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Hard, hard day today
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<blockquote data-quote="BackintheSaddle" data-source="post: 619831" data-attributes="member: 17503"><p>Hello COM, I'm so sorry for your day today...I can very much relate to crying everywhere I turn, including church, and not being able to find my footing some days...I did want to suggest 2 potential ways of coping (other than the good ideas here)....you can take that stuff you want to give him, put them in a pillow case, and drop them off at the jail-- write his name with a sharpie on the outside of the case...they'll search it and give it to him and in the case, put a note so you can tell him that you wanted him to have it to help him get started in his life and that he can't return home at this point so to not show up at your door...and then, have you considered being gone somewhere? can you stay at a friend's or family member's house for a few nights? I'm certain you can have the jail call you when they know his release date (if you had a restraining order, most states require that they notify you-- but that sounds like a major step right now that I know I couldn't do and suspect it's too overwhelming for you too right now)...go somewhere or have someone stay with you so you don't feel as stressed being in your own home...I suspect part of your crying and having a bad day is the anxiety of knowing the 'big day' is coming-- how will he act? how will you respond? can you be strong enough to face up to him and tell him to leave (these are the things I'd be worrying about anyway!)-- and if you remove yourself from having to be 'present' for it, that should immediately make you feel better...is there somewhere you can go to get away but still do what you need to do for yourself?-- or maybe it's as simple as having your husband answer the door and you remaining in the bedroom...there are lots of ways like that where you can distance yourself from seeing him and having to be the one to explicitly tell him 'leave' which is really hard to do...</p><p> </p><p>I'm so very sorry for you and hope you're finding some peace-- and precious sleep-- tonight.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BackintheSaddle, post: 619831, member: 17503"] Hello COM, I'm so sorry for your day today...I can very much relate to crying everywhere I turn, including church, and not being able to find my footing some days...I did want to suggest 2 potential ways of coping (other than the good ideas here)....you can take that stuff you want to give him, put them in a pillow case, and drop them off at the jail-- write his name with a sharpie on the outside of the case...they'll search it and give it to him and in the case, put a note so you can tell him that you wanted him to have it to help him get started in his life and that he can't return home at this point so to not show up at your door...and then, have you considered being gone somewhere? can you stay at a friend's or family member's house for a few nights? I'm certain you can have the jail call you when they know his release date (if you had a restraining order, most states require that they notify you-- but that sounds like a major step right now that I know I couldn't do and suspect it's too overwhelming for you too right now)...go somewhere or have someone stay with you so you don't feel as stressed being in your own home...I suspect part of your crying and having a bad day is the anxiety of knowing the 'big day' is coming-- how will he act? how will you respond? can you be strong enough to face up to him and tell him to leave (these are the things I'd be worrying about anyway!)-- and if you remove yourself from having to be 'present' for it, that should immediately make you feel better...is there somewhere you can go to get away but still do what you need to do for yourself?-- or maybe it's as simple as having your husband answer the door and you remaining in the bedroom...there are lots of ways like that where you can distance yourself from seeing him and having to be the one to explicitly tell him 'leave' which is really hard to do... I'm so very sorry for you and hope you're finding some peace-- and precious sleep-- tonight. [/QUOTE]
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