HereWeGoAgain
Grandpa
Not telling you what's going on then blaming you for not knowing... it seems incredible the self-serving heads-I-win tails-you-lose logic that they come up with. I'm sorry.
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- Thread starter witzend
- Start date
Stella Johnson
Active Member
I'm so sorry this is still going on with your family. I don't get how your parents can let this drag on for so long. I can't imagine not speaking to my child for 9 years.
Hopefully before they do pass on they will come to their senses.
Hope your bbq went well.
and that the dogs were angels.
Steph
Hopefully before they do pass on they will come to their senses.
Hope your bbq went well.
and that the dogs were angels.Steph
witzend
Well-Known Member
The bbq went really well. I think. I got schnockered, and everyone seemed happy. One friend who came has a very blended family, and we got to talking after everyone left. She has a stepdaughter who has two children by two men. The oldest boy is 5. The youngest's father is with them now, but has usually ignored the elder, leaving him out of everything because he wasn't "his". They'd call and say "We have to go to biodad's family wedding, and we need to leave the older boy with you because he's not part of that family. That I understood.
D then told me that stepdaughter said that biodad was doing better with the older one, "he plays with him sometimes now and everything." I kind of didn't get that.
Then D said "Well, but does he act like a dad to him? Is he his dad?" I have to admit, part of me knows what that should mean, but I don't really understand that. Is there a world where dad's who aren't just sperm donors isn't just the guy who works and comes home to eat with you, and resents every penny and second of his time that he has to spend with you?
D then told me that stepdaughter said that biodad was doing better with the older one, "he plays with him sometimes now and everything." I kind of didn't get that.
Then D said "Well, but does he act like a dad to him? Is he his dad?" I have to admit, part of me knows what that should mean, but I don't really understand that. Is there a world where dad's who aren't just sperm donors isn't just the guy who works and comes home to eat with you, and resents every penny and second of his time that he has to spend with you?
Aw, Witz...so sad to hear what your experience of a "dad" is. My dad was not the greatest but I did know he cared about me (he died 17 yrs ago).
My thoughts through this whole situation you have been posting about have been pretty "not nice" I guess. My feeling is, "so what, he had a bypass and isn't doing that well". Why are you supposed to be so concerned and caring? You have been disowned really, why should you now have to take an interest? This is all in addition to the fact that no one even told you in the first place! But even if they had, why should you care? He doesn't sound like a father to me, only a sperm donor. I think you have done a marvelous job of detaching from your toxic family and are to be applauded for that and for being a great mom when given such lousy role models of what parents are! So, my hat is off to you and your wonderful strength!
Love,
Jane
My thoughts through this whole situation you have been posting about have been pretty "not nice" I guess. My feeling is, "so what, he had a bypass and isn't doing that well". Why are you supposed to be so concerned and caring? You have been disowned really, why should you now have to take an interest? This is all in addition to the fact that no one even told you in the first place! But even if they had, why should you care? He doesn't sound like a father to me, only a sperm donor. I think you have done a marvelous job of detaching from your toxic family and are to be applauded for that and for being a great mom when given such lousy role models of what parents are! So, my hat is off to you and your wonderful strength!
Love,
Jane
