I just feel like my Difficult Child is going to die soon. He is bouncing back and forth to detox and coming out and drinking right away. Saying he can't do it any more. He seems paralysed, no coping skills to put him on the right path. Yesterday he called -his street buddy who is obviously a loose cannon, was looking after him, then started to choke him. He got away from him and called exgfs mother to ask her to pick him up and take him to detox. She's done this so many times and swore she was done, but has that good nature that can't refuse someone in need of help, even though she is pretty clued in to his character by now. He called me and said they were going to detox and then she was going to pick him up the next morning (today) and take him to the Denver Rescue Mission and he'd stay there for the long term. He sounded okay, a bit shaken, but ready to do it. I got an email from her this morning. He apparently wanted to meet up first with this girl he's been seeing (for about 5 minutes) and sleep in his dad's bus. He told exgf's mom that he wanted to have some fun. Red flags went up in her mind. She arranged a time to pick him up this morning and he was nowhere to be found. She has put so much energy into him. Her own daughter is having problems but she is still looking out for my son. Yet just now she emailed me and said "I hope nothing bad has happened to him". I told her I was feeling the same way. I can't explain it and maybe I'm just being overdramatic or neurotic or something, but I feel like he just is running out of time. He still has opportunities to get on the straight and narrow but doesn't seem to be interested. I think he is truly giving up and is going to let the waves wash over him. I just can't shake this feeling. Have I done enough? Would my going out there perhaps prevent something more catastrophic from happening? Does he feel unloved? Desperate? Alone? If he dies, can I live with the knowledge that there was just one more chance, a different approach that could have saved him?