Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
has anyone moved to give their difficult child a new start?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="FlowerGarden" data-source="post: 390192" data-attributes="member: 3068"><p>Thanks everyone for your responses and input. difficult child has changed tremendously. 2 1/2 years ago, we had the police here all the time. He wouldn't go to school and when he did he cut classes, destructive rage, mood swings, heavy alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and disrespectful. The psychiatrist and counselors told us he was "saveable". We haven't had the police here in 2 yrs. The rages, etc. have stopped completely. He was to take another year of high school to meet the graduation requirements, but he asked to take on more work to be able to graduate with his class. I can proudly say he did graduate with his original class.</p><p>Is he perfect? No, but working towards it. The mental health staff told us that he will slide at times but to watch to see how he handles the situation. They told us to watch closely to see if he uses any skills he was taught to handle the situation. If he does slip but uses his skills to adjust, work with him. If he doesn't, we should have him leave.</p><p></p><p>Generally, he has a very mature way of thinking things out. He tried college, living at home, because he always has had a separation anxiety. He felt going away would trigger more anxiety. He did not do well in college with his grades. He could do the classwork but when it came to tests, he froze. He even helps his friends do their college homework and gets it right.</p><p></p><p>He started looking for a job but the economy and his reputation worked against him. He was able to pick up odd jobs here and there and actually found a job he really enjoyed doing and is trying to persue. In the meantime, he did do something very wrong in the beginning of the year and got himself put on probation. difficult child was instructed to handle it on his own and it was his one and only "mistake" we would tolerate. Anything else happens and he is out of our home. difficult child did handle it all on his own and understands we mean what we said about being out.</p><p></p><p>At the same time, he found a regular job. I have met his bosses and they are so pleased with difficult child. They say he is a hard worker, goes above and beyond, and they have given him more hours and more responsibilities. They also like that he makes himself available to them if they need him last minute to come to work. He gives up what he is doing to go to work.</p><p></p><p>difficult child would like to try going back to college but take only one class, along with working. He thinks maybe his test anxiety might be less if he just concentrates on one subject. I am happy with this because he is using a skill he was taught by his former counselors. He is breaking things down into smaller pieces to be able to handle it better. He's not retreating or giving up completely.</p><p></p><p>He just keeps getting reminded of how he was, about his reputation, etc. He also has the police following him around alot. If anything happens, they suspect him right away. People don't want to associate with him because of his past.</p><p></p><p>He went on vacation with us to see the area we are looking to retire to. He went just to get away from his friends and his reputation. He liked the area. He would like to find a job there and attend college there to get a new start. He is just afraid of going away by himself. He wants to have someone near him because of that old separation anxiety. He has been doing so well, I want him to continue to get better. He actually does things for us without our asking, He will surprise us and do MANY chores around the house without being asked. He actually wants to do things with us now. He talks with us. We would like to see him keep on getting better. It's just such a gamble. </p><p>Thanks so much for all you have shared with me on this subject. I appreciate it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FlowerGarden, post: 390192, member: 3068"] Thanks everyone for your responses and input. difficult child has changed tremendously. 2 1/2 years ago, we had the police here all the time. He wouldn't go to school and when he did he cut classes, destructive rage, mood swings, heavy alcohol abuse, drug abuse, and disrespectful. The psychiatrist and counselors told us he was "saveable". We haven't had the police here in 2 yrs. The rages, etc. have stopped completely. He was to take another year of high school to meet the graduation requirements, but he asked to take on more work to be able to graduate with his class. I can proudly say he did graduate with his original class. Is he perfect? No, but working towards it. The mental health staff told us that he will slide at times but to watch to see how he handles the situation. They told us to watch closely to see if he uses any skills he was taught to handle the situation. If he does slip but uses his skills to adjust, work with him. If he doesn't, we should have him leave. Generally, he has a very mature way of thinking things out. He tried college, living at home, because he always has had a separation anxiety. He felt going away would trigger more anxiety. He did not do well in college with his grades. He could do the classwork but when it came to tests, he froze. He even helps his friends do their college homework and gets it right. He started looking for a job but the economy and his reputation worked against him. He was able to pick up odd jobs here and there and actually found a job he really enjoyed doing and is trying to persue. In the meantime, he did do something very wrong in the beginning of the year and got himself put on probation. difficult child was instructed to handle it on his own and it was his one and only "mistake" we would tolerate. Anything else happens and he is out of our home. difficult child did handle it all on his own and understands we mean what we said about being out. At the same time, he found a regular job. I have met his bosses and they are so pleased with difficult child. They say he is a hard worker, goes above and beyond, and they have given him more hours and more responsibilities. They also like that he makes himself available to them if they need him last minute to come to work. He gives up what he is doing to go to work. difficult child would like to try going back to college but take only one class, along with working. He thinks maybe his test anxiety might be less if he just concentrates on one subject. I am happy with this because he is using a skill he was taught by his former counselors. He is breaking things down into smaller pieces to be able to handle it better. He's not retreating or giving up completely. He just keeps getting reminded of how he was, about his reputation, etc. He also has the police following him around alot. If anything happens, they suspect him right away. People don't want to associate with him because of his past. He went on vacation with us to see the area we are looking to retire to. He went just to get away from his friends and his reputation. He liked the area. He would like to find a job there and attend college there to get a new start. He is just afraid of going away by himself. He wants to have someone near him because of that old separation anxiety. He has been doing so well, I want him to continue to get better. He actually does things for us without our asking, He will surprise us and do MANY chores around the house without being asked. He actually wants to do things with us now. He talks with us. We would like to see him keep on getting better. It's just such a gamble. Thanks so much for all you have shared with me on this subject. I appreciate it. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
has anyone moved to give their difficult child a new start?
Top