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<blockquote data-quote="HowMuchLonger" data-source="post: 410807" data-attributes="member: 11280"><p>Even more wonderful ideas and suggestions guys..thanks</p><p></p><p>StepTo2 - I think I'm slowly coming to terms with having to call the police. It always sickened and frightened me, but after this latest meltdown, once I made the decision to call someone, anyone to help me I felt a calmness...maybe jsut because I finally MADE a decision...or maybe because it's always been hard for me to ask for or accept help it was a weight lifted. I don't know for sure. The agendas here are pretty much a joke depending on which teacher your child has. The school and board strongly support and push these onto us parents. We have to pay a portion (only $5 or $2 depending on how much is subsidized by home/school assn), and half the time I feel like I write my life story in it...only to have it return 3-4 days in a row with NO response....and then the school constantly spouts "parental support, communication, CONSISTENCY"...makes me fume!</p><p></p><p>Marg - could you please come and live with me?? No wait, your sig says you live near water..can I come live with you??? LOL. I have been trying really hard to pick my battles with him. I've given up having nicely dressed, properly groomed children with matching, non-holey socks. difficult child 3 goes to school looking (and probably smelling) like a hobo. Although he has started taking notice of girls lately and will stop a quick min. to wet down his cowlick before running out the door. I learned about "planned ignoring" in one of the workshops I took...that one's hard. I find it hard to decide which behaviours I should ignore and which are definite deal breakers. I think 10 years ago I would have been able to make that decision in a heartbeat and now I'm just so un-confident and unsure of myself. We also talk ALL the time at our counselling about natural consequences. Our biggest is the going out without proper clothes for the weather. I have given up fighting him about a coat, hat, mitts, gloves. I know he'll come in before frostbite sets in, or hypothermia (although he is just stubborn enough one day he might not lol). But he'll come home literally 10 days in a row shivering, red faced, frozen complaining..and do it again another 10 days. Apparently he's a little slow on the uptake here!</p><p></p><p>I 'think' we have pretty good communication with the school (at least on my end!). One thing I didn't address is our location. We are in one of the worst areas of our city (all we could afford to buy in) with one of the proven worst inner city schools..doesn't help does it? I volunteered for many years at the breakfast program there and out of the 300 students, we'd have 220 come through the doors every morning to get something to eat :/ I know some were there for the social aspect, but you can always spot the ones that aren't...We have something here in Ontario called EQAO where they test the kids in grade 3, 6 and I believe 9 and then compare each school with the board standards. At the end of the reports they tell you how many students are IEP'd in that particular school...in our school 57% !!! I haven't seen the other schools but that has to be high no? A lot of behavioural issues, family issues, social, economic etc etc etc. Some of difficult child 3's behaviours have definitely been either learned or encouraged there. The bigger problem to me is the high turnover rate.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HowMuchLonger, post: 410807, member: 11280"] Even more wonderful ideas and suggestions guys..thanks StepTo2 - I think I'm slowly coming to terms with having to call the police. It always sickened and frightened me, but after this latest meltdown, once I made the decision to call someone, anyone to help me I felt a calmness...maybe jsut because I finally MADE a decision...or maybe because it's always been hard for me to ask for or accept help it was a weight lifted. I don't know for sure. The agendas here are pretty much a joke depending on which teacher your child has. The school and board strongly support and push these onto us parents. We have to pay a portion (only $5 or $2 depending on how much is subsidized by home/school assn), and half the time I feel like I write my life story in it...only to have it return 3-4 days in a row with NO response....and then the school constantly spouts "parental support, communication, CONSISTENCY"...makes me fume! Marg - could you please come and live with me?? No wait, your sig says you live near water..can I come live with you??? LOL. I have been trying really hard to pick my battles with him. I've given up having nicely dressed, properly groomed children with matching, non-holey socks. difficult child 3 goes to school looking (and probably smelling) like a hobo. Although he has started taking notice of girls lately and will stop a quick min. to wet down his cowlick before running out the door. I learned about "planned ignoring" in one of the workshops I took...that one's hard. I find it hard to decide which behaviours I should ignore and which are definite deal breakers. I think 10 years ago I would have been able to make that decision in a heartbeat and now I'm just so un-confident and unsure of myself. We also talk ALL the time at our counselling about natural consequences. Our biggest is the going out without proper clothes for the weather. I have given up fighting him about a coat, hat, mitts, gloves. I know he'll come in before frostbite sets in, or hypothermia (although he is just stubborn enough one day he might not lol). But he'll come home literally 10 days in a row shivering, red faced, frozen complaining..and do it again another 10 days. Apparently he's a little slow on the uptake here! I 'think' we have pretty good communication with the school (at least on my end!). One thing I didn't address is our location. We are in one of the worst areas of our city (all we could afford to buy in) with one of the proven worst inner city schools..doesn't help does it? I volunteered for many years at the breakfast program there and out of the 300 students, we'd have 220 come through the doors every morning to get something to eat :/ I know some were there for the social aspect, but you can always spot the ones that aren't...We have something here in Ontario called EQAO where they test the kids in grade 3, 6 and I believe 9 and then compare each school with the board standards. At the end of the reports they tell you how many students are IEP'd in that particular school...in our school 57% !!! I haven't seen the other schools but that has to be high no? A lot of behavioural issues, family issues, social, economic etc etc etc. Some of difficult child 3's behaviours have definitely been either learned or encouraged there. The bigger problem to me is the high turnover rate. [/QUOTE]
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