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Substance Abuse
happy but sad at the same time...
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<blockquote data-quote="Karenvm" data-source="post: 580461" data-attributes="member: 15766"><p>Hi all.</p><p>After many phone calls, very little help from the psychiatrist, we finally found a residential facility that was willing to accept my son into their "diagnostic 45 day program". It is not a substance abuse program, but more mental health with some substance abuse help as well. It's called "XXXXXXX" (not sure if we are allowed to name facilities?), and is about an hour and a half from where we live. My insurance is covering it (thank goodness!). Of course, my son had to consent to go, which was not easy, but I told him he needed to go somewhere for help, and he turns 18 in June, so better to go now to a pediatric facility, than an adult facility. He signed the consents. we brought him on Monday. It's a huge place, something like 260 acres, with multiple "houses" that hold about 20 kids each, all diffentiated by the needs of that group of kids. There is a beautiful school building, where they go daily, a huge gym, pool, and the grounds themselves are just very nice and peaceful. Of course, it's still a "facility", and no 5 star hotel, but still. I felt very comfortable leaving him there. The therapist, psychiatrist, nurse practitioner, social worker all were SO wonderful. I got my first phone call from my son on Thursday night. I didn't expect it to be good, but it was really bad! He said he hates it, I "have to get him out of there", the "other kids are crazy" (yes, I am sure that many have much more significant behavioral and psychological issues than he does), and that he can't possibly stay. Of course, I told him he would adjust, and to just focus on getting the therapy he needs, and that the other kids don't have to be his "best friends". The thing is, he has been so "out of control" at home for the past year or so- eats when he wants (including in the middle of the night), stays up till all hours playing video games, sleeps late, etc. The restrictions he now has are likely very hard for him right now (bed time at 9:30 for a 17 year old is rough!), but I think that is exactly what he needs to get him back on the right path. They are going to try Depakote as a mood stabilizer, and keep him on Lexapro. And they switched him from adderall (which I hate, because of the abuse potential), to Strattera. </p><p></p><p>I know in my heart he is fine, and that he needs to be there. Plus, it's SO incredibly peaceful at home- I don't walk on eggshells, wonder what his mood will be like when I get home, etc. I also know that it is probably normal for me to also feel very sad, and wonder if I am doing the right thing for him. It's just so hard to hear your child beg you to come and get him. Last night, he called again, and was just plain angry. He said that I lied to him, and that he was going to be there for three months (that is news to me- he was only accepted to the 45 day program, but of course, if he needs more therapy, he can stay as long as the insurance will cover it!). Said he will kill himself if he has to stay there. Complained about everything. I told him that he could not come home yet, and he said he hates "all of you people anyway". Ugh. I also told him that I planned to come and visit on Sunday (visiting is Sat and Sun), but that if he was just going to be rude to me, I would not be coming. He did ask that I please come, and he won't be rude. I do know that when I get there, it's going to be a begging session, him trying to convince me to get him out, which I will NOT do (I worked too hard to get him there to begin with!). My husband is not going with me to visit tomorrow (much to do at home, he will stay home with the other two kids), so I know it will be hard for me. I am very good at keeping the happy face, and being firm, even though on the inside I am dying! </p><p></p><p>So many of you have stories so similar to mine, and kids that seem just like my son! I know those of you who have been in my shoes, know exactly what I am facing right now. And the doubt I am feeling about the whole situation, even as irrational as it is! Truth is, our home is so peaceful right now, and I feel guilty for enjoying it! </p><p></p><p>Thanks for listening. I find this board so incredibly helpful, just reading about things others are going through. Makes me realize I am not alone, I am not crazy, and I am not a bad mother. </p><p>Karen</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Karenvm, post: 580461, member: 15766"] Hi all. After many phone calls, very little help from the psychiatrist, we finally found a residential facility that was willing to accept my son into their "diagnostic 45 day program". It is not a substance abuse program, but more mental health with some substance abuse help as well. It's called "XXXXXXX" (not sure if we are allowed to name facilities?), and is about an hour and a half from where we live. My insurance is covering it (thank goodness!). Of course, my son had to consent to go, which was not easy, but I told him he needed to go somewhere for help, and he turns 18 in June, so better to go now to a pediatric facility, than an adult facility. He signed the consents. we brought him on Monday. It's a huge place, something like 260 acres, with multiple "houses" that hold about 20 kids each, all diffentiated by the needs of that group of kids. There is a beautiful school building, where they go daily, a huge gym, pool, and the grounds themselves are just very nice and peaceful. Of course, it's still a "facility", and no 5 star hotel, but still. I felt very comfortable leaving him there. The therapist, psychiatrist, nurse practitioner, social worker all were SO wonderful. I got my first phone call from my son on Thursday night. I didn't expect it to be good, but it was really bad! He said he hates it, I "have to get him out of there", the "other kids are crazy" (yes, I am sure that many have much more significant behavioral and psychological issues than he does), and that he can't possibly stay. Of course, I told him he would adjust, and to just focus on getting the therapy he needs, and that the other kids don't have to be his "best friends". The thing is, he has been so "out of control" at home for the past year or so- eats when he wants (including in the middle of the night), stays up till all hours playing video games, sleeps late, etc. The restrictions he now has are likely very hard for him right now (bed time at 9:30 for a 17 year old is rough!), but I think that is exactly what he needs to get him back on the right path. They are going to try Depakote as a mood stabilizer, and keep him on Lexapro. And they switched him from adderall (which I hate, because of the abuse potential), to Strattera. I know in my heart he is fine, and that he needs to be there. Plus, it's SO incredibly peaceful at home- I don't walk on eggshells, wonder what his mood will be like when I get home, etc. I also know that it is probably normal for me to also feel very sad, and wonder if I am doing the right thing for him. It's just so hard to hear your child beg you to come and get him. Last night, he called again, and was just plain angry. He said that I lied to him, and that he was going to be there for three months (that is news to me- he was only accepted to the 45 day program, but of course, if he needs more therapy, he can stay as long as the insurance will cover it!). Said he will kill himself if he has to stay there. Complained about everything. I told him that he could not come home yet, and he said he hates "all of you people anyway". Ugh. I also told him that I planned to come and visit on Sunday (visiting is Sat and Sun), but that if he was just going to be rude to me, I would not be coming. He did ask that I please come, and he won't be rude. I do know that when I get there, it's going to be a begging session, him trying to convince me to get him out, which I will NOT do (I worked too hard to get him there to begin with!). My husband is not going with me to visit tomorrow (much to do at home, he will stay home with the other two kids), so I know it will be hard for me. I am very good at keeping the happy face, and being firm, even though on the inside I am dying! So many of you have stories so similar to mine, and kids that seem just like my son! I know those of you who have been in my shoes, know exactly what I am facing right now. And the doubt I am feeling about the whole situation, even as irrational as it is! Truth is, our home is so peaceful right now, and I feel guilty for enjoying it! Thanks for listening. I find this board so incredibly helpful, just reading about things others are going through. Makes me realize I am not alone, I am not crazy, and I am not a bad mother. Karen [/QUOTE]
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