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Substance Abuse
Harsh words and a tough order-how do we play this?
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<blockquote data-quote="SunnyFlorida" data-source="post: 22868" data-attributes="member: 696"><p>It is liberating to throw "pat answers" back to difficult child and let difficult child make the decisions. </p><p></p><p>Our job was to get them to this point that they can make decisions. Many of our difficult child's on the way though picked up some bad habits like not following rules and deciding that they want to run the world around themselves. This is not compatable with society. An infant? yes, a toddler? to a point, a teen? no way!.</p><p></p><p>Too often the difficult child finds that they can manipulate school, home, work, friends, everyone who they are associated with. They continue to manipulate until they are stopped. Problem with our difficult child's is that stoppage is sometimes the law which ends in a negative consequence to which the difficult child turns it around and blames us.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't sound like your difficult child has issues that are preventing him from learning, ie he's not MR, no delays (so to speak). So....if his cognitive ability allows him to learn then he is also able to make choices.</p><p></p><p>Use the link to see the "pat answers" that Suz gave. The rest of the posters are "right on the money".</p><p></p><p>Is it hard for us "mommies"? yep, that's our babies out there, our mommy heart hurts when they whine and complain. Our natural instinct is to help. RESIST. :smile:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SunnyFlorida, post: 22868, member: 696"] It is liberating to throw "pat answers" back to difficult child and let difficult child make the decisions. Our job was to get them to this point that they can make decisions. Many of our difficult child's on the way though picked up some bad habits like not following rules and deciding that they want to run the world around themselves. This is not compatable with society. An infant? yes, a toddler? to a point, a teen? no way!. Too often the difficult child finds that they can manipulate school, home, work, friends, everyone who they are associated with. They continue to manipulate until they are stopped. Problem with our difficult child's is that stoppage is sometimes the law which ends in a negative consequence to which the difficult child turns it around and blames us. It doesn't sound like your difficult child has issues that are preventing him from learning, ie he's not MR, no delays (so to speak). So....if his cognitive ability allows him to learn then he is also able to make choices. Use the link to see the "pat answers" that Suz gave. The rest of the posters are "right on the money". Is it hard for us "mommies"? yep, that's our babies out there, our mommy heart hurts when they whine and complain. Our natural instinct is to help. RESIST. [img]:smile:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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Harsh words and a tough order-how do we play this?
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