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Has anyone else ever had to press domestic violence charges on difficult child?
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 634547" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>GuideME --- YES. When our son was 15 (1 wk shy of 16), his friend revealed to me her concern about his meth use. That was our first notice of hard drugs (he still does hard drugs). My husband found our son at his friend's house across the street and told him to come home now. Son at first agreed, then went into full-on rage mode -- shoving and swinging at my husband in our front yard.</p><p></p><p>I ran into our house and called 911. (ALWAYS KEEP PHONE IN HAND DURING CRISIS -- NO MATTER WHAT)</p><p></p><p>Police came quickly (we live in a good community for police assistance and our difficult child was already well-known by police since age 10 for a variety of problems and charges). difficult child escalated and fought police, physically. Managed to escape them and run off. While we were looking for him, he ran back inside our house and locked all doors -- locking us and police out.</p><p></p><p>Eventually, police convinced him to unlock door (to my surprise) and they arrested him on DV-Assault charges. WE DID NOT PRESS THE CHARGES, THE POLICE DID. Apparently, in our state, any time someone is 16 (our difficult child was only 1 week away from turning 16 and already a long legal history), DV charges are automatically pressed by The State. States differ greatly on DV protocols.</p><p></p><p>difficult child went to jail for 16 days -- including his 16th b-day. difficult child got snide with judge and complained he shouldn't be forced to be in jail on his b-day. Judge got snide back and offered to double or triple difficult child's sentence. difficult child stopped complaining. Judge was ready to release difficult child to probation, but I insisted on formal Drug Assessment. Judge agreed. difficult child was assessed and determined to need long-term in-pt rehab (dual diagnosis -- mental health and polysubstance abuse). difficult child spent 105 days doing in-pt rehab. Did not complete program (most complete program in 90 days, but difficult child was non-compliant). When our insurance and $$$ ran out, difficult child was released on probation.</p><p></p><p>He came home with us and lasted about 10 days before another police incident. After obtaining permission from his probation officer (she was a good one -- we requested a switch and # 2 was a good one), she released him from having to live with us. He was just 16. He has lived with us twice (briefly -- 2-3 wks?) since then before police came each time. That was it......we drew the line and he has not, does not, and will not live with us again.</p><p></p><p>All issues continue in similar fashion, 8 yrs later.</p><p></p><p>** Although no lasting changes have occurred, the best short-term changes (for both difficult child and us -- his parents) came because of legal intervention. WE HAVE A RIGHT TO OUR SAFETY!</p><p></p><p>GuideMe -- Sending you positive thoughts, prayers, and best wishes for peace and safety!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 634547, member: 18284"] GuideME --- YES. When our son was 15 (1 wk shy of 16), his friend revealed to me her concern about his meth use. That was our first notice of hard drugs (he still does hard drugs). My husband found our son at his friend's house across the street and told him to come home now. Son at first agreed, then went into full-on rage mode -- shoving and swinging at my husband in our front yard. I ran into our house and called 911. (ALWAYS KEEP PHONE IN HAND DURING CRISIS -- NO MATTER WHAT) Police came quickly (we live in a good community for police assistance and our difficult child was already well-known by police since age 10 for a variety of problems and charges). difficult child escalated and fought police, physically. Managed to escape them and run off. While we were looking for him, he ran back inside our house and locked all doors -- locking us and police out. Eventually, police convinced him to unlock door (to my surprise) and they arrested him on DV-Assault charges. WE DID NOT PRESS THE CHARGES, THE POLICE DID. Apparently, in our state, any time someone is 16 (our difficult child was only 1 week away from turning 16 and already a long legal history), DV charges are automatically pressed by The State. States differ greatly on DV protocols. difficult child went to jail for 16 days -- including his 16th b-day. difficult child got snide with judge and complained he shouldn't be forced to be in jail on his b-day. Judge got snide back and offered to double or triple difficult child's sentence. difficult child stopped complaining. Judge was ready to release difficult child to probation, but I insisted on formal Drug Assessment. Judge agreed. difficult child was assessed and determined to need long-term in-pt rehab (dual diagnosis -- mental health and polysubstance abuse). difficult child spent 105 days doing in-pt rehab. Did not complete program (most complete program in 90 days, but difficult child was non-compliant). When our insurance and $$$ ran out, difficult child was released on probation. He came home with us and lasted about 10 days before another police incident. After obtaining permission from his probation officer (she was a good one -- we requested a switch and # 2 was a good one), she released him from having to live with us. He was just 16. He has lived with us twice (briefly -- 2-3 wks?) since then before police came each time. That was it......we drew the line and he has not, does not, and will not live with us again. All issues continue in similar fashion, 8 yrs later. ** Although no lasting changes have occurred, the best short-term changes (for both difficult child and us -- his parents) came because of legal intervention. WE HAVE A RIGHT TO OUR SAFETY! GuideMe -- Sending you positive thoughts, prayers, and best wishes for peace and safety! [/QUOTE]
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