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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Harsh words and a tough order-how do we play this?
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<blockquote data-quote="skeeter" data-source="post: 22386" data-attributes="member: 439"><p>CA mom - please don't take this the wrong way......</p><p></p><p>..... but are you getting any therapy or support?</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you just are having such a tough time with what is LEGALLY required of your son. I capitalized LEGALLY because this is NOT your choice, or your son's choice, or whatever. This is the PENALTY he must pay because he broke the law.</p><p></p><p>I really think it would be helpful to you to have a therapist or someone you can talk with who will help give you coping mechanisms, help you to turn away from enabling, etc.</p><p></p><p>This is not something you can change, this is not something you can make better. This is something your son MUST work through, as required by law. And if the law says "no contact" then that's what should be. "No gifts", then follow that.</p><p></p><p>You know this, but gifts, etc. are NOT how to show your son love. My kids would NEVER tell me something isn't "fair". That's because they already know my response; "Life isn't fair, get used to it". They also know what my response is to "you don't love me because you didn't......" My job isn't to be their friend, or buy them things, or make them happy. My job, as a parent, is to raise them to be self sufficent, contributing members of society.</p><p></p><p>Please, I'm not trying to be harsh, and I can hear your hurt and pain. I'm really think YOU need some help to get through this, and help to get some coping skills for the few months ahead.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="skeeter, post: 22386, member: 439"] CA mom - please don't take this the wrong way...... ..... but are you getting any therapy or support? It sounds like you just are having such a tough time with what is LEGALLY required of your son. I capitalized LEGALLY because this is NOT your choice, or your son's choice, or whatever. This is the PENALTY he must pay because he broke the law. I really think it would be helpful to you to have a therapist or someone you can talk with who will help give you coping mechanisms, help you to turn away from enabling, etc. This is not something you can change, this is not something you can make better. This is something your son MUST work through, as required by law. And if the law says "no contact" then that's what should be. "No gifts", then follow that. You know this, but gifts, etc. are NOT how to show your son love. My kids would NEVER tell me something isn't "fair". That's because they already know my response; "Life isn't fair, get used to it". They also know what my response is to "you don't love me because you didn't......" My job isn't to be their friend, or buy them things, or make them happy. My job, as a parent, is to raise them to be self sufficent, contributing members of society. Please, I'm not trying to be harsh, and I can hear your hurt and pain. I'm really think YOU need some help to get through this, and help to get some coping skills for the few months ahead. [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
Harsh words and a tough order-how do we play this?
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