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has anyone moved to give their difficult child a new start?
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 388740" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>We moved to another country when difficult child 1 was starting high school. It wasn't specifically to give him a new start, but we talked about how it would provide that for him.</p><p>He found the drug users in his school and developed a major substance abuse problem. He hooked up with kids who were into weird and disgusting stuff. </p><p>We moved back to our original location due to a job change, but took the job partly in order to get difficult child 1 away from the people he'd been associating with. </p><p>He continued to have alcohol/drug problems. He does change to 'fit' whatever crowd he's with, so that if he's with good people, he'll stay clean and sober and do well</p><p>for quite some time. If he's with people who do bad things, he does bad things. </p><p>I agree with Suz; difficult child's tend to find difficult child's no matter where they are. Your son needs to make his new start either right where he is, i.e. find clean and sober and </p><p>law-abiding people in your small town and work to merit their trust, or he needs to move himself to a situation (probably structured) where he will do the same thing.</p><p>In either case, I would not uproot yourselves before you're ready. When you move, it should be for your own reasons. If you move sooner for your son, you may end up</p><p>with huge resentment if/when he continues his difficult child behaviors. It's not fair to either side. </p><p>Just my 0.02.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 388740, member: 2884"] We moved to another country when difficult child 1 was starting high school. It wasn't specifically to give him a new start, but we talked about how it would provide that for him. He found the drug users in his school and developed a major substance abuse problem. He hooked up with kids who were into weird and disgusting stuff. We moved back to our original location due to a job change, but took the job partly in order to get difficult child 1 away from the people he'd been associating with. He continued to have alcohol/drug problems. He does change to 'fit' whatever crowd he's with, so that if he's with good people, he'll stay clean and sober and do well for quite some time. If he's with people who do bad things, he does bad things. I agree with Suz; difficult child's tend to find difficult child's no matter where they are. Your son needs to make his new start either right where he is, i.e. find clean and sober and law-abiding people in your small town and work to merit their trust, or he needs to move himself to a situation (probably structured) where he will do the same thing. In either case, I would not uproot yourselves before you're ready. When you move, it should be for your own reasons. If you move sooner for your son, you may end up with huge resentment if/when he continues his difficult child behaviors. It's not fair to either side. Just my 0.02. [/QUOTE]
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has anyone moved to give their difficult child a new start?
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