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Substance Abuse
happy but sad at the same time...
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 580503" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Hi Karen - I'm so sorry for your aching mother heart, but at the same time, you do sound like you are really strong - you know this is the best option for your son. Hang on to that.</p><p></p><p>My experience with- my son in RTCs was that there was usually a period of begging, pleading, threats, and bargaining. I'd get tales of mistreatment, how he didn't need to be there, promises of better choices, yada yada yada. My very best suggestion for you would be to stay in close contact with staff. What you get on the phone is probably only a sliver of the whole picture - I was utterly *stunned* during my son's first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) stay (granted, he was much younger) when I finished a tearful pleading phone call with him and called staff back to ask them to keep an eye on him because he was in such a horrible state of mind - according to staff, my beloved son got off the phone with me, wiped away his tears, and was cheerfully playing games in the common room with his peers!! </p><p></p><p>While I know you have a long drive today, I think it's important to define your boundaries, what you will tolerate during the visit, and then if he crosses those boundaries, kiss him, tell him you love him, and leave. Keep it light. More than once I've driven over an hour to see my son, walked in, gotten nasty attitude or threats or whatever, and turned around and come home. It's important to show up and be there for him, but I think it's equally important to not be a verbal (or physical) punching bag because he's ticked over the consequences of his poor choices. in my humble opinion.</p><p></p><p>Good luck today, and hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 580503, member: 8"] Hi Karen - I'm so sorry for your aching mother heart, but at the same time, you do sound like you are really strong - you know this is the best option for your son. Hang on to that. My experience with- my son in RTCs was that there was usually a period of begging, pleading, threats, and bargaining. I'd get tales of mistreatment, how he didn't need to be there, promises of better choices, yada yada yada. My very best suggestion for you would be to stay in close contact with staff. What you get on the phone is probably only a sliver of the whole picture - I was utterly *stunned* during my son's first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) stay (granted, he was much younger) when I finished a tearful pleading phone call with him and called staff back to ask them to keep an eye on him because he was in such a horrible state of mind - according to staff, my beloved son got off the phone with me, wiped away his tears, and was cheerfully playing games in the common room with his peers!! While I know you have a long drive today, I think it's important to define your boundaries, what you will tolerate during the visit, and then if he crosses those boundaries, kiss him, tell him you love him, and leave. Keep it light. More than once I've driven over an hour to see my son, walked in, gotten nasty attitude or threats or whatever, and turned around and come home. It's important to show up and be there for him, but I think it's equally important to not be a verbal (or physical) punching bag because he's ticked over the consequences of his poor choices. in my humble opinion. Good luck today, and hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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