Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Has my difficult child woken up from her long sleep? (long post!)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 525379" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thank you. It's unlikely that my difficult child will go to therapy, I would just love it if she did, but, she does not believe in therapy and that is one of those dreams I had to let go of. However, you mentioned my granddaughter. Now she is a gift. She has seen me go through all of this, and her mother too, I have explained it to her, honestly, always letting her know how valuable her feelings are and how none of this was her fault nor could she have made a difference in the outcome. I have also always respected her boundaries with her mom, and yet let her know that mine, as a MOM are different. I've told her what it's like to have a child who is difficult and does bad things, but how it never impacts your love for them. She can't really get that until she has kids of her own I think, but she always listens. She did the most amazing thing when we had a family talk, my difficult child, my SO, my granddaughter and me. She said everything that was inside her to her mom that day. She got right to the point, told her mom exactly how she felt. At the end, when we were alone, she said, "I told Mom everything I ever wanted to say to her." She looked visibly relieved and different. In that moment I thought, <em>she is going to be just fine</em>. If I had had that opportunity when I was 15 with someone supporting me to tell the truth and unburden myself to the source of the pain, I would not have needed 20 years of therapy. I am very proud of her. With all the trauma in her life, losing her Dad when she was 3 1/2, losing her mom to insanity, losing her sisters to their other grandmother, and then landing with me, she could have gone down a very different road. But honestly, she is a really happy kid, does very well in school, has healthy good friends, is charming and funny and very likable. I raised my sister and my daughter and they both succumbed to some kind of mental illness, and boy did I blame myself for that for a long time. But I don't anymore, and my granddaughter is showing me that I can do some parenting right and the results can be wonderful. She is a gem, a joy and she brings both my SO and I a lot of laughter and fun. (<em>Sorry, I just had to brag a little about her. Thanks.</em>)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 525379, member: 13542"] Thank you. It's unlikely that my difficult child will go to therapy, I would just love it if she did, but, she does not believe in therapy and that is one of those dreams I had to let go of. However, you mentioned my granddaughter. Now she is a gift. She has seen me go through all of this, and her mother too, I have explained it to her, honestly, always letting her know how valuable her feelings are and how none of this was her fault nor could she have made a difference in the outcome. I have also always respected her boundaries with her mom, and yet let her know that mine, as a MOM are different. I've told her what it's like to have a child who is difficult and does bad things, but how it never impacts your love for them. She can't really get that until she has kids of her own I think, but she always listens. She did the most amazing thing when we had a family talk, my difficult child, my SO, my granddaughter and me. She said everything that was inside her to her mom that day. She got right to the point, told her mom exactly how she felt. At the end, when we were alone, she said, "I told Mom everything I ever wanted to say to her." She looked visibly relieved and different. In that moment I thought, [I]she is going to be just fine[/I]. If I had had that opportunity when I was 15 with someone supporting me to tell the truth and unburden myself to the source of the pain, I would not have needed 20 years of therapy. I am very proud of her. With all the trauma in her life, losing her Dad when she was 3 1/2, losing her mom to insanity, losing her sisters to their other grandmother, and then landing with me, she could have gone down a very different road. But honestly, she is a really happy kid, does very well in school, has healthy good friends, is charming and funny and very likable. I raised my sister and my daughter and they both succumbed to some kind of mental illness, and boy did I blame myself for that for a long time. But I don't anymore, and my granddaughter is showing me that I can do some parenting right and the results can be wonderful. She is a gem, a joy and she brings both my SO and I a lot of laughter and fun. ([I]Sorry, I just had to brag a little about her. Thanks.[/I]) [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Has my difficult child woken up from her long sleep? (long post!)
Top