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Has a family members mental illness induced a form of PTSD for you?
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 298286" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>I've been thinking about this thread ever since you posted it. While I don't experience quite what you described, I do have what I guess is PTSD but in regards to alchol. My mother on the other hand, I think has PTSD from putting up with one of her sisters her entire life. She will not go to things if she knows her sister will be there because you never know what kind of mood my aunt will be in. If my aunt calls my mom, a lot of times Mom just lets the machine get the call. There have just been too many times over many years when my aunt has, either in person or over the phone, been a raving, spitting, screaming mess and Mom is understandably tired of dealing with it. As she gets older, she increasingly hates being around people, she doesn't do much although a lot of that is also due to health issues. But for the most part, she's more than content to stay home and visit over the phone.</p><p></p><p>As for me, I grew up in an alcoholic household that also had cycles of violence. When my step-dad drank, he got mean. Sometimes he was ok and sometimes even when he was mean, things wouldn't get violent. But when it did, it was ugly. Yelling, screaming, him chasing mom through the house.....the whole bit. There was even one night where it escalated to the point that there was a pile of belongings of mine and mom's were in a huge pile in the front yard because step-dad had grabbed what he could find and chucked it out the front door. Mom hid me under laundry behind the washer because step-dad also had a gun, had shot mom's face out of pictures in the house and wouldn't put the gun down. After he disappeared outside (we lived in the country) mom called the sheriff's department who eventually took us to one of Mom's friend's house. We found out later that step-dad had passed out in the corn field around our house. That was one of two times that mom and step-dad split up. I must mention though....they are still together and are doing great. Step-dad quit drinking within a few years of me leaving the house at 18 and as his dark side only showed up with the alcohol, he and mom have a very close relationship now. I joke sometimes that he quit drinking and totally messed up my attitude. We make fun of him at times too. One of his friends showed up once with a bottle of peach wine. SD drank some (<u>maybe</u> half a bottle) and woke up the next day with such a terrible hangover that he said he didn't know how the blank he used to do that like he did. </p><p></p><p>To this day though, even in an alcohol free environment or setting, one small noise can bring it all back. A heavy footstep on a floor that squeaks like ours did, a tone of voice, a smell...at times, it doesn't take much. In situations like that where there's no alcohol and nothing "risky" is going on, I'm fine and it's just a memory trigger. But there have been times where I instantly go back to that mindset, usually at a party or somewhere there are a lot of people and alcohol. I'll find myself feeling increasingly nervous and will do what I did as a child. I'll sit/stand as still as I can possibly get and will myself to blend into the back ground. If no one notices me, then I won't get yelled at or drawn into anything. But if I'm in that kind of a situation, I leave. There's no point in putting myself through that just to watch people drink and make idiots of themselves.</p><p></p><p>For me and my particular triggers, I can usually very easily avoid them. husband and I have friends who have varying degrees of alcohol consumption. Some either don't drink or drink in moderation and/or only socially. Others drink heavily and still others are somewhere in the middle. I know how they get when drinking or when drinking in certain situations. As a result, I have a pretty easy time of picking and choosing who I go to parties/events with or under what situations I will socially see certain people. </p><p></p><p>We can all do what we can to reasonably avoid our triggers but sometimes it just doesn't work. I used to have a neighbor who was a severe and at times, violent alcoholic. We didn't associate with him so it should have been easy to avoid him. But, I can think of a couple of times where he was stumbling down the street, falling down drunk at 10 in the morning. For others, if mental illness is their trigger the same applies. You can choose your social events carefully, choose to live in a secluded or quiet area, avoid certain things/people but it isn't always a sure thing. </p><p></p><p>I think though, that the best things people can do for themselves in these situations are these:</p><p></p><p>If the PTSD/worry/stress affects normal, everyday living, get a therapist or counselor and learn how to handle things in a healthier way, face your fears and/or deal with the cause of it if that's applicable.</p><p></p><p>Find a good compromise between avoidance and living your life in the way you want to. As I said, in my case I can usually determine situations or events that would upset me and avoid them. (even though I once waitressed in a bar....go figure) I also realize and accept though, that I may not always be right. Things happen and anywhere I go there could be some drunk person with a chip on his/her shoulder, just as there could be an unstable person in the toilet paper aisle at the grocery store. </p><p></p><p>The key is to not let the fear get the better of us. Live where you prefer, limit your activities if you want but don't quit living. Know what I mean?? It's kind of like people who refuse to leave their houses for fear that something terrible will happen. Granted, in cases like that, the person needs therapy but at the same time.....freak things happen. But if we spent all of our time worrying about the what if's, we miss the times when the what if's never happened.</p><p></p><p>I guess to answer your question...yes, there are others out there like you. We may have different causes/triggers, but we are there. We just can't let our past get in the way of our present and future.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 298286, member: 2459"] I've been thinking about this thread ever since you posted it. While I don't experience quite what you described, I do have what I guess is PTSD but in regards to alchol. My mother on the other hand, I think has PTSD from putting up with one of her sisters her entire life. She will not go to things if she knows her sister will be there because you never know what kind of mood my aunt will be in. If my aunt calls my mom, a lot of times Mom just lets the machine get the call. There have just been too many times over many years when my aunt has, either in person or over the phone, been a raving, spitting, screaming mess and Mom is understandably tired of dealing with it. As she gets older, she increasingly hates being around people, she doesn't do much although a lot of that is also due to health issues. But for the most part, she's more than content to stay home and visit over the phone. As for me, I grew up in an alcoholic household that also had cycles of violence. When my step-dad drank, he got mean. Sometimes he was ok and sometimes even when he was mean, things wouldn't get violent. But when it did, it was ugly. Yelling, screaming, him chasing mom through the house.....the whole bit. There was even one night where it escalated to the point that there was a pile of belongings of mine and mom's were in a huge pile in the front yard because step-dad had grabbed what he could find and chucked it out the front door. Mom hid me under laundry behind the washer because step-dad also had a gun, had shot mom's face out of pictures in the house and wouldn't put the gun down. After he disappeared outside (we lived in the country) mom called the sheriff's department who eventually took us to one of Mom's friend's house. We found out later that step-dad had passed out in the corn field around our house. That was one of two times that mom and step-dad split up. I must mention though....they are still together and are doing great. Step-dad quit drinking within a few years of me leaving the house at 18 and as his dark side only showed up with the alcohol, he and mom have a very close relationship now. I joke sometimes that he quit drinking and totally messed up my attitude. We make fun of him at times too. One of his friends showed up once with a bottle of peach wine. SD drank some ([U]maybe[/U] half a bottle) and woke up the next day with such a terrible hangover that he said he didn't know how the blank he used to do that like he did. To this day though, even in an alcohol free environment or setting, one small noise can bring it all back. A heavy footstep on a floor that squeaks like ours did, a tone of voice, a smell...at times, it doesn't take much. In situations like that where there's no alcohol and nothing "risky" is going on, I'm fine and it's just a memory trigger. But there have been times where I instantly go back to that mindset, usually at a party or somewhere there are a lot of people and alcohol. I'll find myself feeling increasingly nervous and will do what I did as a child. I'll sit/stand as still as I can possibly get and will myself to blend into the back ground. If no one notices me, then I won't get yelled at or drawn into anything. But if I'm in that kind of a situation, I leave. There's no point in putting myself through that just to watch people drink and make idiots of themselves. For me and my particular triggers, I can usually very easily avoid them. husband and I have friends who have varying degrees of alcohol consumption. Some either don't drink or drink in moderation and/or only socially. Others drink heavily and still others are somewhere in the middle. I know how they get when drinking or when drinking in certain situations. As a result, I have a pretty easy time of picking and choosing who I go to parties/events with or under what situations I will socially see certain people. We can all do what we can to reasonably avoid our triggers but sometimes it just doesn't work. I used to have a neighbor who was a severe and at times, violent alcoholic. We didn't associate with him so it should have been easy to avoid him. But, I can think of a couple of times where he was stumbling down the street, falling down drunk at 10 in the morning. For others, if mental illness is their trigger the same applies. You can choose your social events carefully, choose to live in a secluded or quiet area, avoid certain things/people but it isn't always a sure thing. I think though, that the best things people can do for themselves in these situations are these: If the PTSD/worry/stress affects normal, everyday living, get a therapist or counselor and learn how to handle things in a healthier way, face your fears and/or deal with the cause of it if that's applicable. Find a good compromise between avoidance and living your life in the way you want to. As I said, in my case I can usually determine situations or events that would upset me and avoid them. (even though I once waitressed in a bar....go figure) I also realize and accept though, that I may not always be right. Things happen and anywhere I go there could be some drunk person with a chip on his/her shoulder, just as there could be an unstable person in the toilet paper aisle at the grocery store. The key is to not let the fear get the better of us. Live where you prefer, limit your activities if you want but don't quit living. Know what I mean?? It's kind of like people who refuse to leave their houses for fear that something terrible will happen. Granted, in cases like that, the person needs therapy but at the same time.....freak things happen. But if we spent all of our time worrying about the what if's, we miss the times when the what if's never happened. I guess to answer your question...yes, there are others out there like you. We may have different causes/triggers, but we are there. We just can't let our past get in the way of our present and future. [/QUOTE]
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Has a family members mental illness induced a form of PTSD for you?
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