Has anyone been an inmate for the sake of their kid?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Lucedaleblessed, Jun 5, 2009.

  1. On of my former colleagues moved to Florida and her difficult child have problems attending school, so she had entered a program where she takes classes and then have to go to a weekend camp.


    She has to sign a waiver where she and her son both have to enter the jail and wear orange prison uniforms.

    Of course she is nervous and I have to ask. Have any of you attended the program or gone to jail as a part of helping your child?
  2. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I did. We took a tour of the jail, the police dept set this program up for kids who get into trouble alot. He had to wear the jumpsuit and inmates and others talked to him (yelled at him), he saw the living arrangements on the various floors, from people being kept isolated in a cell the size of a closet, in the dark -to a dorm setting where there are about 50 men in one room. These men were mean, and VERY mean to difficult child and the other kids. After seeing this, your difficult child will have a newer understanding of the consequences of his difficult child ways. They don't understand jail, until they actually see it. It's a wake-up for a difficult child, go!
  3. But in Florida the mother has to wear orange too. Did you do that?
  4. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I've never heard of a program where the parents are part of the jail visit - there's a lot of liability issues there. Was the mother cited for not making the son go to school?

    I work in a close security State prison and we used to have a program like that for kids, but they just spent the day there, didn't stay over. It was loosely based on the "Scared Straight" programs. It was for kids considered to be "at risk" or boys from various wilderness programs. It was all very closely controlled (but the kids didn't know that). They would bring in a busload of them, some of them strutting around and full of bravado, and take them in to a conference room in the admin building where they were lectured about what to do and what not to do when they were taken inside. Then they were shook down, given little tags to wear, and taken inside. The look on some of their faces when those heavy metal trap gates slammed closed behind them was priceless! They'd take them on a tour of the facility, right through the yard and compound, where the inmates did their part by hooting and yelling and whistling at them. For most of them, that alone would have been enough! They visited some of the regular housing units and then they went to the maximum security building where they were each locked into little max security cells and given their lunch (in a styrofoam tray, plastic spoon to eat with). Then they'd kind of take their time about letting them out, which convinced even the hardcore ones that they didn't want to be there!

    When they finally let them out, they'd bring them back to the admin conference room and they had five or six (very carefully selected) inmates come in and talk to them. They were all trustees and really good inmates but the kids didn't know that. One guy is about 6'7" and covered in tattoos. They didn't yell at them but they were brutally honest with them and told them exactly how it was, and where they were headed and how they needed to straighten up their act. The program was very, very effective but unfortunately it was discontinued because they were afraid of the liability and possible legal issues. It's a shame too.
  5. She entered what they local court system calls the "Empowered parent program" because difficult child was facing a stint in juvie and she would be billed for his time (I wonder why they do that as parents are not encourged to help when they are charged hundreds of dollars for their child when they turn them in).

    So the court allowed her to enter the program which consist of parenting classes and the weekend wilderness program with a jail tour included.

    I googled and found the homepage of Camp Consequence.

    She has to be up at 4:30 Saturday morning and take part in all the tasks. The only different between parents and children are that parents can bring snacks if they hide them from the children.

    It is an alternative way of doing things, but it is court approved etc.

    It is also cheap and while I could be tempted because I have too few money for a residential program and asking the police would be equal to loosing my child to system, I would absolutely fear going to jail even if it is only for a part of the day.
  6. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    When we went, the child had to be with a parent. We were part of the visit, but stood back when the kids were spoken to, and entering the rooms. We were just sort of there but in the backround. I know that this program was made up by our local police officers in conjunction with the jail. It didn't have a formal name like Scared Straight, but it was along those lines. I wore my street clothes, difficult child did not, he wore the jumpsuit. At one place we went into, the kids were protected by glass, but the inmates were all over that glass, jumping,yelling, and talking "stuff" about what they were gonna do to the kids. I was crying, it was too much.
  7. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I highly recommend this type of thing, let him get scared of jail. It may motivate him to make better decisions with his life. It will be ok, a small taste of what it's like that he will never forget, I haven't.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I have not done anything like this. Crossing my fingers it will never be needed.

    There is a show called 30 Days that shows a person living in a situation that is not one they know. The person is there for 30 days.

    The show is created by Morgan Spurlock, the guy who did the movie about Supersizing.

    If you go to www.hulu.com and then click on tv and then on browse you can find 30 days listed. If you look through the seasons offered, there is one where Morgan spends 30 days in jail. He is quite open about everything. I have found this fascinating.

    It might help you or the other parent to see what goes on.