Had my last neuropsychologist appointment today

[flutterbee]

We finished up testing and then he went over my test scores. I don't have a written report yet - hope to have that in a couple of weeks - but here is the crux of it:

(I may not have all the terminology right - we went over this 3+ hours into a 2 hour appointment.)

VIQ (Verbal IQ - judgment, reasoning, data manipulation) in the 94th percentile
PIQ (Performance (?) IQ - attentional, distractability, short term memory) in the 34th percentile.

Big discrepancy. He said it's left temporal lobe. We still don't know what caused it.

He said I wouldn't be able to do the kind of work that I do anymore. I guess I looked upset because he said, 'That's not a surprise to you, though.' It's not. I was just hoping I was wrong. Also have trouble with sustained effort. He's not seeing me being able to work 40 hours a week consistently. He said I need something where I can work at my own pace and not have tight deadlines. Anyone know of any jobs like that? Cause I sure don't. I have some numbers for vocational rehab.

He's recommending to my neurologist a PET scan. But I don't see my insurance company covering that. He doesn't know the cause of these issues, but he doesn't seem to hold much hope for it improving. In fact, he said he could see me in 2 or 3 years if I felt it was getting worse. These things do get worse with age. I just have a jumpstart.

I still don't have any kind of a diagnosis. I see my GP Monday and I'm going to ask for a new rheumy. I see the neurologist again on the 25th.

I feel stuck in limbo. If I can't work full time consistently, I can't support my family. I have to have health insurance. Very few companies offer benefits to part time employees (although my former employer did and that's possibly an option - just doing different work - or a different level).

For the first time in a very long time, I'm afraid.

 

[Hound dog]

It is scarey.

My short term memory, and alot of the other issues I was having for the first couple of years after the head injury have greatly improved.

But they are still there. Oddly enough, I know school has helped. Tons. All of the "old stuff" is still there it seems. But when it is something totally new I struggle, even if it is simple and I know it's simple. I had a huge issue with it in chemistry just last week. We had these equations to do. I knew they should've been easy. But I kept missing an important step. I just couldn't figure out why I kept missing it. Finally my lab partner put it in black and white in a way I can remember which formula is used for which thing. (saved me she did)

It is frustrating to say the least. And often it scares me. I'm "spending" alot of money on school. Money I'll have to pay back whether I make it or not. And to be frank, pharmacology scares me silly. It was not easy for me in LPN 25 yrs ago by a long shot. I dread it now, even though easy child says she'll help.

easy child tells me school forced me to use what I'd lost. Sort of like therapy I guess. I just hope more "comes back" before I get into pharm. *shudder*

The vocational rehab might be a good idea. Also, they usually have staff that will help you to find jobs, or direct you to someone who can.

((hugs))

 

[flutterbee]

Thank you for sharing that, Lisa. I needed to hear some hope today.

I keep telling myself when one door closes, another opens. Maybe what I find on the other side will be more fulfilling than before.

I'm trying to remain optimistic. There has to be a silver lining in here somewhere.