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Has a family members mental illness induced a form of PTSD for you?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 298141"><p>Welcome...and hugs right off the bat!!!!</p><p> </p><p>With reference to the title of your post...the answer is YES!</p><p> </p><p>One thought that came to me from the onset of your post, is your therapist's job or "contract" if you will was to work with you. So he (or she) had an obligation to help you face your burdens and figure out coping mechnisms so that you can react in an appropriate manner. In a manner, that would not be destructive or lead to depression. Your therapist can not change the difficulties you faced (or face). True, your burdens are enormous. This fact can not change. He can not change your mother. He can only help you not be ruled by your emotions...not be ruled by the difficulties that you face.</p><p> </p><p>My heart really goes out to you...no doubt life with a mother with this illness...especially one that was not able to parent you appropriately which resulted in you having to stay in foster care, must have been tremendous.</p><p> </p><p>Personally, I think you have every right to want a healthy, satisfying and happy life. This is a great thing!</p><p> </p><p>It is entirely possible that you might have to put some distance or limits between yourself and members of your extended family who suffer with mental illness...especially those who are unmedicated or who are dispresctful to you or your famly.</p><p> </p><p>Sometimes this requires some thought and some creativity...but it can be done.</p><p> </p><p>One thng that is a little tricky is learning to detach emotionally from it all. </p><p> </p><p>Understand that even those with mental illness, especially when they become adults, can chose to take their medication and go to therapy and have healthy relationships. Sure, perhaps it is more of a struggle for this population, but it is not an impossible task, just a harder one. You do not have to wait around forever and be damaged in the process.</p><p> </p><p>Are you going to therapy yourself currently? No need to be a hermit. Perhaps you just have the type of personality that leans in this direction?????</p><p> </p><p>If it is something you are doing on purpose...it might be something to talk with- a therapist about. Trust your instincts. If you meet people who seem happy and healthy to you, it might be appropriate to let them in just a tad into your life.</p><p> </p><p>Good for you that you want to be close to your immediate family...keep your relationship healthy. Do fun things. And have no shame in limiting relationships with your Family of Origin...esp. if they are in an unhealthy place. You might provide some assistance here and there or some contact here and there, but you are under no obligation to make it a regular "thing." For ex: have caller ID on the phone and don't always answer. If it is convenient for you to answer...if not DON'T. If they have been acting inappropriately recently...don't answer. You make the decision if you are going to get involved at that point in time.</p><p> </p><p>I totally agree, push the drama in the far background. Enjoy life...keep your household healthy and happy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 298141"] Welcome...and hugs right off the bat!!!! With reference to the title of your post...the answer is YES! One thought that came to me from the onset of your post, is your therapist's job or "contract" if you will was to work with you. So he (or she) had an obligation to help you face your burdens and figure out coping mechnisms so that you can react in an appropriate manner. In a manner, that would not be destructive or lead to depression. Your therapist can not change the difficulties you faced (or face). True, your burdens are enormous. This fact can not change. He can not change your mother. He can only help you not be ruled by your emotions...not be ruled by the difficulties that you face. My heart really goes out to you...no doubt life with a mother with this illness...especially one that was not able to parent you appropriately which resulted in you having to stay in foster care, must have been tremendous. Personally, I think you have every right to want a healthy, satisfying and happy life. This is a great thing! It is entirely possible that you might have to put some distance or limits between yourself and members of your extended family who suffer with mental illness...especially those who are unmedicated or who are dispresctful to you or your famly. Sometimes this requires some thought and some creativity...but it can be done. One thng that is a little tricky is learning to detach emotionally from it all. Understand that even those with mental illness, especially when they become adults, can chose to take their medication and go to therapy and have healthy relationships. Sure, perhaps it is more of a struggle for this population, but it is not an impossible task, just a harder one. You do not have to wait around forever and be damaged in the process. Are you going to therapy yourself currently? No need to be a hermit. Perhaps you just have the type of personality that leans in this direction????? If it is something you are doing on purpose...it might be something to talk with- a therapist about. Trust your instincts. If you meet people who seem happy and healthy to you, it might be appropriate to let them in just a tad into your life. Good for you that you want to be close to your immediate family...keep your relationship healthy. Do fun things. And have no shame in limiting relationships with your Family of Origin...esp. if they are in an unhealthy place. You might provide some assistance here and there or some contact here and there, but you are under no obligation to make it a regular "thing." For ex: have caller ID on the phone and don't always answer. If it is convenient for you to answer...if not DON'T. If they have been acting inappropriately recently...don't answer. You make the decision if you are going to get involved at that point in time. I totally agree, push the drama in the far background. Enjoy life...keep your household healthy and happy. [/QUOTE]
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Has a family members mental illness induced a form of PTSD for you?
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