Hanging in

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 2ODD, Apr 23, 2011.

  1. 2ODD

    2ODD New Member

    We're hanging in. The kids haven't asked for their dad. The first day they wanted to know why we had to leave. I told them it's because their dad needs help with his anger so he won't scream at us anymore. They accepted it.

    After he threatened me yesterday about calling the police on me, I called my lawyer. She is going in to get a custody order and temp. possession of the vehicle.

    I did give my husband the opportunity over the cell phone to agree to move out and let the kids have their home while be gets help. The other option is that we don't come back. He chose to threaten instead and insist that he doesn't have a problem. I guess that I know his choice.

    My cell phone is turned off. I won't be taking his calls (as per lawyer instruction). I did get a voice mail asking if I had sent a check to the mechanic for his vehicle. The night before the message was to pick up apples and garbage bags.

    A friend has located a shelter in another county that is run by nuns. They have therapy for all of us and food and lodging is free. I think that we will be heading there. Being in a small area, I am always looking over my shoulder to see if husband or his family/friends are there. Very stressful. If we go there, then my lawyer can do her job and we can have some peace while my friends will be looking for a home for us. In the meantime, safety first.

    Thank you all for your love, prayers and support. It means the world to me. Especially now when the world seems so big and I, sometimes, feel so alone.
  2. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    This must be so hard. You are doing the right thing and it will pay off in the long run. Hang in there and keep being strong.
  3. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Ditto what Dash said. We're here for you, please continue to let us know y'all are okay and how things are going.
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I read back to try to get an idea of your situation. You are doing what you need to do, you have to take care of yourself and your kids. It does not sound like at this time husband is ready to own up to what is going on, and if he is still yelling and angry? Don't engage him, don't talk to him, and keep you and the kids safe. I have kicked my husband out of the house for a month over drug use, and it was not easy. I have left him at the medical hospital as he refused to get help, he slept behind a store dumpster in December. I have done the same at psychiatric hospitals. He would not get help untill he saw he needed help, and thankfully he saw that.

    My thoughts are with you. I am glad you have some friends who are nearby and supporting you through this. Having difficult child's is hard, but it is no excuse for his behavior. Hugs. You are doing the right thing for you and your kiddos.
  5. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    This must be so hard. Keep protecting yourself as it is most dangerous when you leave. I'm glad you are going to the shelter. Your lives are the most important. Saying prayers for you. Hugs to your and your kids.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you have legal representation and so proud of you for doing what you need to do...even though I am sure you never imagined you would ever have to face decisions like these. Particularly I am happy that you have friends for support. So many women get completely isolated and that increases their risk. You remain in my thoughts and prayers. DDD
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I didn't realize that your husband was abusive to this degree, forgive me for not advising you to leave. I'm so glad you took JJJ's advice about getting a lawyer - good for you! I left my x over 16 years ago and went into hiding after I got my son back. We managed to stay off the radar for about 8 years, until someone messed up my private listing for phone. I still haven't seen him in 16 years, but our son decided that he needed to face him and went to see him. Nothing changed, he never got help for his problems, and my son sees now my silence spoke volumes about the situation I took him from. I certainly didn't get married to get divorced. I also highly recommend counseling for you and all the kids. Divorce or separation or whatever it is you all are going to do affects each child and you differently, and they'll need someone to talk to - not you. Please give them that choice/opportunity.

    Also know you aren't alone - ever. You have more friends here than you know-all the time. You also have more women here that have been where you are right now, know how impossible everything seems, and can tell you for true that it gets so much better. Not a morning goes by that I don't wake up, open my eyes - look at my ceiling and than God - it's mine, it's quiet, I have peace. It didn't come easy - but it was worth working hard for.

    Hugs & Love to you and your kids
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Many hugs and lots of love.