and your coming home and giving him the Reader's Digest condensed version. He will take the RD version, LOL! But those are his only two choices. He will have to hear about the counseling no matter what.
    I have been going to counseling for several mo's now and most of it was just for me, but a lot was because of our marriage. Most men don't "get it" and don't want to go. But I've gotten myDH to go twice now and it does help. If nothing else, it's something you two can do alone together, with-o difficult child, and then you can get a cup of coffee afterward. You two need time alone to communicate and relax.
  17. happymomof2

    happymomof2 New Member

    (((Huge Hugs)))

    Some of that sounds familiar. My husband is a very laid back person, unless he is behind the wheel of a vehicle (that's a whole other story). So when he does get upset that means the kids or I have pushed way too far. When he does loose it he really makes me angry with the things that he says to them.

    He hasn't been heavily involved with them. He would go to baseball games and stuff but as far as taking them out to play catch or ride bikes - notta.

    I am a firm believer in discipline but also in the fact you have to balance the discipline with love. My husband doesn't balance at all. I would really like him to show them more love.

    Men are different than we are. We are nuturers (spx) - men more fixers and when it can't be fixed they get frustrated and just give up. Well our kids aren't lawnmowers - can't just toss them if they don't work right and get another one!

    Sure all that doesn't help you much - just know your not alone.
  18. whateveryousay2007

    whateveryousay2007 New Member

    husband realizes now that something is wrong with difficult child. But...he still reacts to the stimulant with anger. This causes difficult child to snarl back. Back & forth.

    Hopefully...after all testing is wrapped up next month he'll have "scientific proof" in his hands and wise up!